First field trip!
My little monster went on her first field trip today! (And I don't have any pictures! D: cause I wasn't there!) They went to a local farm/petting zoo and apparently had a blast!
She couldn't stop talking about it today and I was soooo so happy for her. She got to ride the horse and pet the cows. Haha, she had a blast. There were kittens and Puppies on the farm and one happened to trip and fall down (According to her, I think SHE might have tripped and fallen and is just getting her words mixed up.) She's apparently been talking about it all night.
I say "Apparently" because I went out last night.
Got to spend the evening with the wonderful ladies from my Church group. This is the LAST time we meet before the majority of the women there have had their babies. Little Jen is due in August while Shandra and Jen are due on the 7th! Andrea had her little guy in April (Premature by 2 weeks) I just find myself happy for them and excited about all the babies. >>; I'm too shy to ask Andrea about holding her little one. I want to, but I think I wanna wait till he's older.... GOSH I wanna hold babies. They're so cute and soft and snuggly. Snuggle snuggle snuggle
Annnnyways, so I got back to my folk's place at around 10:15pm and went to go pick up my kid only to realize that everyone was in bed. (oops! Late, I know!) So I let myself in the back way (Secret key!) and was on my way up to pick up little girl to take her home when my mom called me in to talk.
We've been fighting a lot lately. She wants to help me but the only way she knows how to do that is by throwing money at my problems. "Oh, you don't have emotional support, here, I'll pay for you to talk to someone." "Oh, you're feeling left out cause we never take you out with us, here's a weekend at the cabin for free." "Oh, your car isn't working, here, let's look for a new one" (that last one has been a 'promise' for the last 3 years) And it just FRUSTRATES me because I know she can be a better parent than that. I just want her to listen sometimes and no lecture me afterwards. I know I fucked up with Kevin, with Dave, with every other man in my life, I don't need to you keep ramming it down my throat woman!
We talked about relationships and she told me I shouldn't settle, that I shouldn't give up. She tells me I should go to work and meet a man there (I still haven't told her about my Crush) and how much better off I'll be when I'm working. I told her today about all the appointments coming up and how I didn't feel that I could work all the time and still be an effective parent. I have too many meetings. I have meetings fairly regularily with Pediatricians, Pediatric Ophthalmologists, Speech pathologists, Physiotherapists, Child development workers and now my own specialists too. (The lost IUD and Sleep Doctor.) I just have way too much on my plate to worry about working right now.
I stayed and we talked for more than an hour. It was good for the most part, getting some stuff off my chest, telling her how I felt about our family, about my Dad. Everything like that. I do love my Dad, he's an amazing guy. I don't want my mom and Dad to break up after my sisters are grown, and I'm really proud of them for going to counseling together, I hope the best for them.
After all was said and done I packed kiddo up and my sister came out to help me with carrying some stuff out (Clothes, toys etc.) Mom went back to bed and Mik (The older one) and I stood outside talking for a bit. I told her about my Crush and she's excited for me. Haha, in her own way I suppose. I talked to her about him for a bit and she said to me, "He sounds really good on paper. Wait till you meet him, then tell me how you feel and then /I/ have to meet him and I'll tell you if he's okay or not." So apparently my crush needs my sister's approval. As she put it, "I want an AWESOME brother-in-law, cause you deserve it." Mik and I fight on and off, some days she's this phenomenally kind, sweet person and then other days (when she doesn't get her way) she's a vindictive little c-u-....b-i-t-c-h. Seriously, sometimes I can't stand her, but for the most part she's pretty awesome.
Anyways I drove home and sat outside for 10 minutes just thinking to myself. It was good to have some quiet relaxing time with nothing going on. Now though, it's bedtime. It's good to have written this all out again. Forgot how much I sometimes need to put my thoughts on paper.
She couldn't stop talking about it today and I was soooo so happy for her. She got to ride the horse and pet the cows. Haha, she had a blast. There were kittens and Puppies on the farm and one happened to trip and fall down (According to her, I think SHE might have tripped and fallen and is just getting her words mixed up.) She's apparently been talking about it all night.
I say "Apparently" because I went out last night.
Got to spend the evening with the wonderful ladies from my Church group. This is the LAST time we meet before the majority of the women there have had their babies. Little Jen is due in August while Shandra and Jen are due on the 7th! Andrea had her little guy in April (Premature by 2 weeks) I just find myself happy for them and excited about all the babies. >>; I'm too shy to ask Andrea about holding her little one. I want to, but I think I wanna wait till he's older.... GOSH I wanna hold babies. They're so cute and soft and snuggly. Snuggle snuggle snuggle
Annnnyways, so I got back to my folk's place at around 10:15pm and went to go pick up my kid only to realize that everyone was in bed. (oops! Late, I know!) So I let myself in the back way (Secret key!) and was on my way up to pick up little girl to take her home when my mom called me in to talk.
We've been fighting a lot lately. She wants to help me but the only way she knows how to do that is by throwing money at my problems. "Oh, you don't have emotional support, here, I'll pay for you to talk to someone." "Oh, you're feeling left out cause we never take you out with us, here's a weekend at the cabin for free." "Oh, your car isn't working, here, let's look for a new one" (that last one has been a 'promise' for the last 3 years) And it just FRUSTRATES me because I know she can be a better parent than that. I just want her to listen sometimes and no lecture me afterwards. I know I fucked up with Kevin, with Dave, with every other man in my life, I don't need to you keep ramming it down my throat woman!
We talked about relationships and she told me I shouldn't settle, that I shouldn't give up. She tells me I should go to work and meet a man there (I still haven't told her about my Crush) and how much better off I'll be when I'm working. I told her today about all the appointments coming up and how I didn't feel that I could work all the time and still be an effective parent. I have too many meetings. I have meetings fairly regularily with Pediatricians, Pediatric Ophthalmologists, Speech pathologists, Physiotherapists, Child development workers and now my own specialists too. (The lost IUD and Sleep Doctor.) I just have way too much on my plate to worry about working right now.
I stayed and we talked for more than an hour. It was good for the most part, getting some stuff off my chest, telling her how I felt about our family, about my Dad. Everything like that. I do love my Dad, he's an amazing guy. I don't want my mom and Dad to break up after my sisters are grown, and I'm really proud of them for going to counseling together, I hope the best for them.
After all was said and done I packed kiddo up and my sister came out to help me with carrying some stuff out (Clothes, toys etc.) Mom went back to bed and Mik (The older one) and I stood outside talking for a bit. I told her about my Crush and she's excited for me. Haha, in her own way I suppose. I talked to her about him for a bit and she said to me, "He sounds really good on paper. Wait till you meet him, then tell me how you feel and then /I/ have to meet him and I'll tell you if he's okay or not." So apparently my crush needs my sister's approval. As she put it, "I want an AWESOME brother-in-law, cause you deserve it." Mik and I fight on and off, some days she's this phenomenally kind, sweet person and then other days (when she doesn't get her way) she's a vindictive little c-u-....b-i-t-c-h. Seriously, sometimes I can't stand her, but for the most part she's pretty awesome.
Anyways I drove home and sat outside for 10 minutes just thinking to myself. It was good to have some quiet relaxing time with nothing going on. Now though, it's bedtime. It's good to have written this all out again. Forgot how much I sometimes need to put my thoughts on paper.