(no subject)
Okay, I've been a grumpy kid. I will admit it. Reading everyone else's entries about love got me thinking. I do have a lot of things to be happy about along with all of the hard stuff that makes me want to cry. I still don't trust you Caroline, but I should have said something earlier, I have been having trouble trusting you for a while, you are just so incredible so often, and after this, I trust you even less. It's hard if not impossible to gain my trust back after you've really lost it, ask Erik, he's the only person I can think of that has ever done it. Anyway, you may not have, but I don't believe that you didn't, so tough luck on either side, but you're seeming really guilty. I'm sorry for that, but whatever, it's of your own doing. Whatever is meant to be will. I am going to Toppenish with my brother and dad this Friday afternoon and coming back Sunday evening. He promised to take us to get fireworks on the indian reservation again this year, the only reason I give credit to this is he CAN'T break this promise, Tim will refuse to go on living or shut up if he doesn't get his fireworks. He's tried breaking this promise before, it wasn't pretty. Mom is always going to have her fits, she's always going to be hard for me to understand, get along with, and communicate with, I am just trying to survive this until I don't have to anymore. So forgive me if I bit your freaking head off for something I see as a wrong on me, I've got a lot to think about and will NOT hesitate to get rid of anything else I am worried about. I don't need anymore drama in my life, period. It's nothing but trouble and waste. That means you too Nokes, no more drama queen stuff, I know the last thing stopped, but I don't want to see any more of that, I talked to Steven and he's going to try to avoid conflict with you so I'd appreciate it if you did the same. All of you girls, I'm sorry that I've drifted so much especially lately, I'm just having a hard time relating and not biting people's heads off, though when I do get to spend time with any of you, I do appreciate it and enjoy myself. Sheri, I'm really sorry I flaked on you yesterday, I feel really bad not even calling you or anything, I apologize. I hurt lots, I hate my lungs, weak things that they are, oh, the main air passage too, it's so fat and doesn't let enough air in during excersise. What are people doing for the fourth? I want to do something with a bunch of friends, I think getting together for a BBQ and watching the fireworks with people I love, in the friend way that is. Except Steven, I love him in a not friend way, but I want him there too. People get back to me. Peace and Loves,
Liana
Liana