Fic: ATWT RPF: Creepier Things (Cry For Yer Reid)
Title: Creepier Things (Cry For Yer Reid)
Fandom: As The World Turns RPF
Characters: Van Hansis, Tyler Hanes
Rating: PG, total fluff
Disclaimer: This is RPF -- real people fiction. I do not know these people. I do not claim to know these people. I mean no harm with my entirely made up story about these people that I do not know. Again, no injury is intended. No profit is made.
Summary: Facebook is usually Van's drinking alone activity.
Creepier Things (Cry For Yer Reid)
In general, Tyler understood that Facebook was Van’s drinking alone activity. Van had told him more than once that it was impossible to dive into those crazy infested waters sober, and that nothing but liquid courage and sheer vanity could make him face those hoards of boundary-less fans. Tyler could understand that. It was a pretty big ego trip to sign on and see so many people making asses of themselves in hopes of getting just a scrap of Van’s attention.
Still, it was horrible, too, seeing people using Van’s photo as their Facebook profile pic, or using fake names like Mrs. Van Grimaldi, or Mr.Iloveyouvan Silbermann. It made him wonder when people got so lost in their fantasy that they thought that kind of thing was acceptable.
Then there were the number of people who truly thought or at least implied that Jake and Van were more than just friends. Some of them even wrote elaborate stories about the sex Van and Jake got up to behind the scenes, or in Paris, or here in L.A., and some other deluded souls liked to portray them as star-crossed lovers separated by a continent and prejudice in the acting world. Those people were disturbing, too. If the idea of Van and Jake Promote-Himself-Sillymann getting it on wasn’t entirely hilarious, and kinda hot, Tyler might feel the need to go announce himself on the Facebook page as the only -- well main -- top and bottom in Van’s life, thank you very much, but as it was, it just seemed stupid.
Tyler didn’t use his Facebook fan page like that himself, having suffered from enough second-hand embarrassment from Van’s fans’ behavior that he didn’t want to encourage anything similar from his own. Still, sometimes he did envy Van’s steady stream of ego-pumping nonsense; every actor needed attention and validation, and the Facebook page was a cheap and easy way to get it. Cheap and easy being the key words in describing the experience both in terms of investment and quality of feedback.
Van usually saved his solo-drinking/Facebooking for times when Tyler was on the road with Broadway Dreams, but he’d apparently needed an ego boost in the middle of the day a few months into their new life in Los Angeles, because Tyler returned from his trip to Whole Foods to find Van with a bottle of Jameson and a glass of ice sitting at his computer, earphones in, and a meditative expression on his face.
Tyler gave up on the idea of getting help with the groceries, and hauled them all from the trunk of his car and up into the apartment himself. After putting everything away, he headed over to rub Van’s shoulders, reading over his head.
A woman with a strangely cropped shot of Jake kissing her cheek as her profile picture had left a comment on Van’s Facebook going on and on about what a talented actor he was, and how she missed seeing him on her television screen every week, and did he ever talk to Jake anymore?
Tyler rolled his eyes. He tugged the right earphone out and leaned over say, “Tell her you were sucking Jake’s cock just yesterday, as a matter of fact.”
“Ha. Very funny,” Van said, but he sounded a little morose.
Tyler wrapped his arms around Van’s shoulders, and bent low, hooking his head over the right one and said, “I have an even better idea. Tell her you were sucking his toes.”
“Oh, God. I’m never going to live that foot fetish rumor down.”
“That’s what you get for trying to be funny, honey.”
“I am funny. It’s everyone else who can’t take a joke.”
Tyler sighed. “What’s got you all full of piss and vinegar today?”
“Nothing,” Van said. “Just can’t find the right song for my thirty-day-song-challenge entry on Facebook.”
“Sounds problematic,” Tyler said.
“Yeah. And I didn’t get the part.”
“I figured. But come on, babe. We knew it would be hard. Don’t beat yourself up.”
“I’m not. I’m seeking solace in song.”
“And groupies.”
“They love me no matter what.”
“Not true. They love you so long as they can think you’re sucking Jake’s cock, or that you care about their little lives.”
Van put the earphone back in his right ear, effectively dismissing Tyler. Tyler decided to let him mope and drink and self-medicate with insane people who adored him so long as they could pretend that he was something or someone that he was not.
Tyler had some work to do anyway. Seeing Van on Facebook reminded him that he had some links he needed to put up for Broadway Dreams, and if Van was going to trawl YouTube for just the right song, he was going to spend some time looking at epic dances and post them for his much more sane fanbase to enjoy.
As Tyler sat down on their bed in the other room, settling in with his laptop, he started to type in his user log-in information and the drop-down box revealed something he’d almost forgotten. Grinning, and hoping that this might turn Van’s smile upside down, he logged in under the sock puppet account he’d set up a few weeks ago when he’d been feeling sinisterly-pranksterish, but had never gotten around to using.
He made himself comfortable, double checked that, yes, Van had added him as a friend, which meant that his attempt to make it appear legitimate had worked, and he clicked onto Van’s fan page. He read through a few of the desperate and disturbing posts by Van’s fans, and then cracked his knuckles, poised his hands over the keyboard, and let it fly.
Luke! I can’t stop crying becose yr Reid dyed! I loved him and I know you did to.
I think you must want to die to but plese don’t kill yerslef, and I wont either.
I loved him, and you are so sad it hurts me.
God Luke. It wil be ok, ok? Dont give in to drinking agin!
Yur Fan ALWAYS FOREVER. LUV YOU.
Tyler figured that he’d probably gone too far, that Van wouldn’t reply to it but within a few moments an answer did appear.
calm down. it’ll be okay. luke isn’t real, and neither is reid.
i’m an actor and i’m alive and well,
and so is the man who played reid on the show.
Tyler grinned and typed a bit more.
You talked to me!!!!!! OMG OM GM GOSDljdajflfjadfj!! ARE YOU CRYING FOR YER REID???
This time the reply took a little a longer, but it did come, and Tyler shook his head. Van shouldn’t engage the crazies. Nothing good would come of it.
it’s okay. really. just calm down and take some deep breaths.
Tyler giggled, and then couldn’t resist.
Do you talk to yer dad? He didn’t meen to hurt you, Luke. He lufs you.
There was no answer to that, and Tyler nodded. Good. At least Van had some limits. Tyler added a few links to his own fan page, and then came back to Van’s. He saw that Van had posted some Mumford & Sons song, and was chatting a bit with a few fans who had seen the band in concert. Tyler cracked his knuckles again.
Luke, you like Mumford? How many sons does he have? I think ten.
I saw ten suns with my 3-d glasses. You ever see 3-d movie, Luke? It’s really cool. You will like it.
And now I cry again because you can’t see a 3-d movie with yer REID!!
DO NOT CRY, LUKE! REID LOVED YOU!
Van made a noise in the other room, and Tyler grabbed the pillow next to him and stuffed it in his mouth to keep from laughing loud enough for Van to hear.
dude, relax. honestly, it’s okay. and, yeah 3-d is cool.
Tyler choked back another laugh before he replied.
LUKE! I HAVE IDEA FOR HOW TO MAKE OKAY THAT REID DIE!
YOU AND NOAH COULD MAKE 3-D MOVIE! AND SUCK EACH OTHER’S TOES!
I’D PAY YOU A LOT OF MONEY! WE ALL WILL! YOU SUCK TOES SO GOOD!
There was only a moment of silence before Van yelled, “Tyler! You suck! You suck so much!”
Tyler cracked up, and the bedroom door opened revealing Van laughing and pointing at him.
“You got me,” Van said, dropping onto the bed next to him, and diving in to try to tickle. “You got me good.”
Tyler managed to get his laptop onto the bedside table before it crashed to the floor under Van’s onslaught of tickle fingers.
“Sad thing is, babe, you believed it!” Tyler laughed.
“My fans are truly deranged at times,” Van agreed. “Oh, God, what does that say about me?”
“That you’re good enough to inspire delusions and insanity in quite a number of desperate and sad people! I think that’s called the makings of something big, baby.”
Van snorted, and laughed. “Better to have crazy people on my side than no one at all.”
“The crazy people are the best kind. Well, until they aren’t.”
“This was almost as good as that time you texted me from the future,” Van said, giving up the tickling and tucking his head against Tyler’s shoulder.
Tyler put an arm around him and pulled him tight. “That was only awesome because you had the exact same idea.”
Van was silent.
Tyler’s eyes narrowed. “Wait. You didn’t have the same idea, did you? You weren’t going to play schizo-fan on my page were you?”
Van remained quiet.
“I wouldn’t have fallen for it,” Tyler said.
“We’ll never know will we?” Van said in voice that made Tyler very aware that somewhere, somehow there would be a prank that Van dreamed up that would put this one to shame.
Van kissed his neck. He smelled like booze.
“Feeling any better?” Tyler asked. “Or just drunk?”
“Drunk and Facebooked out. I don’t know if I feel better or not. I should’ve stuck to the detox diet, probably. Drinking and Facebooking only work when done in joy. Now I just feel dirty. And duped.”
Tyler sighed. “Work will come when it comes. We’ll be okay.”
“Since when are you so optimistic?”
“I’m taking your role today.”
Van nodded and said, “I need something to do with my days. I’ve had too much time on my hands.”
“We could work on that dance number again,” Tyler began.
“Don’t even. I will kill you,” Van said.
“Okay, okay. Well, I guess I’m going to make dinner now.”
“Sure, okay.” Van lolled on the bed, looking drunk, drowsy, and pretty fuckable, but Tyler went on to the kitchen and started to pull together a healthy meal. Fucking could wait.
That night, ready to get in bed, and listening to Van finish up in the bathroom, Tyler checked to make sure he’d really put the right links on his Facebook page for Broadway Dreams. There near the top of the page was a Wall message from someone he’d never heard of before.
i will suck yer toes so good!
Tyler snorted, hit reply, and left a message that would no doubt confuse everyone.
I sure hope so, you foot-fetish queen.
Tyler checked out his feet. They were clean enough, and Van made enough jokes about it that sucking on toes must be something he’s more than a little interested in actually doing. And while it had never really entered Tyler’s mind as anything other than a laugh, he was willing to offer his toes up to Van’s mouth, if it would make Van happy. Or make them both laugh. Or both.
Besides, even if Tyler’s feet were covered in bunions and warts, which they weren’t, Van had sucked on creepier things - like the collective private parts of his entire Facebook fan page, every time he got online and interacted with them. It was about time Tyler’s feet got their due.
THE END
Fandom: As The World Turns RPF
Characters: Van Hansis, Tyler Hanes
Rating: PG, total fluff
Disclaimer: This is RPF -- real people fiction. I do not know these people. I do not claim to know these people. I mean no harm with my entirely made up story about these people that I do not know. Again, no injury is intended. No profit is made.
Summary: Facebook is usually Van's drinking alone activity.
Creepier Things (Cry For Yer Reid)
In general, Tyler understood that Facebook was Van’s drinking alone activity. Van had told him more than once that it was impossible to dive into those crazy infested waters sober, and that nothing but liquid courage and sheer vanity could make him face those hoards of boundary-less fans. Tyler could understand that. It was a pretty big ego trip to sign on and see so many people making asses of themselves in hopes of getting just a scrap of Van’s attention.
Still, it was horrible, too, seeing people using Van’s photo as their Facebook profile pic, or using fake names like Mrs. Van Grimaldi, or Mr.Iloveyouvan Silbermann. It made him wonder when people got so lost in their fantasy that they thought that kind of thing was acceptable.
Then there were the number of people who truly thought or at least implied that Jake and Van were more than just friends. Some of them even wrote elaborate stories about the sex Van and Jake got up to behind the scenes, or in Paris, or here in L.A., and some other deluded souls liked to portray them as star-crossed lovers separated by a continent and prejudice in the acting world. Those people were disturbing, too. If the idea of Van and Jake Promote-Himself-Sillymann getting it on wasn’t entirely hilarious, and kinda hot, Tyler might feel the need to go announce himself on the Facebook page as the only -- well main -- top and bottom in Van’s life, thank you very much, but as it was, it just seemed stupid.
Tyler didn’t use his Facebook fan page like that himself, having suffered from enough second-hand embarrassment from Van’s fans’ behavior that he didn’t want to encourage anything similar from his own. Still, sometimes he did envy Van’s steady stream of ego-pumping nonsense; every actor needed attention and validation, and the Facebook page was a cheap and easy way to get it. Cheap and easy being the key words in describing the experience both in terms of investment and quality of feedback.
Van usually saved his solo-drinking/Facebooking for times when Tyler was on the road with Broadway Dreams, but he’d apparently needed an ego boost in the middle of the day a few months into their new life in Los Angeles, because Tyler returned from his trip to Whole Foods to find Van with a bottle of Jameson and a glass of ice sitting at his computer, earphones in, and a meditative expression on his face.
Tyler gave up on the idea of getting help with the groceries, and hauled them all from the trunk of his car and up into the apartment himself. After putting everything away, he headed over to rub Van’s shoulders, reading over his head.
A woman with a strangely cropped shot of Jake kissing her cheek as her profile picture had left a comment on Van’s Facebook going on and on about what a talented actor he was, and how she missed seeing him on her television screen every week, and did he ever talk to Jake anymore?
Tyler rolled his eyes. He tugged the right earphone out and leaned over say, “Tell her you were sucking Jake’s cock just yesterday, as a matter of fact.”
“Ha. Very funny,” Van said, but he sounded a little morose.
Tyler wrapped his arms around Van’s shoulders, and bent low, hooking his head over the right one and said, “I have an even better idea. Tell her you were sucking his toes.”
“Oh, God. I’m never going to live that foot fetish rumor down.”
“That’s what you get for trying to be funny, honey.”
“I am funny. It’s everyone else who can’t take a joke.”
Tyler sighed. “What’s got you all full of piss and vinegar today?”
“Nothing,” Van said. “Just can’t find the right song for my thirty-day-song-challenge entry on Facebook.”
“Sounds problematic,” Tyler said.
“Yeah. And I didn’t get the part.”
“I figured. But come on, babe. We knew it would be hard. Don’t beat yourself up.”
“I’m not. I’m seeking solace in song.”
“And groupies.”
“They love me no matter what.”
“Not true. They love you so long as they can think you’re sucking Jake’s cock, or that you care about their little lives.”
Van put the earphone back in his right ear, effectively dismissing Tyler. Tyler decided to let him mope and drink and self-medicate with insane people who adored him so long as they could pretend that he was something or someone that he was not.
Tyler had some work to do anyway. Seeing Van on Facebook reminded him that he had some links he needed to put up for Broadway Dreams, and if Van was going to trawl YouTube for just the right song, he was going to spend some time looking at epic dances and post them for his much more sane fanbase to enjoy.
As Tyler sat down on their bed in the other room, settling in with his laptop, he started to type in his user log-in information and the drop-down box revealed something he’d almost forgotten. Grinning, and hoping that this might turn Van’s smile upside down, he logged in under the sock puppet account he’d set up a few weeks ago when he’d been feeling sinisterly-pranksterish, but had never gotten around to using.
He made himself comfortable, double checked that, yes, Van had added him as a friend, which meant that his attempt to make it appear legitimate had worked, and he clicked onto Van’s fan page. He read through a few of the desperate and disturbing posts by Van’s fans, and then cracked his knuckles, poised his hands over the keyboard, and let it fly.
Luke! I can’t stop crying becose yr Reid dyed! I loved him and I know you did to.
I think you must want to die to but plese don’t kill yerslef, and I wont either.
I loved him, and you are so sad it hurts me.
God Luke. It wil be ok, ok? Dont give in to drinking agin!
Yur Fan ALWAYS FOREVER. LUV YOU.
Tyler figured that he’d probably gone too far, that Van wouldn’t reply to it but within a few moments an answer did appear.
calm down. it’ll be okay. luke isn’t real, and neither is reid.
i’m an actor and i’m alive and well,
and so is the man who played reid on the show.
Tyler grinned and typed a bit more.
You talked to me!!!!!! OMG OM GM GOSDljdajflfjadfj!! ARE YOU CRYING FOR YER REID???
This time the reply took a little a longer, but it did come, and Tyler shook his head. Van shouldn’t engage the crazies. Nothing good would come of it.
it’s okay. really. just calm down and take some deep breaths.
Tyler giggled, and then couldn’t resist.
Do you talk to yer dad? He didn’t meen to hurt you, Luke. He lufs you.
There was no answer to that, and Tyler nodded. Good. At least Van had some limits. Tyler added a few links to his own fan page, and then came back to Van’s. He saw that Van had posted some Mumford & Sons song, and was chatting a bit with a few fans who had seen the band in concert. Tyler cracked his knuckles again.
Luke, you like Mumford? How many sons does he have? I think ten.
I saw ten suns with my 3-d glasses. You ever see 3-d movie, Luke? It’s really cool. You will like it.
And now I cry again because you can’t see a 3-d movie with yer REID!!
DO NOT CRY, LUKE! REID LOVED YOU!
Van made a noise in the other room, and Tyler grabbed the pillow next to him and stuffed it in his mouth to keep from laughing loud enough for Van to hear.
dude, relax. honestly, it’s okay. and, yeah 3-d is cool.
Tyler choked back another laugh before he replied.
LUKE! I HAVE IDEA FOR HOW TO MAKE OKAY THAT REID DIE!
YOU AND NOAH COULD MAKE 3-D MOVIE! AND SUCK EACH OTHER’S TOES!
I’D PAY YOU A LOT OF MONEY! WE ALL WILL! YOU SUCK TOES SO GOOD!
There was only a moment of silence before Van yelled, “Tyler! You suck! You suck so much!”
Tyler cracked up, and the bedroom door opened revealing Van laughing and pointing at him.
“You got me,” Van said, dropping onto the bed next to him, and diving in to try to tickle. “You got me good.”
Tyler managed to get his laptop onto the bedside table before it crashed to the floor under Van’s onslaught of tickle fingers.
“Sad thing is, babe, you believed it!” Tyler laughed.
“My fans are truly deranged at times,” Van agreed. “Oh, God, what does that say about me?”
“That you’re good enough to inspire delusions and insanity in quite a number of desperate and sad people! I think that’s called the makings of something big, baby.”
Van snorted, and laughed. “Better to have crazy people on my side than no one at all.”
“The crazy people are the best kind. Well, until they aren’t.”
“This was almost as good as that time you texted me from the future,” Van said, giving up the tickling and tucking his head against Tyler’s shoulder.
Tyler put an arm around him and pulled him tight. “That was only awesome because you had the exact same idea.”
Van was silent.
Tyler’s eyes narrowed. “Wait. You didn’t have the same idea, did you? You weren’t going to play schizo-fan on my page were you?”
Van remained quiet.
“I wouldn’t have fallen for it,” Tyler said.
“We’ll never know will we?” Van said in voice that made Tyler very aware that somewhere, somehow there would be a prank that Van dreamed up that would put this one to shame.
Van kissed his neck. He smelled like booze.
“Feeling any better?” Tyler asked. “Or just drunk?”
“Drunk and Facebooked out. I don’t know if I feel better or not. I should’ve stuck to the detox diet, probably. Drinking and Facebooking only work when done in joy. Now I just feel dirty. And duped.”
Tyler sighed. “Work will come when it comes. We’ll be okay.”
“Since when are you so optimistic?”
“I’m taking your role today.”
Van nodded and said, “I need something to do with my days. I’ve had too much time on my hands.”
“We could work on that dance number again,” Tyler began.
“Don’t even. I will kill you,” Van said.
“Okay, okay. Well, I guess I’m going to make dinner now.”
“Sure, okay.” Van lolled on the bed, looking drunk, drowsy, and pretty fuckable, but Tyler went on to the kitchen and started to pull together a healthy meal. Fucking could wait.
That night, ready to get in bed, and listening to Van finish up in the bathroom, Tyler checked to make sure he’d really put the right links on his Facebook page for Broadway Dreams. There near the top of the page was a Wall message from someone he’d never heard of before.
i will suck yer toes so good!
Tyler snorted, hit reply, and left a message that would no doubt confuse everyone.
I sure hope so, you foot-fetish queen.
Tyler checked out his feet. They were clean enough, and Van made enough jokes about it that sucking on toes must be something he’s more than a little interested in actually doing. And while it had never really entered Tyler’s mind as anything other than a laugh, he was willing to offer his toes up to Van’s mouth, if it would make Van happy. Or make them both laugh. Or both.
Besides, even if Tyler’s feet were covered in bunions and warts, which they weren’t, Van had sucked on creepier things - like the collective private parts of his entire Facebook fan page, every time he got online and interacted with them. It was about time Tyler’s feet got their due.
THE END