Awkward SuJu Thought...
Okay, so I hit the wrong button and now I have to rewrite this entire thing again even though the first time was good enough.
I was looking up pictures of Super Junior and I suddenly get this thought in my head that is exceedingly random and it goes exactly like this, "Understanding SuJu is like dying."
.....
........
O_O
So now I am trying to reexplain this to myself.
No one in the world or in a lifetime will ever be able to understand SuJu because SuJu isn't one person or two or three, it's fifteen. Understanding one person is hard enough, nay impossible, because humans aren't telepathic so we don't understand what's going through everyone's head (unless we're Martians, but no one cares about them >.< ). Understanding them is like understanding death. No one knows what's going to come (unless you're the producers, but even they don't know everything that's going to happen) and no one knows what are the effects.
Being obsessed with SuJu was like dying for me. In movies, those characteristics of dying always seem to be: fatigue, tiredness, laziness, lack of motion, lack of emotion, a tendency to fall asleep at random moments...plus a ton of other things. You could be wondering what kind of movies I've been watching to get that strange list (it's not that strange really) but then again it doesn't really matter. I stayed up until I nearly fell asleep at my laptop in the early hours of a morning watching SuJu videos, then fell asleep at school, and was probably slacking off because I wasn't even bothering to pay attention. I even determined that talking with my normal group of friends was not worth the energy because they always told me the same things and nothing interesting ever came up. For the most part, even though this sounds mean, I really just seemed to ignore them. Curiously, I always thought that it was worth it. I always believed that without SuJu I would of just died at school from too much boredom and routine and life would go on as I became this gray unseen blot on a radar. SuJu was excitement for me, something that was funny and bright and happy when I couldn't muster enough of those things in daily life to cover the point of a needle. Whenever I needed something to raise my spirits I would think about what happened during the latest thing I watched and I would involuntarily smile like an idiot in the hallways. If SuJu was like dying, then perhaps I wouldn't mind dying at all.
It's like drowning in a vat of chocolate. Some of us love chocolate and embrace this gigantic wave of sweetness and they don't mind that they are covered to their heads in it or that they are slowing getting more and more engulfed. For the rest of us that hate chocolate or dislike it, we are still drowning in a vat of chocolate, so even if it's a fun ride we know we shouldn't get so sucked in because it's bad for us (you know, like getting us off track of more productive things in life, even though that is an arguable point) so we don't plan on eating any of the chocolate, but swimming in it is pretty fun, right? A complete obsession. In the end I don't mind drowning in that vat of chocolate, don't mind being obsessed with SuJu because they as a band make me happy. I don't know them personally so I can't really say that they make me happy because what fans see doesn't have to be what they are really like, just an image that the company wants to project (maybe, no one knows, 'It's a mystery.'
Perhaps understanding SuJu is a bit like dying because there is nothing to calculate, nothing that you can predict (unless you commit suicide, but even then something could go wrong and you wouldn't end up dead). It's like a haze of confusion and befuddlement and while the majority of us crawl around on our knees trying to get somewhere without accidentally falling off a cliff, others like to run forward in that haze and others just sit quietly on the ground. Sometimes you have to wonder, who will die first? The ones that crawl around cautiously searching for the light or the end, or those that run jovially? Or is it those that don't bother to move, and just sit on the ground, waiting for some predator to find them, or for the world to fall underneath them? Is it random? SuJu is like that, a sporadic move, an epiphany of light and confuddlement that either entertains us or angers us (in the OMG I can't believe you did/say that!). I think I just convinced myself that knowing SuJu is like dying because for some of us, SuJu is kind of the only thing we have left.
I was looking up pictures of Super Junior and I suddenly get this thought in my head that is exceedingly random and it goes exactly like this, "Understanding SuJu is like dying."
.....
........
O_O
So now I am trying to reexplain this to myself.
No one in the world or in a lifetime will ever be able to understand SuJu because SuJu isn't one person or two or three, it's fifteen. Understanding one person is hard enough, nay impossible, because humans aren't telepathic so we don't understand what's going through everyone's head (unless we're Martians, but no one cares about them >.< ). Understanding them is like understanding death. No one knows what's going to come (unless you're the producers, but even they don't know everything that's going to happen) and no one knows what are the effects.
Being obsessed with SuJu was like dying for me. In movies, those characteristics of dying always seem to be: fatigue, tiredness, laziness, lack of motion, lack of emotion, a tendency to fall asleep at random moments...plus a ton of other things. You could be wondering what kind of movies I've been watching to get that strange list (it's not that strange really) but then again it doesn't really matter. I stayed up until I nearly fell asleep at my laptop in the early hours of a morning watching SuJu videos, then fell asleep at school, and was probably slacking off because I wasn't even bothering to pay attention. I even determined that talking with my normal group of friends was not worth the energy because they always told me the same things and nothing interesting ever came up. For the most part, even though this sounds mean, I really just seemed to ignore them. Curiously, I always thought that it was worth it. I always believed that without SuJu I would of just died at school from too much boredom and routine and life would go on as I became this gray unseen blot on a radar. SuJu was excitement for me, something that was funny and bright and happy when I couldn't muster enough of those things in daily life to cover the point of a needle. Whenever I needed something to raise my spirits I would think about what happened during the latest thing I watched and I would involuntarily smile like an idiot in the hallways. If SuJu was like dying, then perhaps I wouldn't mind dying at all.
It's like drowning in a vat of chocolate. Some of us love chocolate and embrace this gigantic wave of sweetness and they don't mind that they are covered to their heads in it or that they are slowing getting more and more engulfed. For the rest of us that hate chocolate or dislike it, we are still drowning in a vat of chocolate, so even if it's a fun ride we know we shouldn't get so sucked in because it's bad for us (you know, like getting us off track of more productive things in life, even though that is an arguable point) so we don't plan on eating any of the chocolate, but swimming in it is pretty fun, right? A complete obsession. In the end I don't mind drowning in that vat of chocolate, don't mind being obsessed with SuJu because they as a band make me happy. I don't know them personally so I can't really say that they make me happy because what fans see doesn't have to be what they are really like, just an image that the company wants to project (maybe, no one knows, 'It's a mystery.'
Perhaps understanding SuJu is a bit like dying because there is nothing to calculate, nothing that you can predict (unless you commit suicide, but even then something could go wrong and you wouldn't end up dead). It's like a haze of confusion and befuddlement and while the majority of us crawl around on our knees trying to get somewhere without accidentally falling off a cliff, others like to run forward in that haze and others just sit quietly on the ground. Sometimes you have to wonder, who will die first? The ones that crawl around cautiously searching for the light or the end, or those that run jovially? Or is it those that don't bother to move, and just sit on the ground, waiting for some predator to find them, or for the world to fall underneath them? Is it random? SuJu is like that, a sporadic move, an epiphany of light and confuddlement that either entertains us or angers us (in the OMG I can't believe you did/say that!). I think I just convinced myself that knowing SuJu is like dying because for some of us, SuJu is kind of the only thing we have left.