Go to dinner, hilarity ensues
Two years ago, when my former boss was courting me to join his company, he gave me a $100 gift certificate to the Capitol City Chop House. Very expensive, but very good place to eat if you're a carnivore.
So here we are, two years later, and I thought it would be rather nice for ktok and I to finally spend it to celebrate my NEW job. The irony was just too perfect!
Delicious dinner, and even better that I didn't have to pay for most of it and got something GOOD out of my last boss. Ima go splodey now.
But the entertainment of the night was the couple behind us. I can't even begin to describe their conversation. The guy was a pompous, arrogant asshole. The girl was better, but not by much. Now, they were explaining and arguing over everything, particularly their sexual conquests. The guy was bragging about how he once had sex with his girlfriend's best friend when he had to give said best friend a ride home one time...then got all pissed at the girl he was with tonight because she kissed a guy she met at a bar some time in her past.
So it was hard to figure out...this was not the language of a couple who has been dating long enough to go drop $145 on a dinner for two (again, the place IS that expensive, and we heard the end result of their tab) unless there was some reason behind it. My original theory was they were co-workers in town on business, so they knew each other and might kinda-sorta be seeing each other, but also knew about each other's respective sexual histories due to water cooler talk.
Then the conversation turned, and I think we figured it out.
The girl mentioned she knew the guy dated someone else who was divorced, and he practically blew up at her saying she friended the other girl on MySpace and found out about her and who knows who else he dated. And her response was, "What else is MySpace for?"
DING!-DING!-DING!
Based on the rest of the conversation and putting the other pieces of the puzzle together...I bet you those two met on MySpace. The restaurant is RIGHT by the airport and the airport hotels. ktok and I would put money on the idea that one of them (probably the girl) flew in for the weekend, if not the holiday, to meet the guy for the first time, and he was taking her to Chop House for dinner and planned to get some at her hotel room as they were getting their dessert boxed up to go. And yet, it was the most dysfunctional relationship conversation we have ever heard to the point we were muffling our gigglefits.
Now, I feel sorry for the girl. She seemed like a ditz, but even she didn't deserve the abuse the asshole was doling out. I just hope he paid for her flight, if not the hotel too (assuming she wasn't planning to stay with him). I mean, he was telling her all about a previous girlfriend of his and how he'd take this girl out to dinner and other guys would ask her out right in front of him because she was SOOOO desirable and yet she stayed with him. Uhhh...yeah. I kinda wanted to go up to the girl he was with tonight and ask her if she wanted to "come home with us" because she seemed like she was probably nice and didn't need to put up with his abuse and I would rather sleep with her than him because even if he was super-model good-looking (and he wasn't, but if he was) I STILL wouldn't be attracted to him because he had such a slimy personality. ktok felt the need to load up Dennis Leary's "Asshole" song when we got home because the guy fit right in to the song perfectly.
Witnessing something like that...the guy's pride in his conquests, his possessiveness and jealousy to hear about her past, his abusive language (he said things like, "How stupid are you?!" quite a bit), and his constant dropping of the F-bomb LOUDLY and in PUBLIC (his voice carried all too well to miss it)...it really made us happy that our relationship is nothing like that. It's schadenfreude, I know, but I can't help it.
But overall, it was funny. If I had any more wine in me (I considered a glass of port with dessert, but was TOO stuffed!) I probably would have offered him a dollar bill for being our floor show that went along with dinner. And especially after we put the pieces of the puzzle together...whoo, boy! We were laughing all the way home!
That poor girl, but damn...too funny!
So here we are, two years later, and I thought it would be rather nice for ktok and I to finally spend it to celebrate my NEW job. The irony was just too perfect!
Delicious dinner, and even better that I didn't have to pay for most of it and got something GOOD out of my last boss. Ima go splodey now.
But the entertainment of the night was the couple behind us. I can't even begin to describe their conversation. The guy was a pompous, arrogant asshole. The girl was better, but not by much. Now, they were explaining and arguing over everything, particularly their sexual conquests. The guy was bragging about how he once had sex with his girlfriend's best friend when he had to give said best friend a ride home one time...then got all pissed at the girl he was with tonight because she kissed a guy she met at a bar some time in her past.
So it was hard to figure out...this was not the language of a couple who has been dating long enough to go drop $145 on a dinner for two (again, the place IS that expensive, and we heard the end result of their tab) unless there was some reason behind it. My original theory was they were co-workers in town on business, so they knew each other and might kinda-sorta be seeing each other, but also knew about each other's respective sexual histories due to water cooler talk.
Then the conversation turned, and I think we figured it out.
The girl mentioned she knew the guy dated someone else who was divorced, and he practically blew up at her saying she friended the other girl on MySpace and found out about her and who knows who else he dated. And her response was, "What else is MySpace for?"
DING!-DING!-DING!
Based on the rest of the conversation and putting the other pieces of the puzzle together...I bet you those two met on MySpace. The restaurant is RIGHT by the airport and the airport hotels. ktok and I would put money on the idea that one of them (probably the girl) flew in for the weekend, if not the holiday, to meet the guy for the first time, and he was taking her to Chop House for dinner and planned to get some at her hotel room as they were getting their dessert boxed up to go. And yet, it was the most dysfunctional relationship conversation we have ever heard to the point we were muffling our gigglefits.
Now, I feel sorry for the girl. She seemed like a ditz, but even she didn't deserve the abuse the asshole was doling out. I just hope he paid for her flight, if not the hotel too (assuming she wasn't planning to stay with him). I mean, he was telling her all about a previous girlfriend of his and how he'd take this girl out to dinner and other guys would ask her out right in front of him because she was SOOOO desirable and yet she stayed with him. Uhhh...yeah. I kinda wanted to go up to the girl he was with tonight and ask her if she wanted to "come home with us" because she seemed like she was probably nice and didn't need to put up with his abuse and I would rather sleep with her than him because even if he was super-model good-looking (and he wasn't, but if he was) I STILL wouldn't be attracted to him because he had such a slimy personality. ktok felt the need to load up Dennis Leary's "Asshole" song when we got home because the guy fit right in to the song perfectly.
Witnessing something like that...the guy's pride in his conquests, his possessiveness and jealousy to hear about her past, his abusive language (he said things like, "How stupid are you?!" quite a bit), and his constant dropping of the F-bomb LOUDLY and in PUBLIC (his voice carried all too well to miss it)...it really made us happy that our relationship is nothing like that. It's schadenfreude, I know, but I can't help it.
But overall, it was funny. If I had any more wine in me (I considered a glass of port with dessert, but was TOO stuffed!) I probably would have offered him a dollar bill for being our floor show that went along with dinner. And especially after we put the pieces of the puzzle together...whoo, boy! We were laughing all the way home!
That poor girl, but damn...too funny!