For those interested in free speech in schools~

May 08, 2007 13:53

I wrote this essay because of an incident that happened at my high school last year. It's not quite finished yet but I'mma post it. It involves the censorship of high school newspapers. I found it really interesting... but my essay is really long so I doubt people will read it all. xD

First Amendment rights are not shed at the schoolhouse gates )

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guardian_kysra May 8 2007, 20:10:42 UTC
I wish I had a highlighter XD

For the most part, this is a FANTASTIC draft. There were only a few things I found needed changing:

1. you repeat yourself word for word in the beginning: Para. 2: Prior review is unethical by journalistic standards, and can allow school officials to control the content of the publication to their own agenda.

Para 4: Prior review is unethical by journalistic standards and can allow school officials to control the content of the publication to their own agenda.

2. Statements such as "However, neither article would cause disruption in the school. They simply made the image of the school worsen. " Need to be validated by another source. HOW did the actions of these people make the image of the school worsen? And since the event is done and past, there is no way to know whether a disruption would take place or not -- it's conjecture.

Also, I realize this is an opinion piece, however, coming from a background in history, arguments are usually strengthened when you give a little space to the opposing side.

Other than that and a few grammatical things, this is very well done!

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rhapsody_dragon May 9 2007, 03:32:12 UTC
zomg~ Thanks so much for the concrit~ I presented it to my peer groups and while they commented... it wasn't in as much detail as I would have liked. So the more the better~

I know since I'm close to the issue, it's harder to see how clear the argument is presented with opposing sides, etc. :S So yes, thank you!

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