Back online! And: How to learn about dramatic tension from cars.
Yay! I have a new home on the web! Again. :-) But this time I am hopeful I'll be able to stay for a while. Thank you very much, rockthecliche! It's a wonderful feeling to be back online. (And do let me know about that story. *g*)
I really really *really* will finish that re-design soon. As soon as I finish the first draft of the epic. Really.
In decidedly less yay-ish news, today I nearly smoked my car's motor. It's good to know that my adrenal system is still in working order, but I do wonder how hands that are shaking so hard you're almost unable to use your cell phone are supposed to aid you in weathering crisis situations; it's clear that evolution has not yet accounted for cell phone use as a vital survival strategy. Better get on that, evolution...
It wasn't even that awful a crisis, objectively speaking. I think what really got to me was that I simply had no clue of wtf to do, while things just kept getting worse and worse in a very effective build-up of tension. In fact, I know a lot of pro authors who could stand to take lessons in building suspense from my car.
Building Dramatic Tension: An Object Lesson in One Act. Characters: Me and My Car.
My Car:
I don't feel so good. See? I'm running a temperature!
Me:
Huh. Okay, will check this when I get to work. If I remember.
My Car:
No, really, I feel HOT. My temperature is climbing at an alarming rate. Hey, are you paying attention to me?
Me:
I'm not ignoring you! But I am on the middle of the Autobahn, am I supposed to pull over right here? I'm sure you don't feel *that* bad. We can make it to the gas station, at least.
My Car:
*makes odd noises:* urggggghhhh… arggghhhh…. Really not feeling good, you know…
Me:
You're really serious, aren't you? Okay, but just hold on a bit longer, please? Because now that I'm in the middle of the really fucking huge interchange that leads into the next interchange I really can't stop anywhere at all! Just hold on, baby! We can make it!
My Car:
urggggghhhh… arggghhhh…. *graduates to knocking noises*
Me:
No! Baby, you can do it. I swear you can do it. Just hold on a little longer. Baby! Talk to me! Please, baby! Listen to me! (Yes, I honestly did say some of this out loud.)
My Car:
*steams dramatically as I coast to a stop*
Me:
!!!!!!!!
Luckily my car is a very hardy creature and has sustained only relatively minor damage (the thermostat is pining for the fjords, but the rest of the motor is still alive and kicking). Tomorrow, I discover the cost of restoring the poor abused car to health…
I really really *really* will finish that re-design soon. As soon as I finish the first draft of the epic. Really.
In decidedly less yay-ish news, today I nearly smoked my car's motor. It's good to know that my adrenal system is still in working order, but I do wonder how hands that are shaking so hard you're almost unable to use your cell phone are supposed to aid you in weathering crisis situations; it's clear that evolution has not yet accounted for cell phone use as a vital survival strategy. Better get on that, evolution...
It wasn't even that awful a crisis, objectively speaking. I think what really got to me was that I simply had no clue of wtf to do, while things just kept getting worse and worse in a very effective build-up of tension. In fact, I know a lot of pro authors who could stand to take lessons in building suspense from my car.
Building Dramatic Tension: An Object Lesson in One Act. Characters: Me and My Car.
My Car:
I don't feel so good. See? I'm running a temperature!
Me:
Huh. Okay, will check this when I get to work. If I remember.
My Car:
No, really, I feel HOT. My temperature is climbing at an alarming rate. Hey, are you paying attention to me?
Me:
I'm not ignoring you! But I am on the middle of the Autobahn, am I supposed to pull over right here? I'm sure you don't feel *that* bad. We can make it to the gas station, at least.
My Car:
*makes odd noises:* urggggghhhh… arggghhhh…. Really not feeling good, you know…
Me:
You're really serious, aren't you? Okay, but just hold on a bit longer, please? Because now that I'm in the middle of the really fucking huge interchange that leads into the next interchange I really can't stop anywhere at all! Just hold on, baby! We can make it!
My Car:
urggggghhhh… arggghhhh…. *graduates to knocking noises*
Me:
No! Baby, you can do it. I swear you can do it. Just hold on a little longer. Baby! Talk to me! Please, baby! Listen to me! (Yes, I honestly did say some of this out loud.)
My Car:
*steams dramatically as I coast to a stop*
Me:
!!!!!!!!
Luckily my car is a very hardy creature and has sustained only relatively minor damage (the thermostat is pining for the fjords, but the rest of the motor is still alive and kicking). Tomorrow, I discover the cost of restoring the poor abused car to health…