Denial II, Chapter 21: And the Stars Do Weep
Title: Denial II, Chapter 21: And the Stars Do Weep
Authors: robinfanatic
Characters/Pairings: Much/Robin
Rating: NC-17
Genre: angst, slash
Words: 1,340
Disclaimer: BBC & TA own; we just want to play in their universe
Notes: Beta'd by jagnikjen ; takes place after AU 2x13 but prior to 3x01
Introduction and chapter links for Denial II are here...
Summary: Much is trying to put his guilty feelings about Carter behind him but Robin's behavior has him confused; he just wants Robin to be happy.
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Chapter 21: And the Stars Do Weep
"Land," Much announced to the prone figure on the bed.
He was greeted with silence.
Robin continued to hide himself in the cabin these days. He'd only leave the darkened room when others slept soundly in their bunks. He'd roam the decks when he knew the stars and the moon would merely hang in the sky silently, unlike his companions who reminded him of the life...the love...he'd lost.
The small porthole that should have lit the room with the sun's warm rays was covered to keep the room black, just like Robin's spirits. Much had tried everything to convince his former master to keep company with the gang. Neither food, ale, nor games of chance enticed him. He slept. He sulked. He sobbed. Nothing Much did or said would comfort him, but he had to keep trying. It gave him something to do, something else to think about besides Carter.
"You can see it on the horizon," Much continued. "Captain says we'll dock in about two hours."
Still not a word.
"Brooks thought we might want to get some new clothes." Much ignored the quiet and talked as if Robin was taking part in the conversation. He moved toward Robin's bunk, surprised to see his former master's old sweat-stained tunic on the floor. It hadn't been there earlier. That was a good sign - Robin had been out of his bunk long enough to dig through his pack to find it. He'd insisted on keeping the old garment because, as filthy as it was, it smelled of Marian.
Much picked up the tunic, handling it like it was a precious jewel. He hung it on a hook near the foot of the bunk then pushed aside the covering over the porthole. White caps glistened on the blue-green sea and the waves crashed against the hull. "We do have some silver from the king. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if we used it for clothes. But I don't think we'll be in Messina long enough. Legrand thought Queen Eleanor might put her tailors to work for us in Poitiers. That will be weeks from now of course, but Messina - it will do us all good to walk around on dry land. I know I'll be glad--"
"Go away."
Pain washed across Much's face. Had Robin opened his eyes he would have seen it even in the dimly lit cabin.
Much chewed on his upper lip, then pulled himself up straighter and turned toward Robin. "I won't leave until you tell me that you'll get up. You like Messina...well except for that first time when we didn't understand one of the locals at the pub we stopped at--"
"Shut. Up. Much." Robin rolled over, smacking the wall of the cabin with his hand. He neither cursed nor cried out, merely pulled the scratchy, ship-issued blanket over his head.
Much stepped quietly across the cabin and sat down on the edge of the bunk. He pulled the blanket back and ran his hand across Robin's brow. "Please, Robin. I'm worried about you. We all are. Can I get you some stew? Or maybe an ale?"
Robin angrily pushed Much's hand aside.
“I can’t watch you like this-”
“Then don’t," Robin spat. "I never asked you to.”
Much was certain that he'd feel better himself if he could make Robin happy. He could move on, put the break up with Carter behind him.
He stared blankly at the cabin wall. Too many things reminded him of Carter. The night sky when stars appeared. The brilliant trail that moonlight cast across the sea. Blue eyes. Anyone's blue eyes. Lavender. Stop it!
Why should he feel guilty? He tried to tell Carter he was sorry that first night. Tried to explain. Carter didn't want to talk about it. He shut him out. Maybe their relationship wasn't that important to him - must have just been words, not really love. All words. If Carter could move on so easily then Much needed to be able to do that too. Brooks didn't know what he was talking about.
Much wasn't sure there was anything else to say anyway.
That was a lie. He twisted the gold band on his finger, pushed back the lump in his throat. Why wouldn't Carter let him say how much his life had changed, how he'd never known love like theirs. Would it make any difference if Carter listened? He'd at least feel better - or not feel so uncomfortable when they were in the same room. It still would not change the fact that Robin needed him now.
He glanced at Robin again. He'd demanded nothing since that night they'd slept together. He'd thrown insults, pushed him away.
Much never felt more alone.
But...if he loved Robin everything would be all right. Robin would see that, too. He had to make him see that.
“I want to be here…for you…in any way you need me.” Much pressed his lips to Robin’s forehead and tenderly rubbed a thumb along his stubbled jaw line.
“No…don’t…stop. Stop," Robin pleaded. "Go away. Please.”
“But I-I thought you wanted me-” Much choked back a sob. He felt so confused. Robin had taken him to his bed willingly but now he shunned Much, made him feel like a pox…a pox under my skin. The words haunted him. Much’s hand snaked to the tattoo on his arm. Semper Fidelis. Carter. Always faithful. Much shook off that thought. It was over. Over. He was with Robin.
“I don't need you.”
“Don’t say that.” Much tipped Robin’s head toward his. He buried his guilt and confusion in a passionate kiss, determined to prove that Robin was wrong. Or determined to convince himself that being with Robin would make everything all right.
Robin started to struggle but Much pinned his arms to the bunk. His tongue pressed against Robin’s lips, teeth grazing them until Robin gave in. He moaned as Much explored his mouth and when he relaxed Much released his tight hold on him.
Robin’s fingers slid toward Much’s groin but Much stopped him, gripping them tightly in his own hands. Much felt Robin’s surprise at his aggressiveness. His tongue licked a sensuous trail down Robin's neck. His mouth curled into a smile when Robin groaned pleasurably. Much pressed his tunic upward, giving him access to more warm flesh. His mouth latched onto one nipple then the other.
Robin writhed beneath his former servant’s touch, every muscle in his body beginning to ache with desire. Much was in control and Robin could not-would not-stop him.
Robin closed his eyes, arching his back as Much moved lower. He licked Robin’s abs, tickled the old sword wound, his tongue dancing across sensitive skin. His hands loosed laces and pressed Robin’s leggings past his hips. Much felt Robin’s stomach muscles tighten as his hands slid through Much’s blond locks and he encouraged him downward.
Much’s tongue teased the head of Robin’s cock. He slid it round the weeping member, then licked down the shaft.
“Oh...” Robin whimpered as Much’s mouth slid over the head and moved up and down the shaft. Robin canted his hips urging Much to take as much of him as he could. He held Much’s head while the man sucked him, gently plied his balls, and brought him closer to the edge. Robin nearly lost it when Much slid a finger into his arse and pumped it in, then out, slowly, rhythmically.
Robin’s breaths grew short. He gripped Much’s shoulders and gave one last groan before he released his warm seed. Much greedily swallowed it, then curled up onto Robin’s chest, his own erection pressed against Robin's thigh. Robin’s breathing grew steady and a light snore told Much that he’d fallen asleep.
Much sighed. Are you happy? ‘Cos you sure don’t seem happy. Brooks’ words He doesn’t love you…not the way Carter does.... Like he did. Much pushed back the tears that threatened to slip across his cheeks. He shivered, pulled the blanket up and tried to dream of better days.
on to chapter 22...