(no subject)
Title: Christmas fic
Characters: Random members of La Selección
Word Count: 2,729
Rating: PG. Swearing, but that's about it.
Disclaimer: Not true. Don't know them, don't own them, etc, etc. You know the drill.
Author's Notes: Written by me (rhetoricwords ) and the awesome possum frecklesandink . A big THANK YOU to all of you, for reading our fics and for always commenting. It makes us glad. :) So here is some Christmas fic. A bit different from we've written before. But we hope you like it all the same. MERRY CHRISTMAS, PRETTIES. ♥
(And also, 100+ members?! ASDFGBINTYUBHJGF Best. Gift. Ever.)
* You can all thank the awesome desrosiers_sp for indulging us with the picture at the end. Pictorial proof ftw.
barcaboy4= Cesc Fàbregas // torrero15= Sergio Ramos // guitar9hero= Fernando Torres // iker1= Íker Casillas // dvilla= David Villa // r_gonzalez7= Raúl // huakeen= Joaquín // xabialonso= Errr...
From: torrero15@hotmail.com
Subject: ANNUAL CHRISTMAS PARTY
Hello!
Its time for our annual christmas party and this time YOU ARE ALL HELPING. I refuse to do everything by myself. So yes, Nando, you will be doing things. And yes, you, Xabi, Cesc and Pepe are getting your asses down here because we sure as hell are not coming to that godforsaken country with its horrible weather. You can all stop being lame and visit your families while you’re here.
SO. Ideas? I was thinking of doing Secret Santa, and everyone can bring a dish and other fun things. Brainstorm ideas!
xoxo,
Sergio
P.S. Raul, can you make sure Iker checks his email?
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: WHAT ANNUAL CHRISTMAS PARTY?!
First I’ve heard of it. I don’t want to come. it sounds like too much work.
From: barcaboy4@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: WHAT ANNUAL CHRISTMAS PARTY?!
yea,srsly. wat r u tlkng abt? i’ve nvr heard of it b4.
From: r_gonzalez7@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: ANNUAL CHRISTMAS PARTY
Cesc- Isn’t it time you change your e-mail I.D.? I keep thinking Messi is messaging me.
Sergio- David and Cesc are right. What annual Christmas party? And I told Íker, but he rolled his eyes at me and he said to tell you something, but it’s rather unsavoury so I would rather not.
From: barcaboy4@hotmail.com
Subject: BARCABOY4 4EVR KTHX
raul; uhmm, no. messi sux, was my idea first, he’s a n00b. nd LOLOLOL. i bet iker told u 2 stick things in certain places, sergio.
From: xabialonso@hotmail.com
Subject: Annual Christmas Party
Can everyone stop abusing the Caps lock button? And Sergio, what are you talking about and do we HAVE to come?
From: torrero15@hotmail.com
Subject: ANNUAL CHRISTMAS PARTY
OKAY, LISTEN UP! Everyone can just stop complaining right now, because no matter what you say, youre not getting out of it. This christmas party is important, and we don’t have enough team spirit as it is, so youre all coming whether you want to or not. Now I need ideas as to what we’re going to do. I’m leaning towards a fancy dress party atm. Anyone had one? Tell me how it goes/went/etc?
P.s. Cesc, stop using this as an excuse to tell everyone how much messi sucks
From: xabialonso@hotmail.com
Subject: Annual Christmas Party
We had one at Liverpool. I was Mr. Incredible.
From: barcaboy4@hotmail.com
Subject: BWAHAHA WTF
xabi, thts wat u were suppzd 2 b? I tht u were a cheap ripoff of the orange guy frm fan. 4 XDDDD
From: iker1@hotmail.com
Subject: Annual Christmas Party
We should have a fancy dress party. Give Fernando an excuse to dress in his normal attire.
From: guitar9hero@hotmail.com
Subject: Annual Christmas Party
Oh yeah, youre a real riot iker. I’m guessing youre going to dye your hair blonde, get some fake tattos and come as a twat?
From: barcaboy4@hotmail.com
Subject: Annual Christmas Party
now u jst gettng mean, nando.
*
guitar9hero: sergio, srsly. is this idea going to work?
torrero15: it will. we all need 2 get together again. we;ve turned in2 a bunch of squabbling women
guitar9hero: speak for yourself
torerro15: plz just help mw with this?
torerro15: *me
guitar9hero: fine. what do you want me to do?
torerro15: if were going 2 do a fancy dress, make sure everyne is organized with their outfits
guitar9hero: you do know i dont live in madrid anymore. how the fuck am i supposed to do that?
torerro15: its called technoloy, nando. use it.
*
From: barcaboy4@hotmail.com
Subject: Annual Christmas Party
i wana go as superman!
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: bwahahahahaa cesc
re: title.
From: barcaboy4@hotmail.com
Subject: re: bwahahahahaa cesc
go fck urself, vila. just cos valencia r doing shit and arsenal are top of the table, dun take it out on me.
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subject: re: bwahahahahaa cesc
Oh, now that was low.
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: re: bwahahahahaa cesc
i’ll say. let’s cut his hair off next NT meeting.
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subject: re: bwahahahahaa cesc
i like the sounds of that.
From: barcaboy4@hotmail.com
Subject: re: bwahahahahaa cesc
:o IKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*
iker1: so.
xabialonso: si?
iker1: can you see this christmas thing working out?
xabialonso: not really. i'll give sergio points for trying, though.
iker1: i feel bad because i can see this gonig up in smoke, and he'll be so upset when it does
xabialonso: he's a big boy. he can take care of himself. and he has fernando to take care of him as well.
iker1: yeah. because he's doing such a good job
xabialonso: you should give fernando more credit. he's a good kid.
iker1: i know. he's just a shithead.
xabialonso: haha.
iker1: i saw the pictures from chelsea's christmas party. frank lampard had fishnets on.
xabialonso: those cockneys get up to strange things, si?
iker1: si.
*
From: barcaboy4@hotmail.com
Subject: ques???
r we allwd 2 bring ppl? can i brng robin?
From: torrero15@hotmail.com
Subject: NO.
Because we are doing this for team spirit, and we do not need to see you being all lovey dovey with some foreigner.
From: barcaboy4@hotmail.com
Subject: u suck
no fair. u get 2 brng nando!
From: guitar9hero@hotmail.com
Subject: Do we have to invite Cesc?
He doesn’t get to BRING me. I’m on the team.
*points to subject* Anyone agree?
From: torrero15@hotmail.com
Subject: Shut up, both of you.
Nando, he’s coming.
WHO ELSE IS COMING?
No, wait, I’m not giving you guys the option. You’re all coming.
Who’s bringing what to the party?
*
dvilla: we don’t have to bring gifts, do we?
torrero15: yes, but just one. It’s secret santa.
dvilla: how the fuck are we supposed to do that?
torrero15: pick names out of a hat and bring a present for that person?
dvilla: what about the players who flounced off to england?
*torrero15 is offline*
torrero15: nando?
guitar9hero: is this about the christmas party?
torrero15: ???
guitar9hero: i may or may not be busy depending on your answer.
guitar9hero: sergio?
guirar9hero: i was just kidding!
*torrero15 is offline*
torrero15: cesc, i need your help.
barcaboy4: ‘sup?
torrero15: …what?
barcaboy4: nvm. wat do u need help w/?
torrero15: i wanted to do secret snata but I don’t know how I’m going to do that since everyone’s scattered across uerope.
torrero15: *santa
barcaboy4: so wat? u pick d names nd tell evry1 who they got.
torrero15: *europe
barcaboy4: ROFL. ur typos srsly make my day, sergio. <33333333
torrero15: what do you mean, “i pick”?
barcaboy4: idk. go ask nando or smthn
torrero15: i can’t. he’s not helping.
barcaboy4: LOLOLOL. trouble in paradise, BBL? ;)
torrero15: i don’t even know what that means.
barcaboy4: LULZ. just write every1’s names down nd just pick 1 4 evry1 nd email ppl individually.
torrero15: …that’s actually a good idea.
barcaboy4: yus. coz i r smart kthx.
barcaboy4: do it now nd pick some1 4 me.
torrero15: okay…hold on.
barcaboy4: U R SLOOOOOW.
barcaboy4: i wld’ve been done by now.
barcaboy4: wtf r u doing?! jst pick a name!
torrero15: …u got xabi.
barcaboy4: wedfugjtyvgyhvedrfgub!!!!! AWESOME POSSUM. make sure iker gets me?
torrero15: no, that wouldn’t be fair.
barcaboy4: i’ll throw a fit if u or nando get each other.
*
From: torrero15@hotmail.com
Subject: Your secret santas!
I just e-mailed everyone who they have to buy a present for, so start shopping! And don’t be cheap. You all can afford good gifts, we all know that. Have fun!
From: xabialonso@hotmail.com
Subject: Uhhhh…
Doesn’t it ruin the surprise since you know I have you?
From: torrero15@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Uhhh…
Nope! I want toe socks please. And other things, but toe socks!!!
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Secret Santas
I got Raul. Who’d you get?
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: Want to switch?
Cesc.
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subjects: AHAHAHA. NO!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
barcaboy4: cmon sergiiii, tel me
torerro15: no cesc. go away. im busy.
barcaboy4: doin wat sactly? luukin up porn? im telling nando
torerro15: wtf?!
barcaboy4: PLZ SERGIO! TELL ME WHO GOT ME!
torerro15: do you not understand wat SECRET SANTA means?! its SECRET!
barcaboy4: fernando said 2 me that ur bad in bed. just so u kno.
*barcaboy4 signed off*
*
From: guitar9hero@hotmail.com
Subject: errr…
sergio, you have got to be kidding me. giving me íker is like giving cesc...íker.
From: torerro15@hotmail.com
Subject: re: errr…
no, its really not. :D
From: guitar9hero@hotmail.com
Subject: errr…
Hayyy David…?
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: if it’s about swapping secret santas, then yes.
Re: subject
From: guitar9hero@hotmail.com
Subject: re: if it’s about swapping secret santas, then yes.
Really?!
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: yes, really.
Re: subject
From: guitar9hero@hotmail.com
Subject: re: if it’s about swapping secret santas, then yes.
Is it below you to actually write an email?
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: i am david villa, bitch. everything is below me.
Re: subject
From: guitar9hero@hotmail.com
Subject: re: i am david villa, bitch. everything is below me.
i guess that answers our questions abour joaquín being a bottom.
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: for that, you’re keeping íker.
Re: subject
From: guitar9hero@hotmail.com
Subject: re: for that, you’re keeping íker.
fuck.
*
guitar9hero: david!
dvilla: no.
guitar9hero: cmon pleaaaasee?!
dvilla: no.
guitar9hero: i promise ill be nice to you foreverrrrr!
dvilla: no.
guitar9hero: i'll let you take all the pens and wont complain!
dvilla: bullshit. you, not complain? stop the world from turning.
guitar9hero: go fuck yourself!
dvilla: don't mind if i do. ;D
guitar9hero: now i know where cesc gets it.
*
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subject: uh oh.
Does Raúl have an email address?
From: guitar9hero@hotmail.com
Subject: re: uh oh.
Ask his pet.
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subject: re: uh oh.
Who is?
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subject: hello????
Nando????
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subject: You’re useless.
I should’ve known not to ask you. Waste of space.
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subject: Fuckfuckfuck.
So…I got Raul’s gift. I think he’ll like it.
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: Stop bitching about your nonexistent problems
Raúl is probably the easiest person you could have gotten. I got fucking CESC. So shut up.
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subject: Is it that time of the month or are you being a bitch for nothing?
As if Cesc wouldn’t be content with a paper airplane…and for god’s sake, DON’T actually get him that. I’m just saying. He’s like a 10-year-old, anything pleases him.
From: r_gonzalez7@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Secret Santas
Sergio…I really have no idea what to get David.
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: You shouldn’t have hit ‘Reply All’
I need new shoes. :D
From: torrero15@hotmail.com
Subject: Annual Christmas Party
Alright, the party is this weekend. DON’T FORGET YOUR GIFTS. If you do, the person who you’re supposed to give a gift to gets YOUR gift. Be on time. And you English yuppies, give yourself enough time to get here. Don’t be stupid and fly in on the day of (CESC).
My laptop is acting up so I won’t be around much, so this is my last email. It’s going to be fun! :D
Xoxo,
Sergio
P.S. I invited a journalist friend of mine, and he agreed to do an article. So all of you better behave.
*
iker1: i'm fucked
xabialonso: why?
barcaboy4: LOLOL. wat happend?
dvilla: ???
iker1: my gift. i ordered it online and it's still not here yet.
guitar9hero: ...
barcaboy4: MY GIFT GOT LOST IN THE MAIL?! D: D: D:
iker1: for the last time, cesc, i don't have you.
xabialonso: i didn't know you knew how to shop online.
huakeen: hahaha...he doesn't apparently. since its lost.
iker1: i didn't say it was lost, i just said it wasn't here yet.
barcaboy4: LULZ. sergio's goin 2 take ur gift nd give it 2 whoevr u got.
guitar9hero: i'm sure sergio will understand if you let him know why.
iker1: uhmm...what?
dvilla: ...no, he won't.
xabialonso: honestly nando. he's gone crazy planning this. he needs everything 2 be perfect.
barcaboy4: ROFL. sergio's goin 2 cut a bitch
iker1: i'm worried because i'm actually starting to understand what cesc is saying here
xabialonso: oh my god. did i type out '2' instead of 'to'?!
barcaboy4: EMBRACE TEH N3+5P34K!!!!!!
dvilla: i don't know what the fuck u guys are talking abt, but is anyone concerned about this journalist friend he's invited?
barcaboy4: no...y shld we?
huakeen: because...a story on our national team? i mean...REALLY?
dvilla: think of all the shit that might come out.
barcaboy4: lyk how joaquín got his nails painted? XD
huakeen: sure...or maybe how you kissed aragones.
barcaboy4: wae8u6rt6edfujbthvyghvknthg STFU!!!!!!!!!!
iker1: all of you shut up. no one's going to say anything. we are all going to be on our best behaviour.
xabialonso: yes. for sergio.
barcaboy4: i g2g. but do we still hve 2 wear a costume or wat?
guitar9hero: yup.
barcaboy4: thx. c u @ the party. <33333333
~barcaboy4 has left the conversation~
iker1: ....
xabialonso: sergio told me he thought that it would be too tiring to arrange it so he decided not to have us dress up?
huakeen: yea...did he change his mind?
guitar9hero: nope.
dvilla: but you just said...
guitar9hero: i know. :D
iker1: ohh, you bad.
*
Christmas Eve à La Selección
Out of all the things I pictured to be doing on the night before Christmas Eve, attending the Christmas party of La Selección was the furthest thing from my mind. Sergio Ramos, the 21-year-old defender for Real Madrid, sent me a mass invite over MSN (“We talk to each other over MSN constantly. It’s hilarious the conversations we have.” Sergio informed me), detailing the time, place, and in huge block letters across the bottom: DON’T FORGET YOUR SECRET SANTA PRESENT! Amused, I organized a photographer to accompany me, and left.
On arrival, Cesc Fàbregas opened the door dressed as Superman. Glowering once he found out who I was, and as my photographer took a snap, he begged me not to run it. As a journalist, I make no promises. Sergio greeted me, all hugs and shinyness, and guided me through into the kitchen, giving me a glass of Sangria. Luis García eyed it distastefully, a bottle of water in his clutches. “I hate Sangria, to be honest,” he replied, when I asked whether the English were right about him. Surprise on my face, he continued. “And I’m actually 5’6”. But the song was very catchy, no?”
Catchy indeed.
The rest of the team were found scattered throughout the house. It was a pleasant surprise to run into Raúl, who was nursing a glass of orange juice, along with Xabi Alonso. When asked whether their drinking habits were always along those lines, Alonso simply smiled and replied, “No, but we’re here to keep the peace when the others inevitably get drunk.”
It certainly sounded like a promising evening. When asking the other members who was most likely to do something silly by the end of the night, the answer was unanimous: the young Cesc Fàbregas seemed to be a timebomb waiting to happen. It was hardly surprising considering he was the only one in costume. Something Fernando Torres was kind enough to explain to me, apparent Fàbregas had had a prank played on him. To his credit though, aside from not wanting us to print the pictures, he did seem to be taking it in stride.
The high point of the night was when the gift giving happened. The most interesting gift was perhaps when Íker Casillas presented Sergio with a blow up doll, and a crack was made about Torres’ bedroom prowess, which turned the striker red in the face. Fàbregas appeared to have better luck, receiving the highly sought after Guitar Hero game from Valencia’s David Villa. The midfielder’s satisfied expression didn’t last very long, as the team decided to hold a Guitar Hero showdown.
After winning against Torres and Casillas, Fàbregas wasn’t the only one who was surprised to be shut down by none other than Xabi Alonso. That wasn’t the end of it either. Alonso was then promptly brought down by Raúl, who was ultimately named the Guitar Hero champion after remaining unbeaten after playing Fàbregas, Luis García and Villa.
As the night wore on spirits were high and no one could say that La Selección lacked team spirit. Despite Alonso and Raúl’s predictions, all of the players appeared to be holding down their alcohol well. However, they were all still at it when I decided to leave.
In the end, it was a most memorable night, one that I'm sure none will get over thanks to the immense curse of hangovers, nor forget, or live down any time soon, especially Fàbregas, who agreed to letting us print his pictures.
Page 5 for pictures of Fàbregas dressed up as Superman, and other pictures from the party.
~ FIN
Characters: Random members of La Selección
Word Count: 2,729
Rating: PG. Swearing, but that's about it.
Disclaimer: Not true. Don't know them, don't own them, etc, etc. You know the drill.
Author's Notes: Written by me (rhetoricwords ) and the awesome possum frecklesandink . A big THANK YOU to all of you, for reading our fics and for always commenting. It makes us glad. :) So here is some Christmas fic. A bit different from we've written before. But we hope you like it all the same. MERRY CHRISTMAS, PRETTIES. ♥
(And also, 100+ members?! ASDFGBINTYUBHJGF Best. Gift. Ever.)
* You can all thank the awesome desrosiers_sp for indulging us with the picture at the end. Pictorial proof ftw.
barcaboy4= Cesc Fàbregas // torrero15= Sergio Ramos // guitar9hero= Fernando Torres // iker1= Íker Casillas // dvilla= David Villa // r_gonzalez7= Raúl // huakeen= Joaquín // xabialonso= Errr...
From: torrero15@hotmail.com
Subject: ANNUAL CHRISTMAS PARTY
Hello!
Its time for our annual christmas party and this time YOU ARE ALL HELPING. I refuse to do everything by myself. So yes, Nando, you will be doing things. And yes, you, Xabi, Cesc and Pepe are getting your asses down here because we sure as hell are not coming to that godforsaken country with its horrible weather. You can all stop being lame and visit your families while you’re here.
SO. Ideas? I was thinking of doing Secret Santa, and everyone can bring a dish and other fun things. Brainstorm ideas!
xoxo,
Sergio
P.S. Raul, can you make sure Iker checks his email?
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: WHAT ANNUAL CHRISTMAS PARTY?!
First I’ve heard of it. I don’t want to come. it sounds like too much work.
From: barcaboy4@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: WHAT ANNUAL CHRISTMAS PARTY?!
yea,srsly. wat r u tlkng abt? i’ve nvr heard of it b4.
From: r_gonzalez7@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: ANNUAL CHRISTMAS PARTY
Cesc- Isn’t it time you change your e-mail I.D.? I keep thinking Messi is messaging me.
Sergio- David and Cesc are right. What annual Christmas party? And I told Íker, but he rolled his eyes at me and he said to tell you something, but it’s rather unsavoury so I would rather not.
From: barcaboy4@hotmail.com
Subject: BARCABOY4 4EVR KTHX
raul; uhmm, no. messi sux, was my idea first, he’s a n00b. nd LOLOLOL. i bet iker told u 2 stick things in certain places, sergio.
From: xabialonso@hotmail.com
Subject: Annual Christmas Party
Can everyone stop abusing the Caps lock button? And Sergio, what are you talking about and do we HAVE to come?
From: torrero15@hotmail.com
Subject: ANNUAL CHRISTMAS PARTY
OKAY, LISTEN UP! Everyone can just stop complaining right now, because no matter what you say, youre not getting out of it. This christmas party is important, and we don’t have enough team spirit as it is, so youre all coming whether you want to or not. Now I need ideas as to what we’re going to do. I’m leaning towards a fancy dress party atm. Anyone had one? Tell me how it goes/went/etc?
P.s. Cesc, stop using this as an excuse to tell everyone how much messi sucks
From: xabialonso@hotmail.com
Subject: Annual Christmas Party
We had one at Liverpool. I was Mr. Incredible.
From: barcaboy4@hotmail.com
Subject: BWAHAHA WTF
xabi, thts wat u were suppzd 2 b? I tht u were a cheap ripoff of the orange guy frm fan. 4 XDDDD
From: iker1@hotmail.com
Subject: Annual Christmas Party
We should have a fancy dress party. Give Fernando an excuse to dress in his normal attire.
From: guitar9hero@hotmail.com
Subject: Annual Christmas Party
Oh yeah, youre a real riot iker. I’m guessing youre going to dye your hair blonde, get some fake tattos and come as a twat?
From: barcaboy4@hotmail.com
Subject: Annual Christmas Party
now u jst gettng mean, nando.
*
guitar9hero: sergio, srsly. is this idea going to work?
torrero15: it will. we all need 2 get together again. we;ve turned in2 a bunch of squabbling women
guitar9hero: speak for yourself
torerro15: plz just help mw with this?
torerro15: *me
guitar9hero: fine. what do you want me to do?
torerro15: if were going 2 do a fancy dress, make sure everyne is organized with their outfits
guitar9hero: you do know i dont live in madrid anymore. how the fuck am i supposed to do that?
torerro15: its called technoloy, nando. use it.
*
From: barcaboy4@hotmail.com
Subject: Annual Christmas Party
i wana go as superman!
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: bwahahahahaa cesc
re: title.
From: barcaboy4@hotmail.com
Subject: re: bwahahahahaa cesc
go fck urself, vila. just cos valencia r doing shit and arsenal are top of the table, dun take it out on me.
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subject: re: bwahahahahaa cesc
Oh, now that was low.
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: re: bwahahahahaa cesc
i’ll say. let’s cut his hair off next NT meeting.
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subject: re: bwahahahahaa cesc
i like the sounds of that.
From: barcaboy4@hotmail.com
Subject: re: bwahahahahaa cesc
:o IKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*
iker1: so.
xabialonso: si?
iker1: can you see this christmas thing working out?
xabialonso: not really. i'll give sergio points for trying, though.
iker1: i feel bad because i can see this gonig up in smoke, and he'll be so upset when it does
xabialonso: he's a big boy. he can take care of himself. and he has fernando to take care of him as well.
iker1: yeah. because he's doing such a good job
xabialonso: you should give fernando more credit. he's a good kid.
iker1: i know. he's just a shithead.
xabialonso: haha.
iker1: i saw the pictures from chelsea's christmas party. frank lampard had fishnets on.
xabialonso: those cockneys get up to strange things, si?
iker1: si.
*
From: barcaboy4@hotmail.com
Subject: ques???
r we allwd 2 bring ppl? can i brng robin?
From: torrero15@hotmail.com
Subject: NO.
Because we are doing this for team spirit, and we do not need to see you being all lovey dovey with some foreigner.
From: barcaboy4@hotmail.com
Subject: u suck
no fair. u get 2 brng nando!
From: guitar9hero@hotmail.com
Subject: Do we have to invite Cesc?
He doesn’t get to BRING me. I’m on the team.
*points to subject* Anyone agree?
From: torrero15@hotmail.com
Subject: Shut up, both of you.
Nando, he’s coming.
WHO ELSE IS COMING?
No, wait, I’m not giving you guys the option. You’re all coming.
Who’s bringing what to the party?
*
dvilla: we don’t have to bring gifts, do we?
torrero15: yes, but just one. It’s secret santa.
dvilla: how the fuck are we supposed to do that?
torrero15: pick names out of a hat and bring a present for that person?
dvilla: what about the players who flounced off to england?
*torrero15 is offline*
torrero15: nando?
guitar9hero: is this about the christmas party?
torrero15: ???
guitar9hero: i may or may not be busy depending on your answer.
guitar9hero: sergio?
guirar9hero: i was just kidding!
*torrero15 is offline*
torrero15: cesc, i need your help.
barcaboy4: ‘sup?
torrero15: …what?
barcaboy4: nvm. wat do u need help w/?
torrero15: i wanted to do secret snata but I don’t know how I’m going to do that since everyone’s scattered across uerope.
torrero15: *santa
barcaboy4: so wat? u pick d names nd tell evry1 who they got.
torrero15: *europe
barcaboy4: ROFL. ur typos srsly make my day, sergio. <33333333
torrero15: what do you mean, “i pick”?
barcaboy4: idk. go ask nando or smthn
torrero15: i can’t. he’s not helping.
barcaboy4: LOLOLOL. trouble in paradise, BBL? ;)
torrero15: i don’t even know what that means.
barcaboy4: LULZ. just write every1’s names down nd just pick 1 4 evry1 nd email ppl individually.
torrero15: …that’s actually a good idea.
barcaboy4: yus. coz i r smart kthx.
barcaboy4: do it now nd pick some1 4 me.
torrero15: okay…hold on.
barcaboy4: U R SLOOOOOW.
barcaboy4: i wld’ve been done by now.
barcaboy4: wtf r u doing?! jst pick a name!
torrero15: …u got xabi.
barcaboy4: wedfugjtyvgyhvedrfgub!!!!! AWESOME POSSUM. make sure iker gets me?
torrero15: no, that wouldn’t be fair.
barcaboy4: i’ll throw a fit if u or nando get each other.
*
From: torrero15@hotmail.com
Subject: Your secret santas!
I just e-mailed everyone who they have to buy a present for, so start shopping! And don’t be cheap. You all can afford good gifts, we all know that. Have fun!
From: xabialonso@hotmail.com
Subject: Uhhhh…
Doesn’t it ruin the surprise since you know I have you?
From: torrero15@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Uhhh…
Nope! I want toe socks please. And other things, but toe socks!!!
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Secret Santas
I got Raul. Who’d you get?
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: Want to switch?
Cesc.
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subjects: AHAHAHA. NO!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
barcaboy4: cmon sergiiii, tel me
torerro15: no cesc. go away. im busy.
barcaboy4: doin wat sactly? luukin up porn? im telling nando
torerro15: wtf?!
barcaboy4: PLZ SERGIO! TELL ME WHO GOT ME!
torerro15: do you not understand wat SECRET SANTA means?! its SECRET!
barcaboy4: fernando said 2 me that ur bad in bed. just so u kno.
*barcaboy4 signed off*
*
From: guitar9hero@hotmail.com
Subject: errr…
sergio, you have got to be kidding me. giving me íker is like giving cesc...íker.
From: torerro15@hotmail.com
Subject: re: errr…
no, its really not. :D
From: guitar9hero@hotmail.com
Subject: errr…
Hayyy David…?
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: if it’s about swapping secret santas, then yes.
Re: subject
From: guitar9hero@hotmail.com
Subject: re: if it’s about swapping secret santas, then yes.
Really?!
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: yes, really.
Re: subject
From: guitar9hero@hotmail.com
Subject: re: if it’s about swapping secret santas, then yes.
Is it below you to actually write an email?
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: i am david villa, bitch. everything is below me.
Re: subject
From: guitar9hero@hotmail.com
Subject: re: i am david villa, bitch. everything is below me.
i guess that answers our questions abour joaquín being a bottom.
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: for that, you’re keeping íker.
Re: subject
From: guitar9hero@hotmail.com
Subject: re: for that, you’re keeping íker.
fuck.
*
guitar9hero: david!
dvilla: no.
guitar9hero: cmon pleaaaasee?!
dvilla: no.
guitar9hero: i promise ill be nice to you foreverrrrr!
dvilla: no.
guitar9hero: i'll let you take all the pens and wont complain!
dvilla: bullshit. you, not complain? stop the world from turning.
guitar9hero: go fuck yourself!
dvilla: don't mind if i do. ;D
guitar9hero: now i know where cesc gets it.
*
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subject: uh oh.
Does Raúl have an email address?
From: guitar9hero@hotmail.com
Subject: re: uh oh.
Ask his pet.
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subject: re: uh oh.
Who is?
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subject: hello????
Nando????
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subject: You’re useless.
I should’ve known not to ask you. Waste of space.
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subject: Fuckfuckfuck.
So…I got Raul’s gift. I think he’ll like it.
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: Stop bitching about your nonexistent problems
Raúl is probably the easiest person you could have gotten. I got fucking CESC. So shut up.
From: huakeen@hotmail.com
Subject: Is it that time of the month or are you being a bitch for nothing?
As if Cesc wouldn’t be content with a paper airplane…and for god’s sake, DON’T actually get him that. I’m just saying. He’s like a 10-year-old, anything pleases him.
From: r_gonzalez7@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Secret Santas
Sergio…I really have no idea what to get David.
From: dvilla@hotmail.com
Subject: You shouldn’t have hit ‘Reply All’
I need new shoes. :D
From: torrero15@hotmail.com
Subject: Annual Christmas Party
Alright, the party is this weekend. DON’T FORGET YOUR GIFTS. If you do, the person who you’re supposed to give a gift to gets YOUR gift. Be on time. And you English yuppies, give yourself enough time to get here. Don’t be stupid and fly in on the day of (CESC).
My laptop is acting up so I won’t be around much, so this is my last email. It’s going to be fun! :D
Xoxo,
Sergio
P.S. I invited a journalist friend of mine, and he agreed to do an article. So all of you better behave.
*
iker1: i'm fucked
xabialonso: why?
barcaboy4: LOLOL. wat happend?
dvilla: ???
iker1: my gift. i ordered it online and it's still not here yet.
guitar9hero: ...
barcaboy4: MY GIFT GOT LOST IN THE MAIL?! D: D: D:
iker1: for the last time, cesc, i don't have you.
xabialonso: i didn't know you knew how to shop online.
huakeen: hahaha...he doesn't apparently. since its lost.
iker1: i didn't say it was lost, i just said it wasn't here yet.
barcaboy4: LULZ. sergio's goin 2 take ur gift nd give it 2 whoevr u got.
guitar9hero: i'm sure sergio will understand if you let him know why.
iker1: uhmm...what?
dvilla: ...no, he won't.
xabialonso: honestly nando. he's gone crazy planning this. he needs everything 2 be perfect.
barcaboy4: ROFL. sergio's goin 2 cut a bitch
iker1: i'm worried because i'm actually starting to understand what cesc is saying here
xabialonso: oh my god. did i type out '2' instead of 'to'?!
barcaboy4: EMBRACE TEH N3+5P34K!!!!!!
dvilla: i don't know what the fuck u guys are talking abt, but is anyone concerned about this journalist friend he's invited?
barcaboy4: no...y shld we?
huakeen: because...a story on our national team? i mean...REALLY?
dvilla: think of all the shit that might come out.
barcaboy4: lyk how joaquín got his nails painted? XD
huakeen: sure...or maybe how you kissed aragones.
barcaboy4: wae8u6rt6edfujbthvyghvknthg STFU!!!!!!!!!!
iker1: all of you shut up. no one's going to say anything. we are all going to be on our best behaviour.
xabialonso: yes. for sergio.
barcaboy4: i g2g. but do we still hve 2 wear a costume or wat?
guitar9hero: yup.
barcaboy4: thx. c u @ the party. <33333333
~barcaboy4 has left the conversation~
iker1: ....
xabialonso: sergio told me he thought that it would be too tiring to arrange it so he decided not to have us dress up?
huakeen: yea...did he change his mind?
guitar9hero: nope.
dvilla: but you just said...
guitar9hero: i know. :D
iker1: ohh, you bad.
*
Christmas Eve à La Selección
Out of all the things I pictured to be doing on the night before Christmas Eve, attending the Christmas party of La Selección was the furthest thing from my mind. Sergio Ramos, the 21-year-old defender for Real Madrid, sent me a mass invite over MSN (“We talk to each other over MSN constantly. It’s hilarious the conversations we have.” Sergio informed me), detailing the time, place, and in huge block letters across the bottom: DON’T FORGET YOUR SECRET SANTA PRESENT! Amused, I organized a photographer to accompany me, and left.
On arrival, Cesc Fàbregas opened the door dressed as Superman. Glowering once he found out who I was, and as my photographer took a snap, he begged me not to run it. As a journalist, I make no promises. Sergio greeted me, all hugs and shinyness, and guided me through into the kitchen, giving me a glass of Sangria. Luis García eyed it distastefully, a bottle of water in his clutches. “I hate Sangria, to be honest,” he replied, when I asked whether the English were right about him. Surprise on my face, he continued. “And I’m actually 5’6”. But the song was very catchy, no?”
Catchy indeed.
The rest of the team were found scattered throughout the house. It was a pleasant surprise to run into Raúl, who was nursing a glass of orange juice, along with Xabi Alonso. When asked whether their drinking habits were always along those lines, Alonso simply smiled and replied, “No, but we’re here to keep the peace when the others inevitably get drunk.”
It certainly sounded like a promising evening. When asking the other members who was most likely to do something silly by the end of the night, the answer was unanimous: the young Cesc Fàbregas seemed to be a timebomb waiting to happen. It was hardly surprising considering he was the only one in costume. Something Fernando Torres was kind enough to explain to me, apparent Fàbregas had had a prank played on him. To his credit though, aside from not wanting us to print the pictures, he did seem to be taking it in stride.
The high point of the night was when the gift giving happened. The most interesting gift was perhaps when Íker Casillas presented Sergio with a blow up doll, and a crack was made about Torres’ bedroom prowess, which turned the striker red in the face. Fàbregas appeared to have better luck, receiving the highly sought after Guitar Hero game from Valencia’s David Villa. The midfielder’s satisfied expression didn’t last very long, as the team decided to hold a Guitar Hero showdown.
After winning against Torres and Casillas, Fàbregas wasn’t the only one who was surprised to be shut down by none other than Xabi Alonso. That wasn’t the end of it either. Alonso was then promptly brought down by Raúl, who was ultimately named the Guitar Hero champion after remaining unbeaten after playing Fàbregas, Luis García and Villa.
As the night wore on spirits were high and no one could say that La Selección lacked team spirit. Despite Alonso and Raúl’s predictions, all of the players appeared to be holding down their alcohol well. However, they were all still at it when I decided to leave.
In the end, it was a most memorable night, one that I'm sure none will get over thanks to the immense curse of hangovers, nor forget, or live down any time soon, especially Fàbregas, who agreed to letting us print his pictures.
Page 5 for pictures of Fàbregas dressed up as Superman, and other pictures from the party.
~ FIN