Firefly/SGA crossover - Scenes from an Atlantean Restaurant - Sample Taste
Scenes from an Atlantean Restaurant - Sample Taste
Author: Rhiannon
Fandom: Firefly/Stargate Atlantis
Characters: John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Teyla Emmagan, Ronon Dex, Jayne Cobb
Summary: Jayne enjoys a quiet meal on Atlantis
Word Count: 1,069
Genre: Gen, Vignette
Rating: G/All Ages
Timeline/Spoilers: Firefly: after series, BDM never happened. SGA: mid season 2, no spoilers
Series: Scenes from an Atlantean Restaurant
Disclaimer: I am not Joss Whedon, Brad Wright, or Robert Cooper. Therefore I own nothing.
Author's Notes: crossovers100 prompt #57 - Lunch. My Big Damn Table is here. Xie-xie to lvs2read for helping me find Jayne’s voice.
The title of this little series was shamelessly stolen from Billy Joel’s “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant”. This is a collection of snippets set in the Atlantis cafeteria or the adjacent balcony. There is no particular order to these stories. All occur in my Firefly/SGA universe that I have yet to name or complete the story of how the Serenity crew ended up on Atlantis.
Posted at crossovers100 , firefly_plus, serenity_gate, and stargate_xing.
Jayne looked around the cafeteria for a place to sit down and eat his lunch. He still wasn’t used to so many people in one place and not one of them trying to start a fight. Well, maybe a few of the science types who were arguing over something or other, but somehow he doubted it would end up in a brawl. Not a very good one, at least. He finally spotted an empty seat amid some of the more familiar faces and headed over.
“Hope this seat ain’t taken, ‘cause it is now,” Jayne said as he sat down and started eating his food.
“Go right ahead, make yourself comfortable,” John said sarcastically. “How are all of you settling in?”
“Fine I suppose, Colonel. Bunks are bigger than on Serenity, an’ havin’ all the water a man wants is somethin’ we don’t get out in the black.” Jayne shoveled some food in his mouth with a blissful expression on his face as he chewed. “What’s this stuff?”
“First, you can call me John. As far as what you’re eating, it looks like tava beans, potatoes, the almost-spinach we don’t ask too many questions about, mystery meat, jello, and a purple fruit we haven’t named yet.” John pointed to each of the food items in turn. “Not one of the greatest menus, but it’s better than nothing.”
“Hell, I’m eatin’ real food an’ none of that canned protein goushi we used to have on Serenity all the time,” Jayne mumbled through his food. “This here is what only rich folk eat where I’m from. I learned a long time ago not to ask what kind of meat is on the table and just be happy there was meat at all.”
“What exactly do you mean by canned protein? And what does ‘goushi’ mean?” Rodney asked between mouthfuls.
Jayne stopped with his spoon half-way to his mouth, gaping at Rodney like he was stupid for a moment before continuing to eat. “It’s exactly what it sounds like. Protein, vitamins, an’ all the other stuff a person needs to live,” he said through his food. “It comes in all kinds of flavors so folks can pretend they’re eatin’ somethin’ different at every meal. ‘Goushi’ is the stuff you step in an’ have to clean off your boots. I ain’t talkin’ mud, neither.” Jayne grinned as he scooped some more food in his mouth.
“You mean shit,” Ronon supplied.
“Oh, thank you Ronon, for spelling it out for us. I think we all figured out what Jayne was talking about. Why can’t we ever have a mealtime conversation that doesn’t involve some bodily fluid or dismemberment?” Rodney huffed.
“Because this is the Pegasus Galaxy?” John said with a hint of mischief that Jayne didn’t miss.
“That’s your answer for everything, isn’t it? Trust me, there’s some bizarre stuff going on in the Milky Way, not to mention the Ori galaxy, and the Asgard’s home galaxy. And we don’t even know which galaxies the Ori and the Asgard are from. Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots,” Rodney trailed off, glaring at John.
Ronon leaned over to Jayne and mock-whispered, “We still haven’t figured out how he says so much on one breath.”
Jayne didn’t even try to hold back a chuckle when Rodney scowled at Ronon then back at John. It looked like picking on Rodney and getting him all wound up was a favorite pastime. It also seemed to be about as easy getting Simon worked up.
He was still grinning as he took a bite of some genuine potatoes, complete with butter. If this wasn’t one of their best meals, he couldn’t wait to find out what they considered a good meal.
“The canned protein you talked about, it sounds very efficient, Jayne,” Teyla said before she turned to John. “Is this not like a Meal Ready to Eat?”
“Sounds more like a Powerbar. Everything you need to live, technically, but they don’t always taste great,” John shrugged.
“It’s like I just said. All that a person needs to live and dependin’ on what you do with it, it sometimes tastes like ass. It ain’t that ruttin’ complicated,” Jayne drawled out.
“You have any of that protein stuff on your ship? I want to know if it’s as bad as you say it is,” Ronon asked.
“It ain’t my ship, but yeah, I can get a can or two from it for you to try out. Hell, I can go right now, if you like. I’m done eatin’.”
“No citrus! They do come with labels, right? You don’t know about my deathly allergy to...” Rodney started to babble when John cut him off.
“Rodney! I’ll go with Jayne, make sure he doesn’t get lost and pick something that doesn’t have any citrus.”
It only took a few minutes for Jayne and John to make their way to Serenity and back to the cafeteria, each carrying a couple cans. Jayne sat down while John grabbed an empty tray and a couple of spoons before rejoining everyone at the table. Rodney picked up one of the cans and examined it.
“The canning process appears to be remarkably similar to current technology. I need to take one of these to the lab and run some tests,” Rodney muttered, examining the label. “This is Chinese, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, lots of things are written in Chinese.”
“Well, what does it say?” Rodney demanded.
Jayne took the can and pointed to various characters. “This says ‘Blue Sun’, the company that makes this stuff. This says that it’s pork flavor, an’ all this says how good it tastes an’ how good it is for a body.”
Jayne watched as the others looked over the rest of the cans on the table. Teyla picked up one can and looked at it, turning it over in her hands.
“What flavor is this one? I do not recognize the English on the label,” Teyla said as she handed the can to Jayne.
“Chocolate.”
“Cool. Let’s try it out,” John said as he went to find a can opener.
Jayne watched as John scooped the contents of the can on to the empty tray and everyone sampled it. He didn’t even bother to hold back a laugh at the faces everyone made. He’d already had some of their chocolate and knew how bad that stuff tasted compared to the Hershey’s someone gave him.
Author: Rhiannon
Fandom: Firefly/Stargate Atlantis
Characters: John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Teyla Emmagan, Ronon Dex, Jayne Cobb
Summary: Jayne enjoys a quiet meal on Atlantis
Word Count: 1,069
Genre: Gen, Vignette
Rating: G/All Ages
Timeline/Spoilers: Firefly: after series, BDM never happened. SGA: mid season 2, no spoilers
Series: Scenes from an Atlantean Restaurant
Disclaimer: I am not Joss Whedon, Brad Wright, or Robert Cooper. Therefore I own nothing.
Author's Notes: crossovers100 prompt #57 - Lunch. My Big Damn Table is here. Xie-xie to lvs2read for helping me find Jayne’s voice.
The title of this little series was shamelessly stolen from Billy Joel’s “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant”. This is a collection of snippets set in the Atlantis cafeteria or the adjacent balcony. There is no particular order to these stories. All occur in my Firefly/SGA universe that I have yet to name or complete the story of how the Serenity crew ended up on Atlantis.
Posted at crossovers100 , firefly_plus, serenity_gate, and stargate_xing.
Jayne looked around the cafeteria for a place to sit down and eat his lunch. He still wasn’t used to so many people in one place and not one of them trying to start a fight. Well, maybe a few of the science types who were arguing over something or other, but somehow he doubted it would end up in a brawl. Not a very good one, at least. He finally spotted an empty seat amid some of the more familiar faces and headed over.
“Hope this seat ain’t taken, ‘cause it is now,” Jayne said as he sat down and started eating his food.
“Go right ahead, make yourself comfortable,” John said sarcastically. “How are all of you settling in?”
“Fine I suppose, Colonel. Bunks are bigger than on Serenity, an’ havin’ all the water a man wants is somethin’ we don’t get out in the black.” Jayne shoveled some food in his mouth with a blissful expression on his face as he chewed. “What’s this stuff?”
“First, you can call me John. As far as what you’re eating, it looks like tava beans, potatoes, the almost-spinach we don’t ask too many questions about, mystery meat, jello, and a purple fruit we haven’t named yet.” John pointed to each of the food items in turn. “Not one of the greatest menus, but it’s better than nothing.”
“Hell, I’m eatin’ real food an’ none of that canned protein goushi we used to have on Serenity all the time,” Jayne mumbled through his food. “This here is what only rich folk eat where I’m from. I learned a long time ago not to ask what kind of meat is on the table and just be happy there was meat at all.”
“What exactly do you mean by canned protein? And what does ‘goushi’ mean?” Rodney asked between mouthfuls.
Jayne stopped with his spoon half-way to his mouth, gaping at Rodney like he was stupid for a moment before continuing to eat. “It’s exactly what it sounds like. Protein, vitamins, an’ all the other stuff a person needs to live,” he said through his food. “It comes in all kinds of flavors so folks can pretend they’re eatin’ somethin’ different at every meal. ‘Goushi’ is the stuff you step in an’ have to clean off your boots. I ain’t talkin’ mud, neither.” Jayne grinned as he scooped some more food in his mouth.
“You mean shit,” Ronon supplied.
“Oh, thank you Ronon, for spelling it out for us. I think we all figured out what Jayne was talking about. Why can’t we ever have a mealtime conversation that doesn’t involve some bodily fluid or dismemberment?” Rodney huffed.
“Because this is the Pegasus Galaxy?” John said with a hint of mischief that Jayne didn’t miss.
“That’s your answer for everything, isn’t it? Trust me, there’s some bizarre stuff going on in the Milky Way, not to mention the Ori galaxy, and the Asgard’s home galaxy. And we don’t even know which galaxies the Ori and the Asgard are from. Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots,” Rodney trailed off, glaring at John.
Ronon leaned over to Jayne and mock-whispered, “We still haven’t figured out how he says so much on one breath.”
Jayne didn’t even try to hold back a chuckle when Rodney scowled at Ronon then back at John. It looked like picking on Rodney and getting him all wound up was a favorite pastime. It also seemed to be about as easy getting Simon worked up.
He was still grinning as he took a bite of some genuine potatoes, complete with butter. If this wasn’t one of their best meals, he couldn’t wait to find out what they considered a good meal.
“The canned protein you talked about, it sounds very efficient, Jayne,” Teyla said before she turned to John. “Is this not like a Meal Ready to Eat?”
“Sounds more like a Powerbar. Everything you need to live, technically, but they don’t always taste great,” John shrugged.
“It’s like I just said. All that a person needs to live and dependin’ on what you do with it, it sometimes tastes like ass. It ain’t that ruttin’ complicated,” Jayne drawled out.
“You have any of that protein stuff on your ship? I want to know if it’s as bad as you say it is,” Ronon asked.
“It ain’t my ship, but yeah, I can get a can or two from it for you to try out. Hell, I can go right now, if you like. I’m done eatin’.”
“No citrus! They do come with labels, right? You don’t know about my deathly allergy to...” Rodney started to babble when John cut him off.
“Rodney! I’ll go with Jayne, make sure he doesn’t get lost and pick something that doesn’t have any citrus.”
It only took a few minutes for Jayne and John to make their way to Serenity and back to the cafeteria, each carrying a couple cans. Jayne sat down while John grabbed an empty tray and a couple of spoons before rejoining everyone at the table. Rodney picked up one of the cans and examined it.
“The canning process appears to be remarkably similar to current technology. I need to take one of these to the lab and run some tests,” Rodney muttered, examining the label. “This is Chinese, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, lots of things are written in Chinese.”
“Well, what does it say?” Rodney demanded.
Jayne took the can and pointed to various characters. “This says ‘Blue Sun’, the company that makes this stuff. This says that it’s pork flavor, an’ all this says how good it tastes an’ how good it is for a body.”
Jayne watched as the others looked over the rest of the cans on the table. Teyla picked up one can and looked at it, turning it over in her hands.
“What flavor is this one? I do not recognize the English on the label,” Teyla said as she handed the can to Jayne.
“Chocolate.”
“Cool. Let’s try it out,” John said as he went to find a can opener.
Jayne watched as John scooped the contents of the can on to the empty tray and everyone sampled it. He didn’t even bother to hold back a laugh at the faces everyone made. He’d already had some of their chocolate and knew how bad that stuff tasted compared to the Hershey’s someone gave him.