My Own SciFi Show
The following post was created to satisfy a challenge for scifiland . Under the cut, you'll find what would be My Own SciFi Show:
What happens when you get five random strangers, dump them together in a space-RV, and send them off across the galaxy in search of fame and riches? Each week, our contestants will have new challenges to face, not to mention the challenges of spending time together cramped in a tiny RV. The prize for first place? One million credits and bragging rights that you are the best of the Season 1 contestants!! Second place prize is a year’s supply of snorgle treats! Don’t miss the premier episode of SPACE RULES! Presented by Nothing Else Is On Tonight Productions, in conjunction with Are You Kidding Me Studios.
My name is R’Awr. I have been sent to this ridiculous freak show here as a representative of the Narn Regime. Ordinarily, I am guard to the Narn Ambassador on Babylon 5. However, I have been told by my government to participate in the silly games and present a positive Narn face to the rest of the Universe. I am not certain that I can do the positive face part. However, I am confident that I shall emerge victorious over the rest of the contestants. Wait, what is this RV thing? Five people in one RV - are you mad! Hiss!
My name is James Smith and I’m here because I have GOT to get away from my job. I serve on the Enterprise and I used to really like it. Then I found out their dirty little secret. You see this uniform shirt? It’s RED! You know what happens to the guys who wear the red shirts? Huh? Do you? I’ll tell you. Every week, there’s some sort of “mishap” or “accident” and the only person to get hurt or killed? The guy in the red shirt! I tell you this shirt is a curse! I need the prize money!
I am the Upside-Down Man. My motto is “I fight crime because I’ve been fired from every other goddamn job I have ever held and there’s just nothing else for me to do.” I was a bouncer - got fired for being too rough with the customers. I used to drive a school bus - got fired for cussing too much. I guess I taught the little guys some words their mommies didn’t want ‘em to know. This crime-fighting gig is getting a bit old now too. I mean, I look great in the costume but there’s only so many falls I can take.
My name is Zoe and I am the only female in Azkadelia’s Guards. We’re known as the Longcoats. It’s not a bad job but strange things are starting to happen in the OZ. We’ve been sent to chase down some girl and try to find some kind of emerald. It’s a very weird situation and I’ve been starting to think that it may be time to start looking for a new gig. That’s why I’m here - I need that prize money. Second place won’t do - I don’t even know what a snorgle is! I’m tough, though. I know I can win!
I am the Queen of Clubs. I’m not surprised if you don’t know who I am - the Queen of Hearts gets all the press where I’m from. I’m here to win enough money to get out from under White Rabbit and away from Mad March. I know that I’m taking a huge risk, appearing on this show, when someone like Mad March is after me. The truth is that I’m safer in space right now and, by the time this airs, I’ll be in the wind. I’m taking my winnings, changing my looks and my name, and I’m gone baby.
Starring:
Helena Bonham Carter asR'Awr
Neal McDonough as James Smith
Dave Batista as The Upside-Down Man
Brit Morgan as Zoe
Mariana Klaveno as The Queen of Clubs