I miss being in love.
I miss being in love. The butterflies in my stomach that blew my insides away are missing. I miss the ratting of my heart inside its cage whenever he's around, whoever that might be. I miss the smile that creeps upon my face at whatever he does. Sure, I have crushes here && there but in the end, I get tired of them or if not, I'd always find out that they're in relationships.
I woke up everyday with no thought, just following a routine that has been with me for 18 years now. Who am I to break that? Deep inside, I know he'd come someday but as impatient as I am, I'm tired of waiting. I've been waiting for more than 28 months. I think that's a decent time for punishment but He don't think so. I could only sigh.
I've been thinking a lot about it the past few days. I think this is some kind of a karma. I used to kind of cheat before. It was a so-so kind of flirting, but we were almost there. ALMOST. I think we both knew that we were wrong && somehow, we wanted to the wrong in the right way. We didn't really hook up since I was in a relationship but he was the one who goes with me in outings or whereever while my real boyfriend plays computer games at home. Nice work.
I also have a bad habit of making couples fight because of me. Or worst, break up && me being the stupid reason. I enjoy that. You know? Feeling important because you know you're getting attention or being a reason for breaking up just so you know it makes you feel impulsive. I always know that it's bad but there are just times that I do act like a slutty bitch && do wrongs other than rights.
I miss being in love. Everything about it. Even the pain. The loss && longing for his presence. Unlike today, tonight && for the rest of the months to come. I hope he comes at the right time. I'll always be waiting (:
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♥
I woke up everyday with no thought, just following a routine that has been with me for 18 years now. Who am I to break that? Deep inside, I know he'd come someday but as impatient as I am, I'm tired of waiting. I've been waiting for more than 28 months. I think that's a decent time for punishment but He don't think so. I could only sigh.
I've been thinking a lot about it the past few days. I think this is some kind of a karma. I used to kind of cheat before. It was a so-so kind of flirting, but we were almost there. ALMOST. I think we both knew that we were wrong && somehow, we wanted to the wrong in the right way. We didn't really hook up since I was in a relationship but he was the one who goes with me in outings or whereever while my real boyfriend plays computer games at home. Nice work.
I also have a bad habit of making couples fight because of me. Or worst, break up && me being the stupid reason. I enjoy that. You know? Feeling important because you know you're getting attention or being a reason for breaking up just so you know it makes you feel impulsive. I always know that it's bad but there are just times that I do act like a slutty bitch && do wrongs other than rights.
I miss being in love. Everything about it. Even the pain. The loss && longing for his presence. Unlike today, tonight && for the rest of the months to come. I hope he comes at the right time. I'll always be waiting (:
---
♥