What is next?

[rheart2you]

Part of me doesn't even want to finish my grad school applications. I just don't know anymore. I was so sure of this decision. Now I'm questioning myself.

I don't know what I want out of life. I don't think I'll ever know.

I don't know if there is one career path that will make me happy. I think it is the life outside of work that will make me happy.

Would I be happy here the rest of my life? My family is here. I have a church here. I can sing in choir and chamber singers. I can teach ballet at Communities in Schools. I can maybe teach at Studio 68. I can do all of the things I'm passionate about. The only thing I'm missing-friends.

Close your eyes and picture your ideal life. Now open them and realize that life will never look like that. I'm not being negative. I'm very happy, just having to somewhat let go of dreams and fantasies. Maybe the 'ideal life' I saw was not God's plan. (Hang with me non-believers) Maybe my calling is just now being revealed to me. Maybe my path is different then I wanted it to be.

Should I just accept life how it is? Should I question the happiness that I feel?

Am I going to settle for this life because it feels right?

I could keep asking questions, but I'm not sure it will get me anywhere.