Stuff and things
So, my vacation's over, Chris has gone home, and as I go to bed, I am upset.
I'm considerably more sad than I expected to be that I won't see Chris again for at least a year and a half (money and work permitting). In line with that, I'm lonelier than usual again, though I'm sure that'll pass tomorrow, when I'll be too busy to think straight. I almost didn't want the pie I made tonight, because I'd gotten it to enjoy with a friend, not have alone. That's just plain dumb. :P
I'm also mad, because the last hours of the visit were ruined, and thinking back, it's probably half my fault--the allergic reaction was substantial and couldn't be helped. The part that's my fault is that I forgot, as we ran out to get Benedryl to stifle it, that I'd figured, "what the hell?" and tried my (badly) past date stuff hours before. In my defense, the reaction had gotten to the point that I was getting a little freaked out; they don't generally go on and on like that. But, my defense or not, I wound up taking up to a 100% overdose of Benedryl. It's no fucking wonder I was totally shut down. :(
So, tomorrow, I get to go back to a job that I can no longer claim to like any aspect of, game industry or not, and start up crunch time 2010. Tonight, I get to go to bed aggravated that real good times in my life come years apart, and I wasted some of it being an idiot.
I hate the flying FUCK out of driving. I don't think Chris is left with any illusions as to how much I really LOATHE going anywhere vaguely unfamiliar. I'd rather drive someplace new and terrifying every week (and sunburn the shit out of my head, and have a serious allergic reaction) than go back to work like this.
Awkward post is awkward, and I wanna watch Mayoi Neko Overrun! and drown in cute instead of going to work.
I'm considerably more sad than I expected to be that I won't see Chris again for at least a year and a half (money and work permitting). In line with that, I'm lonelier than usual again, though I'm sure that'll pass tomorrow, when I'll be too busy to think straight. I almost didn't want the pie I made tonight, because I'd gotten it to enjoy with a friend, not have alone. That's just plain dumb. :P
I'm also mad, because the last hours of the visit were ruined, and thinking back, it's probably half my fault--the allergic reaction was substantial and couldn't be helped. The part that's my fault is that I forgot, as we ran out to get Benedryl to stifle it, that I'd figured, "what the hell?" and tried my (badly) past date stuff hours before. In my defense, the reaction had gotten to the point that I was getting a little freaked out; they don't generally go on and on like that. But, my defense or not, I wound up taking up to a 100% overdose of Benedryl. It's no fucking wonder I was totally shut down. :(
So, tomorrow, I get to go back to a job that I can no longer claim to like any aspect of, game industry or not, and start up crunch time 2010. Tonight, I get to go to bed aggravated that real good times in my life come years apart, and I wasted some of it being an idiot.
I hate the flying FUCK out of driving. I don't think Chris is left with any illusions as to how much I really LOATHE going anywhere vaguely unfamiliar. I'd rather drive someplace new and terrifying every week (and sunburn the shit out of my head, and have a serious allergic reaction) than go back to work like this.
Awkward post is awkward, and I wanna watch Mayoi Neko Overrun! and drown in cute instead of going to work.