dreams that involve pipes
Quick little update...
So at work I got asked to be a fill in for being a leadman, which involves calling in trailers to doors and handing out bills and such. Second day doing it not so much running on my own but more or less doing so. Go figure the day I gotta do it is one of the crazy days, and sure trial by fire, but what's funny is doing it yest they were talking bout me doing it full time. There's more involved with that issue, but what's relevant is in doing it I seriously doubt I will, cause shit got crazy hectic and I screwed some shit up, not enough to halt production but makes me realize more issues about myself, such as dealing with pressure. I usually thought of myself as pretty good under pressure, but I'm kind of realizing that's not the case. I hate to blame it on past events of emotional breakdown but its like my shell for dealing has thinned significantly, or rather in retrospect was perhaps not as thick as I once thought.
Kind of humbling, though I'm fairly certain that's not the right word for it. I kind of don't know how to handle it right now. Normally I believe I would kind of freak out and self depreciate, though I'm trying not to do that. In fact, I'm just kind of disappointed, and not really knowing what to think.
I'm kind of just in limbo right now. not really feeling, or rather not really sure what to feel.
Perhaps more later once I'm able to delve into these thoughts.
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