(no subject)
I'm tired.
I'm tired of thinking.
I am tired of "What If?"
I am tired of those fucking women who are always like "Oh I wish I Could Find a Guy Like You"
I am tired of other peoples problems.... I have my own problems so fuck off.
I am tired of this, here, now.
I am tired of being single.
I am tired of being lonely.
I am tired of the feelings I have for a woman who will not follow her better judgement and say "yes".
I am tired of sitting around wondering "Now What?"
I am tired of looking for work.
I am tired of not knowing.
I am tired of not knowing where to look for work.
I am tired of not knowing where to look for women.
I am tired of women not willing to take a chance.
I am tired of sitting here.
I am tired of this lack of a social life.
I'm tired.
Yah, so.... I don't know anymore. Don't know this, don't know that. I don't know what she thinks of me or if she even thinks of me anymore. I don't know what to do with myself, my life. I wish that easy button from those damned commercials really existed cuz I sure could use one right now. My complaints and my problems may seem small and easy to fix to those who know me. But I just can not seem to find a solution. Well.. My solution to work is to find a job. I don't like alotta people. Most people I can stand but that doesn't mean I like them.
I wish..... I could control time and go back to those moments where everything was fine.... not a care in the world except for that moment and that person.
I don't like to think... because I overthink everything and then I become depressed because I realize how sad and pathetic my life is. It has no meaning.... No Purpose.
I've often wondered... why is it when people who cut their wrists lay in a tub of water? Why don't they just go to the nearest dock, slice their wrists and jump into the water.... let whoever finds your body worry bout the clean-up.
I wonder when she overcame her fear of committing to a serious relationship.... or maybe she hasn't and it's not as serious as it seems. I wonder why she never told me about any of this. I wonder if she still cares as much about me as she used to.
I find myself often lost in thought.... thinking, wondering, pondering,concidering, thought creating.
I think about the here, the now, the then, the when, the where, the how, the future.
I think about her and I wonder.... why the fuck do I feel jealous when I think of her dating another man. I know I still care about her deeply but why? It's not like I know a whole lot about her... Hell I don't know as much as I thought I did.
I need work. Quarry Life isn't for me at all.... never going back. Never gunna work in fish again also.... definately not my thing even though I did do that kinda work more than others throughout the years.
My head hurts and so do my eyes.
I just wish......
I'm tired of thinking.
I am tired of "What If?"
I am tired of those fucking women who are always like "Oh I wish I Could Find a Guy Like You"
I am tired of other peoples problems.... I have my own problems so fuck off.
I am tired of this, here, now.
I am tired of being single.
I am tired of being lonely.
I am tired of the feelings I have for a woman who will not follow her better judgement and say "yes".
I am tired of sitting around wondering "Now What?"
I am tired of looking for work.
I am tired of not knowing.
I am tired of not knowing where to look for work.
I am tired of not knowing where to look for women.
I am tired of women not willing to take a chance.
I am tired of sitting here.
I am tired of this lack of a social life.
I'm tired.
Yah, so.... I don't know anymore. Don't know this, don't know that. I don't know what she thinks of me or if she even thinks of me anymore. I don't know what to do with myself, my life. I wish that easy button from those damned commercials really existed cuz I sure could use one right now. My complaints and my problems may seem small and easy to fix to those who know me. But I just can not seem to find a solution. Well.. My solution to work is to find a job. I don't like alotta people. Most people I can stand but that doesn't mean I like them.
I wish..... I could control time and go back to those moments where everything was fine.... not a care in the world except for that moment and that person.
I don't like to think... because I overthink everything and then I become depressed because I realize how sad and pathetic my life is. It has no meaning.... No Purpose.
I've often wondered... why is it when people who cut their wrists lay in a tub of water? Why don't they just go to the nearest dock, slice their wrists and jump into the water.... let whoever finds your body worry bout the clean-up.
I wonder when she overcame her fear of committing to a serious relationship.... or maybe she hasn't and it's not as serious as it seems. I wonder why she never told me about any of this. I wonder if she still cares as much about me as she used to.
I find myself often lost in thought.... thinking, wondering, pondering,concidering, thought creating.
I think about the here, the now, the then, the when, the where, the how, the future.
I think about her and I wonder.... why the fuck do I feel jealous when I think of her dating another man. I know I still care about her deeply but why? It's not like I know a whole lot about her... Hell I don't know as much as I thought I did.
I need work. Quarry Life isn't for me at all.... never going back. Never gunna work in fish again also.... definately not my thing even though I did do that kinda work more than others throughout the years.
My head hurts and so do my eyes.
I just wish......