To the PsychSoc Seniors,
Where would I even start?
Part of me is in denial. Part of me longs for the company of those who have been my ates and kuyas in my home organization. PsychSoc is my home. Even in my junior year in college, the image I have of myself is the batch baby. Less than two months from now, though, I would have to change that. Actually, I’m in the process of reconstructing the image I have of myself.
I know, my words are incoherent, I’m just babbling.
I may sometimes (or often times!) be like a pesky little sister, always asking for help, calling in the middle of the night, whining and whining and whining some more. I may be clingy. I may be clingy and sometimes downright too attention-seeking. But I LOVE YOU.
I know. My flow of thoughts is unintelligible.
I don’t even know if I’m making any sense.
But then again, it all makes sense. This is the turning point in my life where I actually have to step up, to be the ate that you guys have been (and hopefully, will continually be) to me. It’s crazy how I still am a cry baby. At 19. In college. When I am about to be a senior. But you see, I have always been the sentimental one. I don’t want to go and write a message for each of you before you leave. That would just leave me crying again. Besides, it’s still too early. You guys are still here anyway, right?
The home I have come to love and find comfort in will be soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo different when you guys are gone. I have always looked up to you guys. You seem to always know what to do, always have the answers to my questions, always… just there. Just there to compliment my outfit, to listen to my rants, to go with me to casaa, to... Being around you makes me feel secure in the sense that I know you could always manage whatever it is that the Society faces, that with you around, I’m in good hands, and good company.
But then again, I wouldn’t want to put to waste the three years that you have been there for me. Well, we don’t really get to always be together naman, but you’re presence is just enough to make me feel it’s going to be ok, from the application process up to this point. If there’s one thing I owe you, that’s to show some sign of maturity. I know that I should not be overly sentimental and that I should show you a bit of courage, a flicker of growth. When you guys are gone, I know I could manage. I’ll miss the hey, are you going to study at Seattle’s tonight text messages, but I could always study with other people or on my own. When I left the boarding house and started to live in the condo alone, and I saw how I was able to maintain the place well, I wanted to share it asap to Ate Faith and our other roommates. I wanted to tell them that I am learning, that I am growing. In a way, I wanted them to be proud of me. Haha. When you guys are gone, I’ll manage. Whatever happens, I won’t leave PsychSoc. You will be proud of me, I’ll make sure of that.
PsychSoc is for strong people. I might seem weak by the number of times I have cried like a baby, but I know I am strong. I’ll carry on and try to not miss you so much. Ha ha ha!
no goodbyes :)
rhea
PS. Please don’t share parting words with me just yet, ok?