The Hilton's Gone Downhill
It's no secret that I loathe and detest P*rez Hilton. Not that it's any skin off his nose, mind you. The Rhonda simply is not famous enough to merit his dropping a donut long enough to write about me*. Just wait until my readership hits nine, though. And, even with fame? I still wouldn't care in the slightest if he said anything nasty about me in the little girly scrapbook he calls a web site. I simply don't pay attention to bitchy queens who manifest their bloated senses of self importance by acting like 12-year-olds online.
I have successfully avoided this pig-nosed waste of skin for years. That is, until last night. There I was...innocently watching America's Next Top Model (Shut up! There's more camp on ANTM than you can find in any drag show, and it's scrumptious!), and there he was. Why on earth was this assault on the eyes appearing on a show that's supposed to be about beauty and fashion?
I know...I just cracked myself up typing that last part.
Apparently he and Tyra Banks struck a deal: He'd stop talking smack about celebrities' kids for six months if she put him on her show. I thought, "Really, you vile commentary on our current culture? You'll pretend to be a decent human being for less than a year only if there's something in it for you?" I mean, what kind of absolute douchenozzle picks on kids who didn't ask to be yanked from the womb and thrust into the spotlight? And, Tyra? Whattheflippinfuck? She held all the cards in that agreement. She had exactly what that famewhoring twatwaffle wanted: More TV time. She could have played hardball like the strong woman she wants the ANTM hamsters to be, but she caved on six months. Fierce, my ass! Pffft. Pussy.
In my little vision of utopia, people will stop kowtowing to P*rez. So he posts some information about you and draws a big penis on it. Big deal. Stop giving him relevence, and he'll slither away. Ooooor, pay Will.I.Am and his friends to visit. Bring popcorn.
*Yeah, I noticed he lost some weight. Since he still acts like an insecure 12-year-old girl with a grudge and a bully complex, my comments stand.