Some Things You Just Can't Explain
An uncomfortable feeling of my heart trying to escape my cold chest, as I rest on a rock of a chair, with no feeling left in my tailbone. The thick air fills my lungs as I take a deep breath looking no where else but down. Not able to look at her as we wait, the creek of the door sounds, I perk up to see who it is, to discover my grandmother. She sits in the chair next to my aunt. I cannot breathe as I reach out to her and cup her hand, looking into her eyes for the first time since we got here. My grandma takes in one last breathe before breaking the silence. Words roll from her tongue that I will never forget for the rest of my time. A feeling takes over my body as chills travel through my spine; a smile grows upon my face, as a tear of joy strolls down my cheek. A feeling of joy fills the air yet she doesn’t say a word, no one speaks, a moment that words cannot describe. I look deep into her eyes as she stares straight ahead in silence and disbelief. Words of curiosity break the silence once again, as my Grandma whispers out
“So do you have a name yet? Still staring into the light of her eyes I respond
“Yes actually… Ryan Patrick” When she turned to me, with a stream of mascara running down from her eyes, finally with a smile stretched across her face that weakened my knees and made me feel good enough to faint. Words can not describe the joy running through my body, I reach out to express my love with a hug, and just as my arms reach hers, she fades away into the air like a whisper lost in the winds of a hurricane. My arms hit together as I watch the ground disappear from under my feet. My eyes shoot open, heart racing in panic as disbelief takes over my body, still not sure what had just happened. I look down at my shirt to find only my bare skin, when everything came clear. I can not believe it. I roll out of bed not wanting to believe. Rage shows now in my soul as I think back of you and him. An empty spot in my chest thrives for a new heart, as I reach out and grab the picture of you and me which still lay upon my bed side. My thumb grazes the glass in front of your face, while tears splash off the glass moistening my thumb. An emptiness words could never explain take over me once again, as reality sets in and I remember you are no longer mine.
“So do you have a name yet? Still staring into the light of her eyes I respond
“Yes actually… Ryan Patrick” When she turned to me, with a stream of mascara running down from her eyes, finally with a smile stretched across her face that weakened my knees and made me feel good enough to faint. Words can not describe the joy running through my body, I reach out to express my love with a hug, and just as my arms reach hers, she fades away into the air like a whisper lost in the winds of a hurricane. My arms hit together as I watch the ground disappear from under my feet. My eyes shoot open, heart racing in panic as disbelief takes over my body, still not sure what had just happened. I look down at my shirt to find only my bare skin, when everything came clear. I can not believe it. I roll out of bed not wanting to believe. Rage shows now in my soul as I think back of you and him. An empty spot in my chest thrives for a new heart, as I reach out and grab the picture of you and me which still lay upon my bed side. My thumb grazes the glass in front of your face, while tears splash off the glass moistening my thumb. An emptiness words could never explain take over me once again, as reality sets in and I remember you are no longer mine.