here are my thoughts
Ok, so these past 7 months have been a complete rollar coaster ride for me and its not even close to being over with....let me list some of the things in order
I lost a good friend because of stupidity
My grandfather pasted away a week later
My brother graduated from college and then moved away
I regained the friend(thats good)
Did absolutly horrible in school and are on prohabation
My aunt got cancer and has had several surgeries in the past months
another aunt had surgery for something else
Me dropping alot of classes because of these situations
Lost that same friend cause of stupidity on my part again and this time for good...STUPID ME
Finding out my grandma has cancer
Finding out my mom might have another bypass(heart surgery)
Me finding out my grandma has cancer happend on friday and same with my mom's whole thing....I really don't think i can take much more of this stuff...I mean it all happens over this period...Thats only half the stuff or should i say important stuff that i care about so much...I am just so stressed out its not even funny...But i never show when i am angry or down or anything like that...I am always putting up a front...There is so many people i care about that will be there and are there it just i hate to put all my problems on them...These past few days i have been feeling so lousy and just don't know what to do with myself...My grandma if she has surgery for the cancer i don't think will make it out of the surgery...i know its bad to say it but i just don't see it happening...I don't know what to do anymore and i am doing what alot of people do in a way...they go to smoking and i go to chewing...i know its bad but to all the people that are concerned i am sorry, really am...I don't mean it as an insult or anything to you by not stopping from doing it...So much stuff that i have never dealed with in my life and all of a sudden everything is here at me at once...But to those who stay by my side i thank you so much.
This weekend i realize how much i was an asshole to a certain somebody...It was totally immature of me to do what i did...I am not blaming it on anything except stupidity cause i know that happens alot with me...
I also realize that i will be even worst if the two things i fear this up coming week come true...they are my mom needing surgery and so does my grandma...and i will find one out tomorrow and another later this week...Besides the fact that i will be working the next 8 days straigh is gonna be a pain in my ass i won't have much to think about...Another thing stressing me out is i was told that i need to be at 225 next year for hockey....Thats dropping close to 60 pounds by october....I need help with that...That just brought me down cause it doesn't seem like a goal i can reach at all....MAN can't these shit stop...I have stoppend drinking pop and i will have a beer now and then but besides that i stopped that...I guess i have to make sacrific's to do things i love and things to keep me sane...Those are just some of my thoughts, just got alot more that are still WAY to confusing for me....LEave it
I lost a good friend because of stupidity
My grandfather pasted away a week later
My brother graduated from college and then moved away
I regained the friend(thats good)
Did absolutly horrible in school and are on prohabation
My aunt got cancer and has had several surgeries in the past months
another aunt had surgery for something else
Me dropping alot of classes because of these situations
Lost that same friend cause of stupidity on my part again and this time for good...STUPID ME
Finding out my grandma has cancer
Finding out my mom might have another bypass(heart surgery)
Me finding out my grandma has cancer happend on friday and same with my mom's whole thing....I really don't think i can take much more of this stuff...I mean it all happens over this period...Thats only half the stuff or should i say important stuff that i care about so much...I am just so stressed out its not even funny...But i never show when i am angry or down or anything like that...I am always putting up a front...There is so many people i care about that will be there and are there it just i hate to put all my problems on them...These past few days i have been feeling so lousy and just don't know what to do with myself...My grandma if she has surgery for the cancer i don't think will make it out of the surgery...i know its bad to say it but i just don't see it happening...I don't know what to do anymore and i am doing what alot of people do in a way...they go to smoking and i go to chewing...i know its bad but to all the people that are concerned i am sorry, really am...I don't mean it as an insult or anything to you by not stopping from doing it...So much stuff that i have never dealed with in my life and all of a sudden everything is here at me at once...But to those who stay by my side i thank you so much.
This weekend i realize how much i was an asshole to a certain somebody...It was totally immature of me to do what i did...I am not blaming it on anything except stupidity cause i know that happens alot with me...
I also realize that i will be even worst if the two things i fear this up coming week come true...they are my mom needing surgery and so does my grandma...and i will find one out tomorrow and another later this week...Besides the fact that i will be working the next 8 days straigh is gonna be a pain in my ass i won't have much to think about...Another thing stressing me out is i was told that i need to be at 225 next year for hockey....Thats dropping close to 60 pounds by october....I need help with that...That just brought me down cause it doesn't seem like a goal i can reach at all....MAN can't these shit stop...I have stoppend drinking pop and i will have a beer now and then but besides that i stopped that...I guess i have to make sacrific's to do things i love and things to keep me sane...Those are just some of my thoughts, just got alot more that are still WAY to confusing for me....LEave it