Breakups
On Saturday morning, I brought my romantic relationship with Joanne to an end.
[... waiting for the cacophony to die down as numerous cheats, smarms, and creepers start to line up]
I apologize to anyone who felt misled by my omission of this change from conversations over this past weekend, or perhaps confused by other behaviors. Historically, Joanne takes a much slower, more hands-on approach to sharing such changes, so I waited until we could talk to post this.
As for the relationship, what's to say besides "it just wasn't going to work out for us." It's almost too straightforward, plain, and simple to seem right. I've bungled a number of breakups, and they all seemed more complex. But it's true.
I want Joanne to be happy. I also wanted to be happy. For that to happen, I felt I needed to be out of the picture. It's not a "bang PRESTO!" but I hope it will set in motion some developments for the better. After talking for a bit, we both feel respect and care for each other, which I think will help us each find new happiness without interference from our past.
At the same time, Joanne is very afraid of having to deal with the line that has now formed. In her words, she doesn't look forward to having to have her guard up around men all the time. So I'd ask you all, as friends, to not drive the poor girl insane: in other words, run interference (read "cock-block") for a few months (yes, she's on-board with me asking this), and certainly, DON'T BE THAT GUY.
As for me, I'll need some time to mentally distance myself from the relationship. It's both to give my own emotional being a chance to distinguish a clear end, and to prevent the blur. (In case you've never experienced hopping from relationship to relationship, there's sometimes a degree of unintentional, mental blurring, which is not at all healthy.) With luck, I'll have another or a new job in the near future, which will allow me to see a counselor for a while; basically, just want to make sure that I'm not self- or partner sabotaging. Also, for those of you wondering about "that," Joanne is aware, she's okay with it, and - albeit tricky - I am doing everything I can to approach in the healthiest possible manner for both parties.
So. Logistics. Joanne's a very close friend, and - for the time being - my roommate. PLEASE, do not bash her to try and make me feel good (I highly doubt I'll encounter that, but I figured I'd throw it out there in case). We're looking for a roommate to live with her. That person found, I'll be moving out on my own again. Until then, I'll be moving myself into the spare bedroom of our apartment.
As for Estrella, I will most likely be camping with Dancing Goat. Zippy and Lindsay, I want the two of you to know that I like you, I like camping with you, I like hanging out with you, I really like crafting with you, I like hanging out with your kids, and I like helping with Ermine's Rest. But I feel that camping together at Estrella would just bring unnecessary awkwardness to bear on those around.
[... waiting for the cacophony to die down as numerous cheats, smarms, and creepers start to line up]
I apologize to anyone who felt misled by my omission of this change from conversations over this past weekend, or perhaps confused by other behaviors. Historically, Joanne takes a much slower, more hands-on approach to sharing such changes, so I waited until we could talk to post this.
As for the relationship, what's to say besides "it just wasn't going to work out for us." It's almost too straightforward, plain, and simple to seem right. I've bungled a number of breakups, and they all seemed more complex. But it's true.
I want Joanne to be happy. I also wanted to be happy. For that to happen, I felt I needed to be out of the picture. It's not a "bang PRESTO!" but I hope it will set in motion some developments for the better. After talking for a bit, we both feel respect and care for each other, which I think will help us each find new happiness without interference from our past.
At the same time, Joanne is very afraid of having to deal with the line that has now formed. In her words, she doesn't look forward to having to have her guard up around men all the time. So I'd ask you all, as friends, to not drive the poor girl insane: in other words, run interference (read "cock-block") for a few months (yes, she's on-board with me asking this), and certainly, DON'T BE THAT GUY.
As for me, I'll need some time to mentally distance myself from the relationship. It's both to give my own emotional being a chance to distinguish a clear end, and to prevent the blur. (In case you've never experienced hopping from relationship to relationship, there's sometimes a degree of unintentional, mental blurring, which is not at all healthy.) With luck, I'll have another or a new job in the near future, which will allow me to see a counselor for a while; basically, just want to make sure that I'm not self- or partner sabotaging. Also, for those of you wondering about "that," Joanne is aware, she's okay with it, and - albeit tricky - I am doing everything I can to approach in the healthiest possible manner for both parties.
So. Logistics. Joanne's a very close friend, and - for the time being - my roommate. PLEASE, do not bash her to try and make me feel good (I highly doubt I'll encounter that, but I figured I'd throw it out there in case). We're looking for a roommate to live with her. That person found, I'll be moving out on my own again. Until then, I'll be moving myself into the spare bedroom of our apartment.
As for Estrella, I will most likely be camping with Dancing Goat. Zippy and Lindsay, I want the two of you to know that I like you, I like camping with you, I like hanging out with you, I really like crafting with you, I like hanging out with your kids, and I like helping with Ermine's Rest. But I feel that camping together at Estrella would just bring unnecessary awkwardness to bear on those around.