(no subject)
I want to move back to Daytona... B/c I'm a coward and everything was easier there...
Don't you just hate it when something little happens, something that's totally seemingly insignificant at the time, and it just fucks your shit up and has you listening to the same song on repeat for the last hr and a half and reading old private LJ entries, when you really got on here to look at stuff from high school and laugh at yourself, and all you can do is cry and shake and be angry and lonely and sad and every emotion that's humanly possible to feel b/c there's some things that make you laugh but then make you cry after you get that chuckle out...
I wish I really regretted nothing in my life... I lie when I say I'm fine w/ everything.
I'M NOT FUCKING HAPPY. It's all a show. I feel lost and I don't know where I'm supposed to be going so I don't know how to get there.
I wish Sissy hadn't moved. I hate her for leaving me. I get so happy and excited when I talk to her, b/c she's my sister and I love her. But as soon as I hang up the phone, I'm like "I can't just drive over to her house" and get angry at her for leaving me. SHE LEFT ME. She left me to deal w/ Mom and Dad. Alone. When I moved, she lived out in Spotsy w/ Robbie. She could escape. I can't.
Don't you just hate it when something little happens, something that's totally seemingly insignificant at the time, and it just fucks your shit up and has you listening to the same song on repeat for the last hr and a half and reading old private LJ entries, when you really got on here to look at stuff from high school and laugh at yourself, and all you can do is cry and shake and be angry and lonely and sad and every emotion that's humanly possible to feel b/c there's some things that make you laugh but then make you cry after you get that chuckle out...
I wish I really regretted nothing in my life... I lie when I say I'm fine w/ everything.
I'M NOT FUCKING HAPPY. It's all a show. I feel lost and I don't know where I'm supposed to be going so I don't know how to get there.
I wish Sissy hadn't moved. I hate her for leaving me. I get so happy and excited when I talk to her, b/c she's my sister and I love her. But as soon as I hang up the phone, I'm like "I can't just drive over to her house" and get angry at her for leaving me. SHE LEFT ME. She left me to deal w/ Mom and Dad. Alone. When I moved, she lived out in Spotsy w/ Robbie. She could escape. I can't.