Am I ugly?
...Not that I need reassurance or anything. But it sucks to hear my dad say what I do makes me an ugly person.
Because I don't think I am. What I have inked into my body or whatever makes me, me. But he doesn't like what he sees and constantly judges it. I think he is embarrassed by me. Which is sad. That's not what I intended when I got my lip pierced or got my tattoos. And its not even physically he thinks im ugly. My life choices make me ugly. Its ugly that im wasting money on myself. Its ugly that i don't think about the "sacrifices" him and his wife made for me (they haven't done shit for me this past year"
I just...feel sad. I shouldn't though. I don't think its a bad thing that I saved up money so I can get something that I've wanted for over a year now. It'd be different if I didn't have the money but was getting it anyways. He's still getting his 800 dollars. what more does he want from me? School is completely covered and i'm solid for next year. I don't understand his expectations and when I ask him what he does want he just says, "I expect my daughter to make the right, mature decisions" WTF
so does that mean I give you all my earned money so you can pay your wife's medical bills because she thinks she's dying every other week? Its so aggravating. I feel like i'm not allowed to live around him. Every decision I make is wrong in his eyes. Everything I say, everything I do...needs to be better, but i'm doing the best I can. I can't be this super happy person 24/7 who wants to go to church every day and be bffs with his wife. It just won't happen. He acts like there's a switch that i can just flick and change. I've gone through so much mentally this year I don't get what he wants me to be. I hate that he's disappointed in me, but i don't want to change myself to fix it. Why can't he just accept me?
Because I don't think I am. What I have inked into my body or whatever makes me, me. But he doesn't like what he sees and constantly judges it. I think he is embarrassed by me. Which is sad. That's not what I intended when I got my lip pierced or got my tattoos. And its not even physically he thinks im ugly. My life choices make me ugly. Its ugly that im wasting money on myself. Its ugly that i don't think about the "sacrifices" him and his wife made for me (they haven't done shit for me this past year"
I just...feel sad. I shouldn't though. I don't think its a bad thing that I saved up money so I can get something that I've wanted for over a year now. It'd be different if I didn't have the money but was getting it anyways. He's still getting his 800 dollars. what more does he want from me? School is completely covered and i'm solid for next year. I don't understand his expectations and when I ask him what he does want he just says, "I expect my daughter to make the right, mature decisions" WTF
so does that mean I give you all my earned money so you can pay your wife's medical bills because she thinks she's dying every other week? Its so aggravating. I feel like i'm not allowed to live around him. Every decision I make is wrong in his eyes. Everything I say, everything I do...needs to be better, but i'm doing the best I can. I can't be this super happy person 24/7 who wants to go to church every day and be bffs with his wife. It just won't happen. He acts like there's a switch that i can just flick and change. I've gone through so much mentally this year I don't get what he wants me to be. I hate that he's disappointed in me, but i don't want to change myself to fix it. Why can't he just accept me?