(no subject)
THE LIFE AND TIMES OF DARWIN CHAV!
(2005-2076) R.I.P
Strangely enough Darwin had a most peculiar obsession of cigarettes from the age of 3.
By the time she was 12, Darwin was already outlined as "commander material" by their local terrorist organisation!
Darwin was expelled from school after stubbing a cigarette out on the principals forehead. The dear principal now resembles a Bollywood star more than ever!
For most of 2030, Darwin spent 82% of their time in bed, prodding themselves off to Elvis records. Darwin was beaten to within an inch of their life with a cue in a pool hall for whistling Cliff Richard's yuletide atrocity 'Millenium Prayer'
Darwin was arrested for cruelty to animals after attempting to glue a robin red breast to a bird feeder by its wing. As part of their housewarming party Darwin threw a BBQ. It happened to hit the next door neighbours cat. Darwin was sent downtown.
An appearance on 'Whos Wants To Be A Millionaire' ended in carnage after Darwin attempted to smuggle the hotseat out of the builder. Chris Tarrant was wise to Darwin's idea and proceeded to beat them to a pulp!
During a live TV debate she took a piss in one of the aisles as a protest against society's views on bints. Darwin was arrested shortly after filming ended. After spending 67 years tormenting the homosexual community, she finally realised that she was in fact gay too. Darwin now spends their days shopping for spandex.
The ghost of
mrschoinacky came back and visited Darwin whilst she was at the fairground, lodging their head in the candy floss machine! Darwin never came back out!
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