Things I Learned From New Moon
Things I Learned From New Moon:
1. While kissing someone, it is attractive to look like you a) might throw up at any moment or b)can't really stand them.
THIS EXPRESSES YOUR PASSION.
2. If you are a werewolf, you run around without a shirt. All the time. Also, long hair is forbidden.
3. Bella’s idea of being a vampire is to prance around in forests and fields of wildflowers, glittering aggressively.
4. Before Bella can talk to Jacob, she has to make sure his chest still exists. She reassures herself frequently by making eye contact with his pecs before his face. Once, she even reaches out and touches his abs for a full 5 seconds before speaking to him.
5. When Bella and Edward are together, all they do is talk about how difficult their relationship is, and lay down in fields so that Bella can watch Edward glitter.
1. While kissing someone, it is attractive to look like you a) might throw up at any moment or b)can't really stand them.
THIS EXPRESSES YOUR PASSION.
2. If you are a werewolf, you run around without a shirt. All the time. Also, long hair is forbidden.
3. Bella’s idea of being a vampire is to prance around in forests and fields of wildflowers, glittering aggressively.
4. Before Bella can talk to Jacob, she has to make sure his chest still exists. She reassures herself frequently by making eye contact with his pecs before his face. Once, she even reaches out and touches his abs for a full 5 seconds before speaking to him.
5. When Bella and Edward are together, all they do is talk about how difficult their relationship is, and lay down in fields so that Bella can watch Edward glitter.