Fic: When tears are in your eyes
Title: When tears are in your eyes
Author: robinfanatic
Spoilers: 1x13
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1806
Warnings: angst, slash (implied)
Copyright: BBC & TigerAspect own, I just want to play in their universe
Characters: Much, Robin/Much (implied)
Summary: takes place just prior to the scene in episode 1x13 where Robin lashes out against Much; this serves as a companion piece to Alone.
Title taken from Bridge over Troubled Water by Simon & Garfunkel
>->------------>>
“I am sick of doing the right thing.” The anguish in Robin’s voice was impossible to mask. He was devastated, his hopes and dreams dashed by that one arrow at the cave. Eyes brimming with tears, the young outlaw stared past Sir Edward and the lads in Marian’s bedroom.
Marian was alive but lost to Gisborne, Robin’s sworn enemy. This was more than the archer could bear.
The look on Robin’s face erupted in waves of pain that crashed into Much like a punch in the gut. Broken spirits were something he knew about from the war… from the Sheriff’s dungeons… but not from matters of love. This was different-worse-than the Robin he’d seen at the cave when they thought Marian was dead. Much worse. Robin never seemed so vulnerable. The old man’s words shattered him, each one like a dagger twisting in his soul.
Much desperately wanted to wrap his arms around Robin, give him a shoulder to lean on, a place to let his tears fall. But Much felt invisible at this moment. Robin wasn’t looking at the gang, wasn’t looking at him. His mind was somewhere else. Not a pretty place.
Much’s heart was clouded with pain. He knew that Sir Edward’s harsh words to Robin were truthful, that his daughter’s welfare was his only concern. And Robin admitted that he had no plan to stop Lady Marian’s marriage to Gisborne. I’ll think of something, he’d told Edward.
Robin always came up with a plan, but there certainly seemed to be none on this day.
If you cannot save her, I beg you, do the right thing. Let her go, Edward told him.
Blinded by tears, Robin stumbled down the stairway and out the door of Knighton Hall. Much stared out the window and watched his friend disappear into the wood.
“Let my daughter rest,” Edward said, waving the outlaws out of Marian's room.
Edward patted each man and Djaq on the back as they moved downstairs. “I need your help,” he told them. “The nobles will meet tonight at Lord Merton’s to make our plans for the king’s return. Please, try to convince Robin to be there. We must save the king.”
“Shall we go after Robin?” Allan asked after they'd said their good-byes to Sir Edward and stood outside Knighton Hall.
“We can split up,” Will offered.
“I know where to find him,” Much told the others. “I think it might be best if I speak with him alone.”
“You’re probably right, Much,” Djaq said.
John agreed with a somber nod. “That is a good idea,” he said.
“We’ll meet you back at camp,” Djaq added.
“Get a good fire going,” Much told them. “I’ll make a stew when we get back. Robin likes my stew. It’ll make him feel better.”
“Long as it ain’t squirrel,” Allan chuckled.
“There is nothing wrong with a squirrel stew!” Much argued.
“That’s not what Robin says.”
“What do you mean? What did he say?” Much asked, looking mortally wounded. “He never complains about my stews. It's not like I use squirrel so much!”
“Don’t listen to him, Much,” Will said, clapping him across the back. “He’s just givin’ you a hard time.”
Much nodded, tugged his tunic down, and started toward Locksley. He knew where to find Robin. Their favorite spot overlooking the village. They used to call it the finest spot in England. As young boys they’d spent hours up there talking about their hopes and dreams… well, mostly Robin’s hopes and dreams. Much didn’t tend to dream too much. He knew he’d spend his days serving Master Robin. Not to say he didn’t dream now and then. Dreams of a warm hearth, a good meal, and maybe even a family of his own. Oh… and a warm bath, he thought. With rose petals. Or maybe lavender. He let himself smile just for a moment. But it was hard to think of those things now when he was living in the forest. With Robin. Always following Robin. That was a good thing to do. He believed that with all of his heart. And I must stay by Robin’s side. Robin needs me... maybe now more than ever.
Much knew he must make Robin see that without his help, the nobles' plans would go nowhere. Plans, Much thought. Robin had had such plans. Much recalled how he’d dreamed of the day they’d return from the Holy Land and the Lady Marian would be in his arms.
Much remembered all too well the nights Robin would cry out her name. He’d hidden his own jealousy, oftentimes waking Robin to hold him tightly. He could feel Robin’s heart pounding against his flesh, and he’d whisper that things would be alright once they returned to England. Robin’s heartbeat would slow, his breathing would grow steady until he fell asleep in Much’s arms. Marian will wait for you, Much would tell his master as he drifted off to sleep, though in truth, he wasn’t certain what they’d find.
Perhaps he secretly wished that Marian would be wedded, bedded, and have babes at her feet. But she didn’t. She claimed that Robin held no charms over her but Much could tell… he knew… Marian wanted Robin as much as Robin wanted her. They were both just too damn stubborn to come out and say it. There were times Much would’ve liked to just smack both of them and tell them to grow up! Admit it! They were in love.
Truly, Much did understand. He didn’t like it all that much, but he did understand. A woman’s comforting was something he craved at times himself… but it was different than the bond between two men who had grown up together since the cradle, who went to war together in a far-off land of unbearable heat and sand. They’d seen the atrocities of the King’s holy war. They’d seen men die grisly deaths. Whether Robin wanted to speak of it or not, those memories were not something they would free themselves from in the days they had left on this earth.
So many nights they’d held onto each other as if their lives depended on it, as if it might be their last night under heaven's stars…
I will do anything for you, Robin. Surely you know that. I have served you well, cared for you, saved your life. I have done things with you that God may not forgive us for. And while I blame the war--war that drives all reason from men--I know what those times meant to me… and I hope, to you. Much shivered as he remembered Robin’s gentle touch and the times they’d found comfort lying with each other to escape the horrors of the death and destruction around them. He sadly realized that he had no expectations of that same closeness now that they were back in England. Friendship would have to suffice.
Much shook off thoughts of what had been. How could he convince Robin that Edward was right? What can I tell him that Edward hasn’t? he wondered, knowing that Robin’s heart was crippling his good sense. Surely he must realize that we must save the King. We were sworn to do so in the King’s Guard. Has he forgotten that? And over some silly girl? Even if that girl is Marian, this is our King!
In his mind, Much played through the logical chain of events that should unfold. The King is back, his throne secured. Robin will get his lands back. Gisborne and the Sheriff will be arrested. Surely Gisborne will be found guilty, hanged ‘til he’s dead. Marian will then be free… Won’t she? Doesn’t Robin see that?
It made perfect sense until Much suddenly realized that Gisborne might flee! He might elude arrest. Will he take Marian with him? Much impatiently swiped a low tree branch out of his way. Surely she won’t willingly leave with Gisborne. Will she? Much shook his head as he jumped a fallen limb that lay across his path. Lamenting Marian’s response, his brain and feet missed a connection and he nearly tumbled to the ground. Oh God. Knowing Marian, if she is married, yes, she probably will leave with him! You know, duty and honor and all that, he told himself. Damnable duty. If she stays, she’ll live in shame, alone, with her father. She and Robin cannot be together because she will still wear Gisborne’s ring.
Oh dear… perhaps this is not so easy as I think! Much cried out to himself. Unless… Unless what? His feet took him forward but he felt as if he were pacing back and forth like a caged animal. Unless… annulment? Is treason against King and country grounds for annulment? How long does it take to annul a marriage? Would Marian even consider that? Agh! Women!
Much sighed deeply. Perhaps I should just talk to him about the King. Yes, making England right again. Securing his lands and his title. Robin at Locksley. Me at Bonchurch. Much paused for a moment to catch his breath and stared at the path leading to the top of the next hill. Marian with Gisborne. He felt the bile rise in his throat. He choked it back and kicked the dirt at his feet sending a small cloud of dust into the air. Frowning, he ran a sweaty palm across his forehead then forced himself to keep moving.
Robin’s last words at Knighton Hall tightened around his mind like a noose around a neck. I am sick of doing the right thing. Escape from those thoughts was all but impossible.
Much’s eyes grew moist. It was enough to tear a grown man’s heart to pieces. Robin looked so… so broken, so small. Not the man he’d known all these years. Robin was supposed to be the strong one.
Much forced back tears and shot a look toward the heavens. Oh God… dear God… help Robin. Help me help him. We- I mean, he has been through so much. What can I do to comfort my brother, my friend? he wondered. Could he find the strength to do the right thing, to say the right words, to see Robin through these hard times?
Talk to me, Robin… You are not alone. I’ll share your heartache. I’ll be here to listen. I won’t leave you…
Much stopped on the crest of the hill and spotted Robin. He sat there amongst the tall breeze-swept grasses with his arms across his knees, his head lowered. Taking a deep breath, Much wandered down the hill still searching for the words Robin needed to hear.
Let me hold you, Robin. I am on your side. I love you. When tears are in your eyes I’ll dry them all.
“I knew you’d be here.”
THE END
Author: robinfanatic
Spoilers: 1x13
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1806
Warnings: angst, slash (implied)
Copyright: BBC & TigerAspect own, I just want to play in their universe
Characters: Much, Robin/Much (implied)
Summary: takes place just prior to the scene in episode 1x13 where Robin lashes out against Much; this serves as a companion piece to Alone.
Title taken from Bridge over Troubled Water by Simon & Garfunkel
>->------------>>
“I am sick of doing the right thing.” The anguish in Robin’s voice was impossible to mask. He was devastated, his hopes and dreams dashed by that one arrow at the cave. Eyes brimming with tears, the young outlaw stared past Sir Edward and the lads in Marian’s bedroom.
Marian was alive but lost to Gisborne, Robin’s sworn enemy. This was more than the archer could bear.
The look on Robin’s face erupted in waves of pain that crashed into Much like a punch in the gut. Broken spirits were something he knew about from the war… from the Sheriff’s dungeons… but not from matters of love. This was different-worse-than the Robin he’d seen at the cave when they thought Marian was dead. Much worse. Robin never seemed so vulnerable. The old man’s words shattered him, each one like a dagger twisting in his soul.
Much desperately wanted to wrap his arms around Robin, give him a shoulder to lean on, a place to let his tears fall. But Much felt invisible at this moment. Robin wasn’t looking at the gang, wasn’t looking at him. His mind was somewhere else. Not a pretty place.
Much’s heart was clouded with pain. He knew that Sir Edward’s harsh words to Robin were truthful, that his daughter’s welfare was his only concern. And Robin admitted that he had no plan to stop Lady Marian’s marriage to Gisborne. I’ll think of something, he’d told Edward.
Robin always came up with a plan, but there certainly seemed to be none on this day.
If you cannot save her, I beg you, do the right thing. Let her go, Edward told him.
Blinded by tears, Robin stumbled down the stairway and out the door of Knighton Hall. Much stared out the window and watched his friend disappear into the wood.
“Let my daughter rest,” Edward said, waving the outlaws out of Marian's room.
Edward patted each man and Djaq on the back as they moved downstairs. “I need your help,” he told them. “The nobles will meet tonight at Lord Merton’s to make our plans for the king’s return. Please, try to convince Robin to be there. We must save the king.”
“Shall we go after Robin?” Allan asked after they'd said their good-byes to Sir Edward and stood outside Knighton Hall.
“We can split up,” Will offered.
“I know where to find him,” Much told the others. “I think it might be best if I speak with him alone.”
“You’re probably right, Much,” Djaq said.
John agreed with a somber nod. “That is a good idea,” he said.
“We’ll meet you back at camp,” Djaq added.
“Get a good fire going,” Much told them. “I’ll make a stew when we get back. Robin likes my stew. It’ll make him feel better.”
“Long as it ain’t squirrel,” Allan chuckled.
“There is nothing wrong with a squirrel stew!” Much argued.
“That’s not what Robin says.”
“What do you mean? What did he say?” Much asked, looking mortally wounded. “He never complains about my stews. It's not like I use squirrel so much!”
“Don’t listen to him, Much,” Will said, clapping him across the back. “He’s just givin’ you a hard time.”
Much nodded, tugged his tunic down, and started toward Locksley. He knew where to find Robin. Their favorite spot overlooking the village. They used to call it the finest spot in England. As young boys they’d spent hours up there talking about their hopes and dreams… well, mostly Robin’s hopes and dreams. Much didn’t tend to dream too much. He knew he’d spend his days serving Master Robin. Not to say he didn’t dream now and then. Dreams of a warm hearth, a good meal, and maybe even a family of his own. Oh… and a warm bath, he thought. With rose petals. Or maybe lavender. He let himself smile just for a moment. But it was hard to think of those things now when he was living in the forest. With Robin. Always following Robin. That was a good thing to do. He believed that with all of his heart. And I must stay by Robin’s side. Robin needs me... maybe now more than ever.
Much knew he must make Robin see that without his help, the nobles' plans would go nowhere. Plans, Much thought. Robin had had such plans. Much recalled how he’d dreamed of the day they’d return from the Holy Land and the Lady Marian would be in his arms.
Much remembered all too well the nights Robin would cry out her name. He’d hidden his own jealousy, oftentimes waking Robin to hold him tightly. He could feel Robin’s heart pounding against his flesh, and he’d whisper that things would be alright once they returned to England. Robin’s heartbeat would slow, his breathing would grow steady until he fell asleep in Much’s arms. Marian will wait for you, Much would tell his master as he drifted off to sleep, though in truth, he wasn’t certain what they’d find.
Perhaps he secretly wished that Marian would be wedded, bedded, and have babes at her feet. But she didn’t. She claimed that Robin held no charms over her but Much could tell… he knew… Marian wanted Robin as much as Robin wanted her. They were both just too damn stubborn to come out and say it. There were times Much would’ve liked to just smack both of them and tell them to grow up! Admit it! They were in love.
Truly, Much did understand. He didn’t like it all that much, but he did understand. A woman’s comforting was something he craved at times himself… but it was different than the bond between two men who had grown up together since the cradle, who went to war together in a far-off land of unbearable heat and sand. They’d seen the atrocities of the King’s holy war. They’d seen men die grisly deaths. Whether Robin wanted to speak of it or not, those memories were not something they would free themselves from in the days they had left on this earth.
So many nights they’d held onto each other as if their lives depended on it, as if it might be their last night under heaven's stars…
I will do anything for you, Robin. Surely you know that. I have served you well, cared for you, saved your life. I have done things with you that God may not forgive us for. And while I blame the war--war that drives all reason from men--I know what those times meant to me… and I hope, to you. Much shivered as he remembered Robin’s gentle touch and the times they’d found comfort lying with each other to escape the horrors of the death and destruction around them. He sadly realized that he had no expectations of that same closeness now that they were back in England. Friendship would have to suffice.
Much shook off thoughts of what had been. How could he convince Robin that Edward was right? What can I tell him that Edward hasn’t? he wondered, knowing that Robin’s heart was crippling his good sense. Surely he must realize that we must save the King. We were sworn to do so in the King’s Guard. Has he forgotten that? And over some silly girl? Even if that girl is Marian, this is our King!
In his mind, Much played through the logical chain of events that should unfold. The King is back, his throne secured. Robin will get his lands back. Gisborne and the Sheriff will be arrested. Surely Gisborne will be found guilty, hanged ‘til he’s dead. Marian will then be free… Won’t she? Doesn’t Robin see that?
It made perfect sense until Much suddenly realized that Gisborne might flee! He might elude arrest. Will he take Marian with him? Much impatiently swiped a low tree branch out of his way. Surely she won’t willingly leave with Gisborne. Will she? Much shook his head as he jumped a fallen limb that lay across his path. Lamenting Marian’s response, his brain and feet missed a connection and he nearly tumbled to the ground. Oh God. Knowing Marian, if she is married, yes, she probably will leave with him! You know, duty and honor and all that, he told himself. Damnable duty. If she stays, she’ll live in shame, alone, with her father. She and Robin cannot be together because she will still wear Gisborne’s ring.
Oh dear… perhaps this is not so easy as I think! Much cried out to himself. Unless… Unless what? His feet took him forward but he felt as if he were pacing back and forth like a caged animal. Unless… annulment? Is treason against King and country grounds for annulment? How long does it take to annul a marriage? Would Marian even consider that? Agh! Women!
Much sighed deeply. Perhaps I should just talk to him about the King. Yes, making England right again. Securing his lands and his title. Robin at Locksley. Me at Bonchurch. Much paused for a moment to catch his breath and stared at the path leading to the top of the next hill. Marian with Gisborne. He felt the bile rise in his throat. He choked it back and kicked the dirt at his feet sending a small cloud of dust into the air. Frowning, he ran a sweaty palm across his forehead then forced himself to keep moving.
Robin’s last words at Knighton Hall tightened around his mind like a noose around a neck. I am sick of doing the right thing. Escape from those thoughts was all but impossible.
Much’s eyes grew moist. It was enough to tear a grown man’s heart to pieces. Robin looked so… so broken, so small. Not the man he’d known all these years. Robin was supposed to be the strong one.
Much forced back tears and shot a look toward the heavens. Oh God… dear God… help Robin. Help me help him. We- I mean, he has been through so much. What can I do to comfort my brother, my friend? he wondered. Could he find the strength to do the right thing, to say the right words, to see Robin through these hard times?
Talk to me, Robin… You are not alone. I’ll share your heartache. I’ll be here to listen. I won’t leave you…
Much stopped on the crest of the hill and spotted Robin. He sat there amongst the tall breeze-swept grasses with his arms across his knees, his head lowered. Taking a deep breath, Much wandered down the hill still searching for the words Robin needed to hear.
Let me hold you, Robin. I am on your side. I love you. When tears are in your eyes I’ll dry them all.
“I knew you’d be here.”
THE END