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rh_stories
From the nedry of Zhopa: Basmachi press on Uragan Yasha
Here are a few old e-mails from Basmachi press (wink-wink! WINK-fucking-WINK!!!!!!!) that I found in my mailbox with regards to one of the most favorite characters. Enjoy.
From: grisha@MIT.EDU
Received: by contents-vnder-pressvre.MIT.EDU (8.8.5/4.7) id QAA25297; Thu, 11 Se
p 1997 16:37:40 -0400 (EDT)
Message-Id: <199709112037.QAA25297@contents-vnder-pressvre.MIT.EDU>
To: russkis-flame@MIT.EDU
Subject: The Boroho-Witch Hunt
Date: Thu, 11 Sep 1997 16:37:40 EDT
Ne suj emu ty palec v rot -
Iz pal'ca on stat'i soset.
Mat'
The Basmachi Press hereby presents our essay-digest "Jacob's Ladder: The
life and trials of a renowned journalist." Please read carefully.
A spectre is haunting Boston - the spectre of Yasha. We, the Basmachi,
consider it our duty to explain to the new generations of Russkis the
origin of the particular species, its life and times, trials and
tribulations, war and peace, sex and violence, etc., etc., etc.
The subject first arrived on the Russian House scene after the first
KBH, that is, some time in March of 1995. At that time, he claimed he
wanted to conduct an interview with various russkis. The interview, it
turns out, amounted to his monologue which stated that we, Russian-born
teenagers and twentysomethings in America, cannot like Vysotsky and
Okudzhava. We, actually, are - he knows it for a fact- rabid fans of
Grob and Yegor LEtov. After hearing Yasha soliloquize thus for about 37
minutes, yours truly has coined a now famous expression: "Egor Letov -
mudak i p...r", to the great delight of Yasha.
The rest I do not remember very well... I felt like a character in a
movie directed by David Lynch and Leonid Gayday simultaneously. Shortly
after that conversation, the first article about us appeared in
Bostonskoe Vremya. Following are the characteristic quotes from it:
. . . . . . .
- Nachinajte igru sami. Dogovorites' o vstreche s N'juton Haj,
svjazhites' s BJu i Brandajsom. Tam vezde polno russkih!
(Ob MIT i Garvarde ja i ne mechtal - razve tem do KVNa, oni zhe tam
vse - prikovannye cepjami k galeram.) I menja {"}poneslo{"}. Pervenstvo
Bostona, kak kogda-to pervenstvo Odessy, bylo blizko i real'no. Snova
nachnet{}sja zhizn', a ne {"}spiriticheskie seansy{"}.
. . . . . . .
Iz ehtoj komandy mne ochen' ponravilas' odna devochka, kotoraja
igrala na gitare i pela - Anja Mirnaja. Ochen' talantliva, ochen'
artistichna, i ulybka chudesnaja.
. . . . . . .
Pered ehtim zavershajuwim konkursom komanda MIT vyshla na ochko
vpered. Grigorij Golberg stal geroem dnja, i likujuwie bolel'wicy MIT,
vse bez iskljuchenija, smertel'no v nego vljubilis'. Uspekh - vot
glavnoe, chto rastaplivaet zhenskie serdca. Pobeditel' vsegda krasiv.
. . . . . . .
Having read the above again, I think that is is not enough to create a
proper image of the subject, and so we go on. He wrote a letter to the
Boston Zhlobe, with photos titled in the spirit of the following:
"The erotic dances of the girls from New York City left nobody untouched,
including the author."
But all this, as they say, tsvetochki...
Last spring, the subject has founded YET ANOTHER on-line literary
journal, where he is virtually known as Dan Dorfman, and his co-editor
as Mia Morris. "Mia" is a twenty-year-old, and the subject asked me
not to broach the confidential information about his age to her. Now I
wonder if I shouldn't do exactly that...
At that point he asked me if he could publish the soon-to-be famous
masterpiece "Dnevnik dvornika Stepanova", to which I said that I do not
care and it is up to Benvenuto Vovnutar'. Having never received a "yes",
or anything resembling a positive answer, from Benvenuto, the subject
nevertheless proceeded to publish it. To add insult to injury, he
published the rough draft and notes, and even dared to "correct" some
"mistakes". After Benvenuto sent a chillingly polite message to him, he
removed the Dnevnik from the page, and felt mortally offended. I believe
he does not wish to speak to me or Benvenuto ever again. So we have our
peace of mind, unlike most of you :).
In the next issue he published works of the "guru of Boston youth",
Vadim Baranovsky, aka God, aka Ingwall the Sourcerer, together with
an "editorial" comment. So that in the third issue, the one with Linor
(by the way, entitled "My lubim Linor", grm, whatever gave him the idea
for the title, I wouldn't know) he is forced to admit:
Chestno priznajus', chto ne vsjo mne v {''}Aktrise{'' }nravitsja. Vo
vtorom nomere MA ja oprometchivo napisal pro tekhnicheskij brak v
stikhakh Vadima Baranovskogo. Razgnevannyj Baranovskij nemedlenno
pozvonil mne i nachal trebovat' dokazatel'stv. Udivljalsja
pochemu ja ne privjol nikakikh primerov, a tak ogul'no i golosnovno vydal
pro tekhnicheskij brak. Poehtomu na ehtot
raz ja napishu tochnee. Ne nravitsja mne samoe nachalo. Mne ono
pokazalos' slabym i vtorichnym. Potomu chto pro teni v sigaretnom dymu,
pro restoran v klubakh dyma, pro
potaskannogo konferans'e, vsjo ehto bylo, bylo, bylo.
Quite apparently, attempting to be an aesthete, and being, for all
intents and purposes, but a quasipseudoaesthete, he criticizes the
beginning of the story in full accordance with the principle "Slyshal
zvon." So did he critique Baranovsky, and with the same attitude
"corrected" the errors in Dnevnik.
. . . . . . . . .
At this point it's becoming clear that the best way to explain the
nature of the subject is not with the help of examples or essays... If
you would like to study the subject in detail, it is best to observe him
in his natural habitat, and to converse with him. This, however, takes a
true scientist, willing to risk his mind and reason for this endeavor.
But let these random notes be a guide to you as you bravely go where
many men have gone before, but few returned. May the Horse be with you.
Francesco Deved'
for the Basmachi Press.
From: grisha@MIT.EDU
Received: by contents-vnder-pressvre.MIT.EDU (8.8.5/4.7) id QAA25297; Thu, 11 Se
p 1997 16:37:40 -0400 (EDT)
Message-Id: <199709112037.QAA25297@contents-vnder-pressvre.MIT.EDU>
To: russkis-flame@MIT.EDU
Subject: The Boroho-Witch Hunt
Date: Thu, 11 Sep 1997 16:37:40 EDT
Ne suj emu ty palec v rot -
Iz pal'ca on stat'i soset.
Mat'
The Basmachi Press hereby presents our essay-digest "Jacob's Ladder: The
life and trials of a renowned journalist." Please read carefully.
A spectre is haunting Boston - the spectre of Yasha. We, the Basmachi,
consider it our duty to explain to the new generations of Russkis the
origin of the particular species, its life and times, trials and
tribulations, war and peace, sex and violence, etc., etc., etc.
The subject first arrived on the Russian House scene after the first
KBH, that is, some time in March of 1995. At that time, he claimed he
wanted to conduct an interview with various russkis. The interview, it
turns out, amounted to his monologue which stated that we, Russian-born
teenagers and twentysomethings in America, cannot like Vysotsky and
Okudzhava. We, actually, are - he knows it for a fact- rabid fans of
Grob and Yegor LEtov. After hearing Yasha soliloquize thus for about 37
minutes, yours truly has coined a now famous expression: "Egor Letov -
mudak i p...r", to the great delight of Yasha.
The rest I do not remember very well... I felt like a character in a
movie directed by David Lynch and Leonid Gayday simultaneously. Shortly
after that conversation, the first article about us appeared in
Bostonskoe Vremya. Following are the characteristic quotes from it:
. . . . . . .
- Nachinajte igru sami. Dogovorites' o vstreche s N'juton Haj,
svjazhites' s BJu i Brandajsom. Tam vezde polno russkih!
(Ob MIT i Garvarde ja i ne mechtal - razve tem do KVNa, oni zhe tam
vse - prikovannye cepjami k galeram.) I menja {"}poneslo{"}. Pervenstvo
Bostona, kak kogda-to pervenstvo Odessy, bylo blizko i real'no. Snova
nachnet{}sja zhizn', a ne {"}spiriticheskie seansy{"}.
. . . . . . .
Iz ehtoj komandy mne ochen' ponravilas' odna devochka, kotoraja
igrala na gitare i pela - Anja Mirnaja. Ochen' talantliva, ochen'
artistichna, i ulybka chudesnaja.
. . . . . . .
Pered ehtim zavershajuwim konkursom komanda MIT vyshla na ochko
vpered. Grigorij Golberg stal geroem dnja, i likujuwie bolel'wicy MIT,
vse bez iskljuchenija, smertel'no v nego vljubilis'. Uspekh - vot
glavnoe, chto rastaplivaet zhenskie serdca. Pobeditel' vsegda krasiv.
. . . . . . .
Having read the above again, I think that is is not enough to create a
proper image of the subject, and so we go on. He wrote a letter to the
Boston Zhlobe, with photos titled in the spirit of the following:
"The erotic dances of the girls from New York City left nobody untouched,
including the author."
But all this, as they say, tsvetochki...
Last spring, the subject has founded YET ANOTHER on-line literary
journal, where he is virtually known as Dan Dorfman, and his co-editor
as Mia Morris. "Mia" is a twenty-year-old, and the subject asked me
not to broach the confidential information about his age to her. Now I
wonder if I shouldn't do exactly that...
At that point he asked me if he could publish the soon-to-be famous
masterpiece "Dnevnik dvornika Stepanova", to which I said that I do not
care and it is up to Benvenuto Vovnutar'. Having never received a "yes",
or anything resembling a positive answer, from Benvenuto, the subject
nevertheless proceeded to publish it. To add insult to injury, he
published the rough draft and notes, and even dared to "correct" some
"mistakes". After Benvenuto sent a chillingly polite message to him, he
removed the Dnevnik from the page, and felt mortally offended. I believe
he does not wish to speak to me or Benvenuto ever again. So we have our
peace of mind, unlike most of you :).
In the next issue he published works of the "guru of Boston youth",
Vadim Baranovsky, aka God, aka Ingwall the Sourcerer, together with
an "editorial" comment. So that in the third issue, the one with Linor
(by the way, entitled "My lubim Linor", grm, whatever gave him the idea
for the title, I wouldn't know) he is forced to admit:
Chestno priznajus', chto ne vsjo mne v {''}Aktrise{'' }nravitsja. Vo
vtorom nomere MA ja oprometchivo napisal pro tekhnicheskij brak v
stikhakh Vadima Baranovskogo. Razgnevannyj Baranovskij nemedlenno
pozvonil mne i nachal trebovat' dokazatel'stv. Udivljalsja
pochemu ja ne privjol nikakikh primerov, a tak ogul'no i golosnovno vydal
pro tekhnicheskij brak. Poehtomu na ehtot
raz ja napishu tochnee. Ne nravitsja mne samoe nachalo. Mne ono
pokazalos' slabym i vtorichnym. Potomu chto pro teni v sigaretnom dymu,
pro restoran v klubakh dyma, pro
potaskannogo konferans'e, vsjo ehto bylo, bylo, bylo.
Quite apparently, attempting to be an aesthete, and being, for all
intents and purposes, but a quasipseudoaesthete, he criticizes the
beginning of the story in full accordance with the principle "Slyshal
zvon." So did he critique Baranovsky, and with the same attitude
"corrected" the errors in Dnevnik.
. . . . . . . . .
At this point it's becoming clear that the best way to explain the
nature of the subject is not with the help of examples or essays... If
you would like to study the subject in detail, it is best to observe him
in his natural habitat, and to converse with him. This, however, takes a
true scientist, willing to risk his mind and reason for this endeavor.
But let these random notes be a guide to you as you bravely go where
many men have gone before, but few returned. May the Horse be with you.
Francesco Deved'
for the Basmachi Press.