Denial II, Chapter 10: Up On The Roof
Title: Denial II, Chapter 10: Up On The Roof
Author: wastingyourgum
Characters/Pairings: Djaq/Will, Little John/Legrand
Rating: R
Genre: Drama, Romance, Slash
Words: 1660
Warnings: Slash
Disclaimer: BBC & TA own; we just want to play in their universe
Notes: Beta'd by teamlavender; takes place after 2x13 but prior to 3x01
Introduction and previous chapter links for DII are here...
Summary: Later that night - Djaq, John and Legrand are all having trouble sleeping...
>>-------------------->
Chapter 10: Up On the Roof
Djaq perched herself on the low wall running around the edge of the house and stared out across the rooftops, enjoying the night-time noises of her home.
Home.
She'd come to think of the thick woods of England that way, but she'd barely set foot off the ship here before the sights, sounds and smells had assaulted her senses with such a feeling of homecoming that it took her breath away. She realised with a sudden pang that this sense of belonging was what she would be denying to Will. Cold winds, wet leaves and rustling branches were what spoke to his soul.
"What will speak to you, little one?" she whispered to her stomach as she stroked it. "Will you be a creature of desert or forest?"
"He'll be the best of both."
She turned sharply at the slurred voice and smiled as John held out a cup of water towards her, then sat down heavily on the flat surface of the roof, resting his back against the wall beside her.
"And how do you know it will be a boy, John?" she teased him.
He shrugged and admitted, "I don't," before taking a long drink from his own cup.
Djaq could tell from the strong scent of wine that John's drink was not water. She turned her attention back to the streets below.
"You shouldn't be up here. I thought it was Robin," John scolded her.
"No, I gave him something to help him sleep. He is exhausted."
"So are you. You've spent nearly every waking moment looking after Allan and in your condition--"
"Argh." She leaned down and punched his arm. "I knew you would be the first to say that awful phrase."
"What?"
"In your condition - I am in as good a condition as I have ever been."
"No, you're not." John continued before she could react, "You're better. You're...beautiful."
Whatever Djaq had been about to say was lost as she gaped at him open-mouthed.
John grinned at having rendered her speechless. "Now drink your water and then go get some sleep so you stay that way."
Djaq closed her mouth and shook her head as she chuckled and gave in. "Thank you, John." She drained the cup in small sips. "Are you all prepared to start your journey home tomorrow?"
"I was prepared to go home from the day we left," John replied. "But I'm glad I was able to see your home. I'll be happy you and Will and your children will be safe here."
Djaq laughed. "Children? I haven't even had the first one yet, John. Let me get this little one safely into the world and then we shall see." She got to her feet, smiling as she saw John debating with himself whether to offer her any assistance. She held her hand out to him and he put his out to support her with noticeable relief.
John looked up at her as she stepped past him to head back inside. "He, or she, will be a very beautiful and lucky child, Djaq - and the first of many, I'm sure. I couldn't be happier for you and Will."
"Thank you, John. I just wish you could be happier yourself."
He frowned. "Me? I'm not unhappy."
Djaq smiled sadly at him. "So why have you been drinking so much?" she asked.
John scowled. "There's not much else to do - not that it's any of your business," he replied.
"You are my friend, John - that makes it my business. Just as me getting enough sleep is your business."
John hung his head. "You're right. I'm sorry..." He looked up. "But I'm still not unhappy."
"Maybe so - but I think you could be happier," Djaq said, then headed down the stairs into the house.
John thought for a minute then shrugged, picked up the blanket she'd left behind and wrapped it around his shoulders. He sat for a while enjoying the gentle breeze and the open sky above him. It had been so long since he'd slept in a house, enclosed spaces still unnerved him more than he liked to admit.
So what if Richard hadn't pardoned them all? Even if he had, all it would mean was that John would find himself alone; too old to start over doing anything else and stuck in a tiny house that scared him. For a long time now all John had wanted was to die but he hadn't even been granted that. And now, instead of his former sinful thoughts of taking his own life, he found himself committing the sin of wondering just what was so bad about finding pleasure in the touch of another man.
He'd grown used to feeling dead - feeling damned was something else; something troubling, unnerving, confusing...intoxicating.
John had tried to convince himself the episode on the boat had been a mistake, a lapse in judgement, nothing more. He'd been lonely and hearing Will and Djaq in the next cabin had brought back all too vivid memories. Watching them get married had made him think of his own wedding - and his wedding night - but when he tried to picture Alice now she was too distant a memory. His thoughts instead went to the feel of Legrand's long body pressed against his, his scent, the surprising thrill when their lips met.
I suppose if I have to be damned, there are worse ways to do it...
John sat, lost in his thoughts, and slowly finished his wine until a noise from below made his head turn.
Legrand's head had barely cleared the top of the stairwell when he heard John's voice. "You couldn't sleep either?"
Legrand paused then climbed the last few steps. "No, I thought I might get some air. I didn't know you were up here." He sat down beside John who pointedly shuffled a few inches away from him. Legrand sighed and took a breath to say something but, instead, he sighed again and started to get up. "I'll...go sit in the courtyard or somewhere," he mumbled.
"Wait." John grabbed his arm. "I'm sorry. It's a big enough roof - we can both sit here."
"I'm making you uncomfortable, John. I have no wish to do that. I should go."
"No, it's just..." John frowned. "I don't know. I don't know what it is," he said heavily.
Legrand knew exactly what it was and had been cursing himself for it all day. "It's something you are not ready for - and might never be ready for," he said quietly. "I tried to force you into a decision. I'm sorry. That was wrong."
"No, I...it...it doesn't feel wrong," John blurted out. "And I know it should and it doesn't. And...and...I don't know if it's me and I've always been this way...or if it's something you're doing to make me feel like this...or if it's just that it's been so long or..."
John's hand tightened its grip and Legrand gasped as a flash of pain shot up his arm.
John let go. "Sorry. I'm sorry."
Legrand winced and rubbed his arm. "It's fine, John." He looked up to find John leaning towards him and staring at him. "What?"
John's head dipped towards his and then - suddenly, wonderfully - they were kissing.
Legrand felt as if the whole of creation had paused just for that one perfect moment.
John pushed him backwards to lie flat against the roof and lay beside him with one leg draped across Legrand's...and for Legrand the stars remained frozen in place above them as John's hand rested on his hip and he kissed him again.
Legrand could sense John's need to be in control so he relaxed, and let John's weight press him back against the roof. When Legrand opened his eyes, John's head was a dark silhouette against the night sky above him. Legrand could only faintly see John's face in the moonlight reflected from the white washed roof around them. His dark eyes were completely invisible.
"What on earth am I doing?" John said. He sounded puzzled.
Legrand smiled. He reached his hand up and touched John's face. "You're making me very happy - and I hope you'll let me make you happy in return."
"Could be happier..." John muttered to himself.
"What?"
"Nothing. Something somebody said." John lowered his head again.
Djaq grinned to herself as she ducked her head back down into the stairwell. She turned to go back down into the house, but couldn't resist sneaking another quick glance over the edge of the roof.
John lay half on top of Legrand. Their long legs were twined together and they were kissing passionately. John's arm was under Legrand's neck, supporting his head. His other hand alternated between stroking Legrand's hair and running down across his chest as the younger man ground his hips up against him. Legrand had both his hands tangled in John's hair but as Djaq watched, the hand closest to her snaked down between their chests and slid between their bodies.
John flinched and froze.
Djaq found she was holding her breath. She didn't let it out again until she heard a deep chuckle and realised it was John's, not Legrand's.
Both men murmured to each other then resumed their duelling of lips and tongues with as much passion as before.
I should leave them to it, Djaq thought. In a minute...
"Djaq?"
She jumped guiltily at Will's soft call from the foot of the stairs.
"'There you are. Are you not feeling well?" he asked, starting up the first few steps.
"I am fine, my love - I was just getting some air." She came down the stairs and took his arm as he held it out for her. "But now I think I would like to go back to our room. It is quite hot up on the roof as well."
"You do look a little flushed. Shall I get you some water?"
"No, there is plenty in our room already. I think I would just like to go and...lie down." She smiled suggestively at him as she led him back into their room.
Continued in Chapter 11...
Author: wastingyourgum
Characters/Pairings: Djaq/Will, Little John/Legrand
Rating: R
Genre: Drama, Romance, Slash
Words: 1660
Warnings: Slash
Disclaimer: BBC & TA own; we just want to play in their universe
Notes: Beta'd by teamlavender; takes place after 2x13 but prior to 3x01
Introduction and previous chapter links for DII are here...
Summary: Later that night - Djaq, John and Legrand are all having trouble sleeping...
>>-------------------->
Chapter 10: Up On the Roof
Djaq perched herself on the low wall running around the edge of the house and stared out across the rooftops, enjoying the night-time noises of her home.
Home.
She'd come to think of the thick woods of England that way, but she'd barely set foot off the ship here before the sights, sounds and smells had assaulted her senses with such a feeling of homecoming that it took her breath away. She realised with a sudden pang that this sense of belonging was what she would be denying to Will. Cold winds, wet leaves and rustling branches were what spoke to his soul.
"What will speak to you, little one?" she whispered to her stomach as she stroked it. "Will you be a creature of desert or forest?"
"He'll be the best of both."
She turned sharply at the slurred voice and smiled as John held out a cup of water towards her, then sat down heavily on the flat surface of the roof, resting his back against the wall beside her.
"And how do you know it will be a boy, John?" she teased him.
He shrugged and admitted, "I don't," before taking a long drink from his own cup.
Djaq could tell from the strong scent of wine that John's drink was not water. She turned her attention back to the streets below.
"You shouldn't be up here. I thought it was Robin," John scolded her.
"No, I gave him something to help him sleep. He is exhausted."
"So are you. You've spent nearly every waking moment looking after Allan and in your condition--"
"Argh." She leaned down and punched his arm. "I knew you would be the first to say that awful phrase."
"What?"
"In your condition - I am in as good a condition as I have ever been."
"No, you're not." John continued before she could react, "You're better. You're...beautiful."
Whatever Djaq had been about to say was lost as she gaped at him open-mouthed.
John grinned at having rendered her speechless. "Now drink your water and then go get some sleep so you stay that way."
Djaq closed her mouth and shook her head as she chuckled and gave in. "Thank you, John." She drained the cup in small sips. "Are you all prepared to start your journey home tomorrow?"
"I was prepared to go home from the day we left," John replied. "But I'm glad I was able to see your home. I'll be happy you and Will and your children will be safe here."
Djaq laughed. "Children? I haven't even had the first one yet, John. Let me get this little one safely into the world and then we shall see." She got to her feet, smiling as she saw John debating with himself whether to offer her any assistance. She held her hand out to him and he put his out to support her with noticeable relief.
John looked up at her as she stepped past him to head back inside. "He, or she, will be a very beautiful and lucky child, Djaq - and the first of many, I'm sure. I couldn't be happier for you and Will."
"Thank you, John. I just wish you could be happier yourself."
He frowned. "Me? I'm not unhappy."
Djaq smiled sadly at him. "So why have you been drinking so much?" she asked.
John scowled. "There's not much else to do - not that it's any of your business," he replied.
"You are my friend, John - that makes it my business. Just as me getting enough sleep is your business."
John hung his head. "You're right. I'm sorry..." He looked up. "But I'm still not unhappy."
"Maybe so - but I think you could be happier," Djaq said, then headed down the stairs into the house.
John thought for a minute then shrugged, picked up the blanket she'd left behind and wrapped it around his shoulders. He sat for a while enjoying the gentle breeze and the open sky above him. It had been so long since he'd slept in a house, enclosed spaces still unnerved him more than he liked to admit.
So what if Richard hadn't pardoned them all? Even if he had, all it would mean was that John would find himself alone; too old to start over doing anything else and stuck in a tiny house that scared him. For a long time now all John had wanted was to die but he hadn't even been granted that. And now, instead of his former sinful thoughts of taking his own life, he found himself committing the sin of wondering just what was so bad about finding pleasure in the touch of another man.
He'd grown used to feeling dead - feeling damned was something else; something troubling, unnerving, confusing...intoxicating.
John had tried to convince himself the episode on the boat had been a mistake, a lapse in judgement, nothing more. He'd been lonely and hearing Will and Djaq in the next cabin had brought back all too vivid memories. Watching them get married had made him think of his own wedding - and his wedding night - but when he tried to picture Alice now she was too distant a memory. His thoughts instead went to the feel of Legrand's long body pressed against his, his scent, the surprising thrill when their lips met.
I suppose if I have to be damned, there are worse ways to do it...
John sat, lost in his thoughts, and slowly finished his wine until a noise from below made his head turn.
Legrand's head had barely cleared the top of the stairwell when he heard John's voice. "You couldn't sleep either?"
Legrand paused then climbed the last few steps. "No, I thought I might get some air. I didn't know you were up here." He sat down beside John who pointedly shuffled a few inches away from him. Legrand sighed and took a breath to say something but, instead, he sighed again and started to get up. "I'll...go sit in the courtyard or somewhere," he mumbled.
"Wait." John grabbed his arm. "I'm sorry. It's a big enough roof - we can both sit here."
"I'm making you uncomfortable, John. I have no wish to do that. I should go."
"No, it's just..." John frowned. "I don't know. I don't know what it is," he said heavily.
Legrand knew exactly what it was and had been cursing himself for it all day. "It's something you are not ready for - and might never be ready for," he said quietly. "I tried to force you into a decision. I'm sorry. That was wrong."
"No, I...it...it doesn't feel wrong," John blurted out. "And I know it should and it doesn't. And...and...I don't know if it's me and I've always been this way...or if it's something you're doing to make me feel like this...or if it's just that it's been so long or..."
John's hand tightened its grip and Legrand gasped as a flash of pain shot up his arm.
John let go. "Sorry. I'm sorry."
Legrand winced and rubbed his arm. "It's fine, John." He looked up to find John leaning towards him and staring at him. "What?"
John's head dipped towards his and then - suddenly, wonderfully - they were kissing.
Legrand felt as if the whole of creation had paused just for that one perfect moment.
John pushed him backwards to lie flat against the roof and lay beside him with one leg draped across Legrand's...and for Legrand the stars remained frozen in place above them as John's hand rested on his hip and he kissed him again.
Legrand could sense John's need to be in control so he relaxed, and let John's weight press him back against the roof. When Legrand opened his eyes, John's head was a dark silhouette against the night sky above him. Legrand could only faintly see John's face in the moonlight reflected from the white washed roof around them. His dark eyes were completely invisible.
"What on earth am I doing?" John said. He sounded puzzled.
Legrand smiled. He reached his hand up and touched John's face. "You're making me very happy - and I hope you'll let me make you happy in return."
"Could be happier..." John muttered to himself.
"What?"
"Nothing. Something somebody said." John lowered his head again.
Djaq grinned to herself as she ducked her head back down into the stairwell. She turned to go back down into the house, but couldn't resist sneaking another quick glance over the edge of the roof.
John lay half on top of Legrand. Their long legs were twined together and they were kissing passionately. John's arm was under Legrand's neck, supporting his head. His other hand alternated between stroking Legrand's hair and running down across his chest as the younger man ground his hips up against him. Legrand had both his hands tangled in John's hair but as Djaq watched, the hand closest to her snaked down between their chests and slid between their bodies.
John flinched and froze.
Djaq found she was holding her breath. She didn't let it out again until she heard a deep chuckle and realised it was John's, not Legrand's.
Both men murmured to each other then resumed their duelling of lips and tongues with as much passion as before.
I should leave them to it, Djaq thought. In a minute...
"Djaq?"
She jumped guiltily at Will's soft call from the foot of the stairs.
"'There you are. Are you not feeling well?" he asked, starting up the first few steps.
"I am fine, my love - I was just getting some air." She came down the stairs and took his arm as he held it out for her. "But now I think I would like to go back to our room. It is quite hot up on the roof as well."
"You do look a little flushed. Shall I get you some water?"
"No, there is plenty in our room already. I think I would just like to go and...lie down." She smiled suggestively at him as she led him back into their room.
Continued in Chapter 11...