(no subject)
Since sleep isn't going to come right now and my head is still pounding I figure now is as good a time as any to make a small confession. Don't except too much I still have to keep a little bit of my cryptic side.
I'm in love with someone. In love with the idea of being with that person even if I know from the get go it just wouldn't work. There's too much difference, she's an amazing friend but to take it any further kind of scares me. I know we're looking for two completely different things but as many times as I tell myself that I can't get her out of my head. Someone asked me in my last post who am I always pining for and well it's her. She never fails to throw me a curve ball when I least expect it and I will admit to loving the way she keeps me on my toes. But as much as I want it to work, the first step is always the hardest to take. I kind of hope she knows this is to her, I don't see how she couldn't but I think in a way she's at the same place I am, too afraid to just take one step forward when it's so much safer just to stay where you are. I wanna know her, everything about her, from her worst memory to how she takes her coffee. But I'm to scared to ask, to afraid of being shut down and losing one of the most beautiful friendships I have ever had.
There's someone else too, someone who recently has really caught me off guard. A relationship with her would probably be a much easier path, seeing as we're both in the same place in our life. But the fact is I don't want to enter a relationship while I'm still hung up on someone else and I don't know how to just stop the feelings I'm having for that someone else.
And I've learned lately that the easier road is not always, or often for that matter, the best choice.
I'm in love with someone. In love with the idea of being with that person even if I know from the get go it just wouldn't work. There's too much difference, she's an amazing friend but to take it any further kind of scares me. I know we're looking for two completely different things but as many times as I tell myself that I can't get her out of my head. Someone asked me in my last post who am I always pining for and well it's her. She never fails to throw me a curve ball when I least expect it and I will admit to loving the way she keeps me on my toes. But as much as I want it to work, the first step is always the hardest to take. I kind of hope she knows this is to her, I don't see how she couldn't but I think in a way she's at the same place I am, too afraid to just take one step forward when it's so much safer just to stay where you are. I wanna know her, everything about her, from her worst memory to how she takes her coffee. But I'm to scared to ask, to afraid of being shut down and losing one of the most beautiful friendships I have ever had.
There's someone else too, someone who recently has really caught me off guard. A relationship with her would probably be a much easier path, seeing as we're both in the same place in our life. But the fact is I don't want to enter a relationship while I'm still hung up on someone else and I don't know how to just stop the feelings I'm having for that someone else.
And I've learned lately that the easier road is not always, or often for that matter, the best choice.