Even if I didn't see anything else, I did see, I saw....you...and I'm very...very glad for that...
...and I proudly represent District 2, troupe 5-7-0-9...
I'm not sure what to think of State. I was looking forward to a sort of unbearable bliss. But it definitely wasn't. And it was nowhere near what it was two years ago. It took me away from some of the hell of everyday life. Relatively speaking, State was awesome...but that's in comparison to the incedible lows of my life in the past year. It's weird, but I seem to have realized that there is no bliss. I just don't find joy anymore. This is as good as it gets. At one point, I used to get upset at this realization, but I have come to appreciate it for what it is. And despite the lows of the trip, I drove home content. As I stated in the wonderful conversation with my awesome roomies on Friday night, life is so less meaningfull then people want it to be, and there's no way that we could comprehend the effects of simply our living is on greater systems, just in the same way that a bee could never understand how it's everyday occurance of lying on flowers is actually allowing all life to exist. How important we all are as a whole! But most certainly not indivudually. I don't matter. And that is a hard thing to accept. But it's true. And I'm ok with it.
I want people to know that I really deeply care about them. There are so many people who are wonderful to me and deservant of love, and I hope that I can give it to them. There are even people that I barely get a chance to talk to. But I still care.
I just have to say that my Dad wins the Most Improved Person Award. He cares now. And that's nice. It's funny that he has become like a PTA Mom, going to everything. But it's good. I couldn't have a warmer relationship with him then I do now, given his shiveringly cold personality. And I'm very happy for that.
Now I'm off to do a retarded assignment by Taboada that is due before pack/leave for Providence tomorrow. I'm going to have to sleep on the plane and therefore get even more sore. I had my few days of okness, now I'm back to constant stress and work...headed up by everyone's favorite lesbian...So, I'll keep in touch while I'm up there. I hape everyone has a pleasant Spring Break.
I'm not sure what to think of State. I was looking forward to a sort of unbearable bliss. But it definitely wasn't. And it was nowhere near what it was two years ago. It took me away from some of the hell of everyday life. Relatively speaking, State was awesome...but that's in comparison to the incedible lows of my life in the past year. It's weird, but I seem to have realized that there is no bliss. I just don't find joy anymore. This is as good as it gets. At one point, I used to get upset at this realization, but I have come to appreciate it for what it is. And despite the lows of the trip, I drove home content. As I stated in the wonderful conversation with my awesome roomies on Friday night, life is so less meaningfull then people want it to be, and there's no way that we could comprehend the effects of simply our living is on greater systems, just in the same way that a bee could never understand how it's everyday occurance of lying on flowers is actually allowing all life to exist. How important we all are as a whole! But most certainly not indivudually. I don't matter. And that is a hard thing to accept. But it's true. And I'm ok with it.
I want people to know that I really deeply care about them. There are so many people who are wonderful to me and deservant of love, and I hope that I can give it to them. There are even people that I barely get a chance to talk to. But I still care.
I just have to say that my Dad wins the Most Improved Person Award. He cares now. And that's nice. It's funny that he has become like a PTA Mom, going to everything. But it's good. I couldn't have a warmer relationship with him then I do now, given his shiveringly cold personality. And I'm very happy for that.
Now I'm off to do a retarded assignment by Taboada that is due before pack/leave for Providence tomorrow. I'm going to have to sleep on the plane and therefore get even more sore. I had my few days of okness, now I'm back to constant stress and work...headed up by everyone's favorite lesbian...So, I'll keep in touch while I'm up there. I hape everyone has a pleasant Spring Break.