Sfumato: 3: "Certified"
Title: Sfumato
Word Count: 2,946
Summary: Sfumato 'Scenes' are necessary to read in the order I post them with Tenebrosity.
* Rhapsody Series Part 1 On-going Reference Timeline Here
★Rhapsody Series Memories in Numerical Reading Order★
Sfumato: 3
“Certified”
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
The heat was blasting in her car, but Jennifer felt cold to the bone as she waited for her son to get out of the car. She didn’t want to look at him, couldn’t, because she didn’t want to break down. She was the mother, the grandmother and it was her responsibility to be strong so that if Justin couldn’t be, he would have someone to lean on. Her eyes flickered to the front door of the Health & Human Resources building and then back to the red numbers of the clock on the dashboard.
The low hum of the engine and the sound of her leather gloves squeaking as she alternated between gripping the steering wheel and releasing it were the only sounds discernible to her ears. She was convinced though, that if she were to put a stethoscope to Justin’s chest, or her own, the sound of a staccato breaking beat would be deafening to her ears.
Outside, snow fell quietly, there were few cars parked in the lot, but not many on the streets. The temperature was below freezing and the roads were icy and most people stayed home rather than deal with the weather. Jennifer hadn’t wanted to get out of bed, the weather being the least deterrent, but she had plans with her son and nothing could get in the way of her being there for him.
She glanced quickly at him before looking back at the door to the building. “Do you want me to go inside with you?”
“Huh?” Justin rubbed his itchy eyes and looked around and realized they had arrived at their destination. During the necessary slow crawl along the roads leading to town he had zoned out while watching the wiper blades. It was for the best, if he hadn’t, he would’ve been overly conscious of every move the car made and would’ve demanded his mother turn the car around long ago.
“I think you’d better let me come in with you.” Jennifer reached for the ignition to turn off the car but Justin’s hand closed over her wrist and stopped her.
“I told you yesterday, I need to do this alone.” Justin averted his eyes from his mother when she looked at him. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He opened the door, kicked one leg out and grabbed the manila folder from the dashboard and climbed out of the car, slamming the door closed behind him.
His extended family and Brian had carried the burdens thrust upon them after it happened. He would never know what all they had done, but this, Justin told himself, he could do and he was determined to do whatever he could alone.
The interior of the building’s décor was as cold as it was outside. The woman sitting behind the reception desk smiled warmly at him when he entered, but Justin couldn’t manage even a nod of acknowledgement to the gesture.
“How can I help you?” the woman spoke happily.
Justin wondered how much she got paid. He wondered if the majority of her day was spent smiling. He wondered if she congratulated new parents. He hadn’t been the one to pick up an official copy of Arella's birth certificate, Brian had done that. He wondered if Brian had spoken to her, or if it had been someone else. He wondered if he would ruin the woman's day. He doubted he would because people employed at places like this have seen it all. He wondered if she had issued the birth certificates for the conjoined twins he’d read about being born a few weeks ago. Would there have been two or one?
“Sir, can I help you?” the woman asked again, her voice less enthusiastic.
Justin nodded and looked down at the plastic chairs in front of her desk and wondered if he was required to sit down. He didn’t want to, because the more he got a feel for the place the more he would remember about coming here. Then again, he already saw the chairs upholstered in blue and white speckled tweed with black plastic arms and legs. He sat down and placed the folder on the only free space on her desk. He refused to let his eyes wander to any of the picture frames. He focused on opening the top of the envelope which was a lot harder than it should be. His hands were frozen because he’d forgotten gloves and that always caused his gimp hand to be uncooperative. It was even worse now because he stopped his regular physical therapy when...
“Let me help,” the woman said softly, reaching over to grab the envelope.
Justin felt her hand brush his and it took everything in him to not draw away from the touch as if she’d held a lit cigarette to him. Her skin was hot, but the very spot she touched him, between the skin of his thumb and forefinger, left a lingering burn that crawled up around his wrist, inched its way up and settled in the crease of his elbow. He grabbed the envelope from her hands the moment she flipped the tab open. She blinked quickly in surprise and Justin could catch a little fear in her expression. He wanted to tell her not to worry, that the only person he wanted to kill was himself, but bit his lip and the confession died in his throat.
“You‘re here to apply for a copy of a divorce certificate?” she asked.
Justin shook his head no to her assumption. Apparently, most bedraggled men his age came here because they were getting a divorce. He produced the items from his envelope and placed them on her desk. One piece of mail addressed to him, proof of his current residence, two social security cards and three identification cards. He only needed to give his driver’s license or state I.D., but he included both and the 2013-14 academy student identification card that he’d taken off the princess backpack. He wanted to be completely prepared, even though he’d looked up what information he would need and called the office twice, he didn’t want any problems to arise that would cause him to make another trip here.
“Honey, what can I help you with?” she leaned back and tilted her head, studying Justin.
“I need a certified copy of a death certificate.” He’d spoken the words in a normal tone but they echoed around the empty office space.
The woman’s mouth hung open for a moment; she blinked quickly and looked down at the items on her desk. She picked up each one and arranged them in front of her keyboard. “You are Justin Taylor-Kinney?” she asked in a whisper, though she had laid his driver’s license that showed his picture on top of the stack.
“Yes.” Justin realized that his heavy beard and unkempt appearance was likely a big difference between that of the pictures on his ID cards. He was pretty certain he was smiling in both of them too. “Arella Scarlett Taylor-Kinney is my daughter.” He watched as the woman clicked around on her keyboard, seeming to be as disinterested in him, as she had been interested in him only moments before. It must be hard, he thought, to look a parent of a dead child in the eyes.
He knew exactly how that felt.
“Your partner is...”
“Husband,” Justin cut her off and stared hard at her though she hadn’t looked away from her computer screen.
“Yes, your husband, he is Brian Aiden Taylor-Kinney of....”
“Easton Mill Road, Morgantown West Virginia, county of Mongolia,” Justin stated in a rush. “You don’t need his information; I called to be sure yesterday.”
“Yes, I am just confirming.” She finally tore her eyes away from the computer and gave him an apologetic look. “It is policy that I confirm the correct information before the first issued copy of the certificate.”
Justin closed his eyes and forced the urge to scream into the back of his throat before opening them again. Time slowed as she asked him question after question. He hadn’t taken his hat or coat off and was soaked in sweat by the time the woman slid a piece of paper toward him that he was required to sign. His hand shook as he scribbled his name on one line and put his signature on the line underneath. He dropped the pen onto the desk so hard it appeared like he’d thrown it and Justin wasn’t sure if he had or not. The pen rolled off the desk and bounced around on the tile floor but neither him nor the woman made to pick it up.
She turned in her chair, stood and walked to the copier placed on a desk behind her. The machine whirred to life and a moment later her hand delicately clasped death.
Justin shoved the items he brought into his envelope and refused to look at the paper she handed him. He couldn’t fit it inside the envelope, it was too wide. Instead, he jammed the top under the lip of the envelope, rolled it into a cylinder and tucked them into the inside pocket of his coat. As he got up to leave he heard the woman offer condolences for his loss, but they went in one ear and out the other. By the time he pushed open the door and stepped outside into the freezing air, her words evaporated. His eyes were drawn to a blinking yellow light above the shop across the parking lot.
He turned away from it and walked to his mother’s car. The heat from inside took his breath away as he sat down and closed the door on the cold.
“Everything go okay?” his mother asked as he buckled his seat belt.
“Fine.” Justin wanted to scream, cry, throw something. He couldn’t. He had to be strong. He had to be okay. He had to pretend. As his mother backed the car out of the lot he asked, “Can you pull over there?”
“To the pawn shop?” Jennifer asked quizzically.
“I want to see if they have an X-BOX game Brian’s been looking for.”
Jennifer drove over to the store and parked. “Brian wants an X-BOX game?” she asked the question as if it were the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard.
Justin knew that it was probably the most ridiculous thing she could imagine her son and lover doing. “We like escaping into an imaginary world every now and then,” he said. He stared hard at his mother, his expression daring her to say anything more. A minute passed and she finally nodded at him. Taking that as a cue, Justin got out of the car and walked toward the pawn shop.
The cold metal of the handle on the door jolted him to further awareness. He let out a deep breath and before the evidence could disappear into the atmosphere he walked into the store.
“How ya doing?” a tall skinny man clothed head-to-toe in camouflage greeted in a tawny accent.
Justin looked around the store and then gave the man a relaxed, easy smile. “Doing just fine, how about yourself?”
“Can’t complain, though I wish it wasn’t so darn cold outside.”
Justin nodded and walked closer to the counter the man stood behind. “Do you happen to have any used copies of Dark Eternal 3?”
“Think I got a couple, what system?”
“X-BOX,” Justin answered.
The man held his finger up and walked a few feet down before crouching near a box. “Got one that’s new, still in the package and two used.”
“I’ll go ahead and take the new one.”
“That all ya need?”
Justin was mid-nod when his eyes caught silver and black under the glass display case.
“That’s a Smith & Wesson 638, wanna see it?”
“Yeah.”
The man grabbed a key from his pocket and paused, “You’re over twenty-one, yeah?”
“I’ll show you my ID, don’t want ya getting in trouble,” he said with a laugh. He unbuttoned his coat, grabbed the envelope and took out his driver’s license. “Here you are.”
The man took it for a moment, looked up at him, handed it back and bent to unlock the display case. “Ya ever owned a gun before?”
“Not my own. When I was little my dad used to take me hunting.” With the tone of his voice one would think Justin was happy about the torturous days of father/son bonding forced upon him.
“Yeah? Where’d ya hunt?”
“Not too far from here. I haven’t been for a long time. I’m looking for something for home protection.”
“Well this here is perfect,” the man said, and handed Justin the revolver. “Wouldn’t take it hunting though.”
“Nah,” Justin said, feeling the cool weight of the gun in his hand. “How much?”
“You have a firearm license?”
“Sure do.” Justin had gotten one last year when he and Brian had discussed keeping a gun in the house for protection after their neighbor’s house was broken into and robbed. They had decided against it because they didn’t want to keep one with a child in the house, it was too dangerous, no matter if they kept it locked up or not. In that case, they wouldn’t have easy access to it if a robber did invade their home so it would have been pointless. “How long a wait time before I can buy it?”
“Kid, you haven’t even asked how much it is,” the man laughed.
Justin shrugged and handed the gun back. “How much?”
“It’s only two years old, I’ve had it in the shop for about a month. I can do three hundred.”
Justin nodded and grabbed his wallet from his back pocket. “How long do I have to wait before I can take it home now?”
“You’re originally from Pennsylvania, aint’ ya?”
“How’d ya guess?”
“You got an accent and in Pennsylvania they have a law about waiting for a handgun after you apply to purchase it. We ain’t got that law here in West Virginia. You can take it home today as long as you have a registered license and your background check is all right.”
“How long will that take?” The last thing he wanted was for his mother to come in and see him purchasing a gun. “Got my mom in the car. You know how they are. The last thing she’d wanna see walking in here is her son buying a gun.”
The man huffed. “I got ya. My ma’s never been in this shop. If she saw all these guns she’d bring me out by my ear and beat me senseless with her purse.”
Justin laughed and it was real as he imagined that scenario. “So can it be quick?”
“Takes about an hour. Take her to lunch and stop back by why don’t ya?”
Justin nodded. “Good idea. I’ll be back for the game, my ID and the gun in about an hour.”
“See ya then, kid.”
Justin turned and walked out of the store and then got in the car. “Game’s really hard to get,” he said by way of explanation. “He said he’s got a guy that’s gonna come drop off a new copy for me.”
“Why don’t you just go to the mall and buy it?” Jennifer asked. “You were in there for a long time for them to not find it.”
“He had to call around. Do you think I’d go into a pawn shop if I could buy one just as easily at the mall?”
Jennifer sighed. “I suppose not.”
“Let me buy you lunch and we can swing back by here afterward and he should have it in.”
“You sure you feel up to it?”
Justin could get through an hour pretending because soon he wouldn’t have to pretend anymore. “Yeah. I’m hungry.” The last thing he wanted to do was eat but keeping up appearances for now was mandatory.
“How about T.G.I.Friday’s?” she suggested.
Justin knew he would have to shove whatever he ordered down his throat but it would be worth it. He needed an hour to kill and that place always took forever. “Fine with me.”
Jennifer placed her hand on Justin’s shoulder and asked softly, “Are you really all right? We can do this tomorrow and I’ll take you back here to pick up the game then?”
“Mom,” Justin said evenly, “believe me, I’d tell you if I’d rather be at home.”
“It’s just that you haven’t left the house much and now you’re wanting to be gone longer than we’d planned. I just don’t want you to over do it.”
Justin took a deep breath and tried not to feel annoyed with his mother. She knew him, she could probably sense that he was far from all right but he would deny it. “Really, I’m all right. Now that I’ve gotten out of the house I think I feel a little better. Maybe all I needed was some fresh air.”
“Maybe,” Jennifer conceded.
The snow fell harder now, white stars bursting against the glass. Justin reached his hand out and touched the cool glass of his window and traced the outline of one and then another. Every single snowflake was different, not two were alike. Just like people. The outline of one flake disappeared and was soon replaced with another splatter. Nothing could replace her; nothing could make him all right, so it was best that he disappear too.
TBC in Tenebrosity Chapter 9 here:---> http://rhapsody-series.livejournal.com/8792.html
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RS114