just my thoughts
I feel so lost most of the time. My life has been a mess for over 4 years. I am starting to think I will never had a normal life again. I miss someone so much that my heart aches everyday. There has been a void in my life and only that person can fill it. I am just to the point where I don't believe anyone and sometimes think that everyone lies. Why does life have to be so hard. Why do I feel so alone all the time no matter who I am with? Sometime has to change. I want to be stable and have sometimes to look forward too. I lost a part of myself after each breakdown that I have had. I feel like I don't even know who I am right now. I can only pray that one day my life will feel complete again. I lost 15lbs and plan on losing at least 35 more. That will make me feel better as far as I see myself. I never really did care what other people thought of how I looked. But I still would like to be happy with myself. I still look bad and wonder how my life got to be such a mess... All I want is to be happy and make someone else happy, I want to be more a part of my kids life and I really miss having a dog. I am sick of being so confused. God show me the error of my ways. Something has to give or i feel like I will lose my mind again. I hate feeling uncertain, lost and not knowing if my life will ever be complete and happy again.