Denial II, Chapter 15: A Question of Loyalty
Title: Denial II, Chapter 15: A Question of Loyalty
Author: darkentwisted
Characters/Pairings: Robin/Much, Carter, Brooks
Rating: NC-17 (Moderate Slash NSFW)
Genre: Drama, Angst, (Terrible OTP Crushing Angst!)
Words: 1,707
Disclaimer: BBC & TA own; we just want to play in their universe
Notes: Beta'd by teamlavender. Takes place after AU 2x13 but prior to 3x01; the gang is on a boat headed toward the port of Marseilles
Introduction and previous chapter links for DII are here...
Summary: Stormy seas lie ahead with an unexpected twist.
A/N: Please don't hate me! Just think, la la la la la, happy endings la la la la la happy endings!
>>-------------------->
Chapter 15: A Question of Loyalty
"Robin..." Much closed his eyes as he opened the door. He could see Robin just as easily in his mind's eye as he could with his eyes open. So many times had he seen Robin this way. When he lost his father, the young lord would curl up on the big bed and stare at nothing. No crying, no sobbing, nothing. When he faced losing his birthright, he sat by the fire and focused on the flames. He was the same now, lying in his bunk and staring at the rough wood of the ship's hull.
"Go away, Much."
"You need to eat." Without asking, Much placed the plate beside Robin on the bunk. "You can't go on this way. Marian would..."
"Marian would what?" Robin's eyes glinted with hatred. "Tell me, Lord Bonchurch, what would my dead wife do? 'Cos you seem to be the expert on all things domestic now with your blasphemous lover."
"That is enough. You can say all the mean things you want and push me away, but it will not change anything and it will certainly not bring her back." Much snorted as he got up to leave. "Fine. Starve. I don't care. You're right. I do have somebody, and blaspha...blashphi...blasphemous or not, he loves me, and if you would stop being a spoiled nobleman for a moment you would have that too. Good day, Lord Locksley."
"I did have that..."
Much froze in his footsteps and turned to see Robin in tears.
"For one moment...one brief, shining moment she was mine, Much. I lost her...forever this time. Now what do I do?"
Much sat back down and cradled his grieving friend. "Let me help you." It was tentative at first. Much held his sobbing friend and smoothed his dark hair as he had when they were younger. Then things changed. Hands lingered on each others' bodies. Robin's soft kisses sought out Much's stubbled cheek and then his lips.
Suddenly, it was that night all over again. The searing heat of the desert was no comparison to that coming off Robin's fevered skin. Robin's voice was a thousand miles away and as close as skin. He heard Robin whisper how he needed this, oh, how he needed this. Much could only answer with his lips and with his soul. Reality disappeared in the wake of that fated evening still clear in his mind's eye. Robin so close, death and misery around them, their only comfort each other.
"I can't..." Much protested meekly as Robin's hands sought to undress him.
"Much..." The way he said it made every thought of Carter vanish. It was just them again in the desert. He was no longer Much the manservant, nor Lord Bonchurch, but Robin's lover. Much melted under Robin's touch.
Insistent need had them naked in moments. Long forgotten memory traced every curve of his body under Robin's fiery touch. Much caressed every scar on Robin's chest including the one that almost took him that night so long ago, but still seemed just like yesterday in his mind.
Much was instantly familiar to Robin and, yet, so different. He was no longer a dirty, uneducated serf now. Carter's breeding had done him well. Still, the man was the same and Robin knew exactly where and how to make him moan as he explored his body.
Much found himself splayed out naked on top of Robin as he played him like an instrument of lust. He took Robin's length greedily and hissed at the sensation of fullness. They moved gingerly at first then built up the rhythm, quickly matching each others' pace. It was as natural as breathing to the two men who, for so long, only had each other. They were more than old friends, more than manservant and master, they were one. "Robin... I ..." Much panted as their lips connected.
Robin moaned as he drove himself deeper inside. They came at the same time in silence, Robin avoiding Much's eyes. Neither man moved for a while as the regret of what they'd done sank in. Robin waited for Much to break the silence as he always did after times like this, but was surprised when he didn't. "Well?"
"Well, what?"
"Say something."
"There's nothing to say...to you." The pout Much usually displayed was now a sad brooding stare. "I must tell Carter what happened. He deserves to know."
"Why? You are no longer indebted to him," Robin impatiently pointed out. "You are a knight now, no longer his squire." He watched Much dress.
"That's why I need to tell him, Robin. Because of all that and more. How can I continue to feel for him as I do and still feel what I do for you?" He looked at his friend and sighed. "As the Bible says, man cannot have two masters."
"I am not your master anymore, Much, and neither is he."
"I know that," Much said as he once again brought his lips to Robin's. "But try telling that to my heart."
Upon leaving Robin's quarters, Much almost tripped over his own knapsack. He questioned, at first, why it was there, and then realized the decision was made for him. He sought out Carter and found him on deck leaning against the railing looking out at the ocean.
"My bags?"
"I figured you wanted to share quarters with Robin." His even voice hid almost every sign of the hurt he felt. "He needs you now, Much. I can't fight that." Carter turned to face Much. Only his eyes betrayed his deep sadness. "Tell me how could I ever fight what you and Robin have?"
"But I..."
"Don't." Carter frowned. "Anything else you could say would be lies, Much." He looked around and then gently stroked Much's cheek. "What we had was good. After I lost Charleton and Thomas, I never felt close to anyone. Then you came along. I never thought I could love someone again as I do you."
"Carter..." Much's large eyes were on the verge of tears.
"We will always be friends, Much." Carter smiled as he fingered the blond man's chin. "Locksley could never take that away from me."
"No...I don't...please..." Much stammered.
"I have to go now...my turn at watch." Carter smiled as he pulled away. "You'll see. You'll be alright. I'll be alright. I will always love you, Much."
Much took Carter's position at the rail, studying the waves and trying to discreetly wipe away the tears as they ran down his cheeks.
"It's always a question of loyalty, isn't it?"
The voice startled him. He looked behind him to see Brooks leaning against the ship's railing.
"How long have you been there, Charles?"
"Long enough." Brooks looked at his friend. "Much, if you want me to talk to him..."
"No. It's over." He focused wet eyes on the horizon. "Robin needs me now, more than ever. Marian's dead and I know him. He will not stop till he finds Vaisey and Gisborne and makes them as dead as she is. Even if that means killing himself in the process."
"And you are all right with that...knowing he might take you to Hell with him?"
"I don't know what is right anymore."
Brooks grasped his friend's bicep. "I'll look after him for you. If you change your mind."
"I don't know if that's a good thing or not." Much smiled, the irony temporarily breaking his sadness. "Take care of him, Charles."
Brooks looked around and then caught Much in a fierce kiss. They embraced and looked out at the sea. "You know I will. One of us has to."
>>-------------------->
The stars and salt air greeted Carter as he climbed the mast. This was their place on top of the world, now he stood there alone.
His mind went there - was Much in Robin's arms now? Was he kissing him? Did Robin love Much as he did? The stars blurred in front of him. He tried to make sense of the day as his own words echoed in his head. He wanted to grab Much, to hold him, to shove a dagger in Robin's gut for taking him away. But that wasn't his nature. A Wilton was nobler than that. They loved with their heart, faced death with honor, and never let others see their pain. Such was the nature of a family that hid their tears behind an expression of joy. He felt anything but amused as the wetness stung his cheeks in the breeze.
"Doing some laughing, I see."
"What do you want, Brooks?" Carter asked harshly as he wiped his eyes on his sleeve.
"Just came up to clear my head," the cheeky yeoman leered, "or snog someone elses."
"Well, it's my turn at watch and I don't want company."
"Then I'll leave you alone to your pity party." Brooks nodded seriously and moved to climb back down the rope ladder.
"He went back to him, Charles."
Brooks climbed back up at the words. "I know." He looked at the blackened sea around them. "I'm sorry."
"All our time together meant nothing. Much ran back to Robin as soon as he saw him."
"He'll come back if you asked him." Brooks embraced Carter from behind without asking.
Carter heaved a heavy sigh and welcomed the embrace from the man who was strangely becoming more than a friend to him. "I don't know if I want him to. They had no one but each other for so long. How can I compete with that?" Carter turned in his friend's arms. "No. I can't do it. It's over."
"How do you know for sure it's over?" Brooks tutted impatiently. "You're looking at the past. The past is over but the future hasn't been invented yet." He cuffed Carter's shoulder and winked playfully. "Trust me...I know all about the future."
"Right now, I feel like I have no future." Carter shook his head and studied Brooks' face in the pale moonlight. "What am I going to do without him?"
Brooks smiled. "Don't worry about that now. Just let it out. Laugh all you want, we have all night."
Carter nodded and placed his head against the other man's shoulder and wept.
To be continued...