Question about Relationships
Hi all, haven't been posting here in ages. I have a question for people that an answer is greatly needed.
So the day since I came back to Seattle from Christmas break, I found somebody on MySpace (don't laugh to much please), and thought that things were ok overall. We had a few bumps, but they were for the most part fixed within 20 minutes. For the past week and a half she's been asking how I am cause she said she felt like I was pulling away. I assured her I was still strong but had class and such to take care of, so although I couldn't talk as much, but I would still be there. Last Sunday and Monday she tells me that she doesn't feel anything really anymore, but give her time. Me being me, I said sure just be respectful, and don't ask for 2 months, disappear and say nope. She agreed and said it wouldn't be like that.
So this week was low key, and just trying to make conversation. Was a bit odd at times, but we made it through. Today while we were talking she brought up that a guy gave her his number while she was out at Red Robin. She at first said "see a guy gave me his number, and it means nothing, but who really knows." Then moments later she said they actually made plans for later this week. Again she reverted to oh it's nothing, he'll never call. As this went on, I asked if anything similar like this happen. She said yes, three times.
The first time happened just after she and I met, and she took a trip to visit a guy in Vancouver, who she had been talking to just over a year. She called me on her way back home (Bellevue), and told me everything that happened. I kind of hinted at what all happened, she said there was hugging and kissing but nothing beyond that. Well today, that story changed and they did do more than just that, which I assumed.
The next two times is after she told me I was the only guy, and she wasn't looking at anybody else. The second time, a guy, who she met in November/December, randomly came over and they made out. The third time is the worse I believe, I was heading out to grab a smoothie, she calls and tells me this guy (who turns out to be married and they messed around just before Thanksgiving) had IMed her and said he wanted a hj and was on his way over. I told her to not answer and he'd go away. She said that was her plan. I could hear the knocking. After 10 minutes he went away. She waited a few, and saw his car buzz off. We talked a while more to get her calm so she could sleep. The next morning she told me he never came back. But today the story changed to he came back a bit later, she let him in, and gave him what he wanted, another hj, which I believe happened. By now I was hurt amongst many other things.
She claimed to have the right to mess around with the last two guys, because even though we were really interested in each other, we weren't official. So to her you can mess around with others until you say I will go out with you. Seeing if her logic worked both ways, I asked what happens if I told her I was with 5 women in the past 3 weeks. Her answer was "ouch, but you do what you have to do." Appalled by this I said I would never do that, simply waiting is the thing I would do. She said she's technically single, can do that stuff (doing stuff with different guys), she doesn't feel remorse for doing stuff. She claims that she feels bad for lying, but can I trust that, nope, cause she hid it for that long and told me that nothing happened. We said this is it, she was going in circles with her reasons, shortly after that.
My question: If you are talking to somebody for some amount of time, a month in my case, is it alright if you or the other person mess around with others, if you are trying to build a relationship? Not talking like a drunken kiss at a party, but things like I talked about.
What a great pre-birthday present...