Fic: Into the Nothing [3/54]
Title: Into the Nothing
Author: Reyane Hokkain (Nekoi Hiokans)
Rating, M for sex, violence, alcohol use, and drugs
Chapter 3 - Cover Up the Wounds
November, 2010
It's been two weeks since my "faithful" introduction to Alfred F. Jones. You know, you think the kid would want to stay away from the self-claimed devil, but no. He's been stalking me around the school, jilting whatever female flavor of the week that is following him around, just to get a look inside my head. It's annoying, but at the same time amusing. He keeps asking a million questions, sometimes is the same question in a different format. But he's persistent.
And maybe that's what it's going to take. His persistence. Anyone from Lincoln can tell you that my walls don't come down easily, but when they do, I am the greatest friend one could ask for. I'll admit that I'm testing him. Seeing if he has any value beyond his pretty face. And to my pleasant surprise, he does. He's a great listener, his attention never shifting to someone else during our conversations. There are other little things, but they fade against the fact that he actually listens.
Also, he isn't trying to get into my pants. For once in my life, minus my three gay best friends, there is a guy who isn't trying to hop into bed with me. It's different. If I were more of an old-fashioned type, I would say that he could be almost courting me. Except he's not. He's just trying to poke his way into my head and figure out what makes me tick. But I have moments when I'm just chilling in my room wondering what it would be like if Alfred actually did like me. Call me strange, but I'm just a girl with a crazy imagination.
------
"Reyane! Wait for MEEEE!!!" Day number fifteen of Alfred's attempt to peer inside my head. Our mornings always start like this. I don't how he manages to miss me walking from the lot every morning, but he does, and he always reacts the same way.
"Well, pay a bit more attention and you won't have to play catch-up." Alfred glares at me in a non-threatening way and I only laugh. I can't take him being angry seriously. He's too jolly for that. But the moment I start laughing, his glare drops and he smiles.
"You should do that more." I give him a questioning look through my laughter. "Laughing you dork. It looks good on you." My laughter dies down as a slight blush begins to take its place. "You're blushing." And of course he would have to point it out. I turn away from him and head towards the building, him following and laughing in my wake.
-----
The day goes by like normal, a few weird looks from some people who have nothing better to do, some whispers that I'm turning Al into a devil worshiper, just stuff like that. But for some odd reason, it's weighing a lot more on me today. And Al, having one of his strange moments of perceptions, notices.
"Hey, what's on your mind?" I give a sort of half-glance at him from where I'm knelt down in front of my locker, digging out the books I'll need for my homework. "Yoohoo, Earth to Reya? What's eating ya?" I slip the lighter books into my bag before standing up and looking at the blond, a weary expression across my face.
"Been a long day." I bend over to pick up the Brit. Lit and French books before shutting my locker and heading for the doors. Al doesn't accept my half-assed answer and follows me to the door.
"Seriously, what's bugging you? You've been sort of blah since Calc." I stop before the door and feel myself tremble slightly. "Reya?" I can feel him behind me. He's close enough to touch. But I keep face toward the outside.
"Why are you following me?" He steps back. I can almost imagine the quizzical look on his face as he tries to think of an answer. "Why Jones? Are you just trying to poke around in my head and figure out how I work? What reason do you have for following me like I'm the flavor of the week?" I spun around to face him, anger laced through my features. He took another step back before answering.
"Maybe I just want to be your friend? Maybe I saw how lonely you were. I don't know what it's like to be wrenched away from my friends, but if I ever had to be, I would like it if one person would try to be my friend wherever I had to go!" I took a step back myself, toward the outside, my head shaking slightly as I went.
"I don't need your pity! I never asked for you to be friends with me! I never asked you to follow me around!" Without giving a him a chance to
retort, I spun back on my heel and stormed away, leaving a stunned Alfred in my wake.
---------
I didn't see Al until school started back up after Thanksgiving. I tried avoiding him, but that managed to fail in first hour when he strode over to my desk and sat on it, demanding my full attention.
"I heard you went back to Lincoln for break." I glared at him, who gave him the right to comment on what I did in my free time? I looked back down at the open book in my lap, hoping that the oaf on my desk would get the hint and leave me alone. As such, he seemed to not notice. "Reyane...are we going to play the silent treatment game?" I looked up at him from under the hood of my lashes.
"No, we're going to play the leave me the hell alone game, which means you are going to sit your ass in your seat and not talk to me." He seemed to get the hint finally and he got off my desk and sat in his own. Class started a few minutes later. I tried my hardest to not look at Al, but halfway through Mr. K's lecture my head turned of its own accord and I caught the sad look on Al's face. I struggled to keep my face blank, even as he threw a paper ball on my desk. He made a motion for me to read it. I rolled my eyes as I picked it up and scanned through it.
~Reya,
Sorry that I made feel as if I was pitying you. I really just wanted to be your friend. This whole town talks about you as if you are the devil or something, but I don't see it. I know that I'm kinda stupid and I don't catch always catch the hint, but I think that you're lonely. You built a different sort of life for yourself in Lincoln and you were forced to leave it behind. I can't imagine that, I don't want to imagine that. But it happened to you. I just want you to know that you don't have to be alone here. I know I can replace the people you go back to see so much, but I still want to try to be a friend for you here.
I'm really, really sorry about the fight.
Sincerely,
Alfred Franklin Jones~
I felt my mask break as I read the note. I turned away from Al and folded the piece of paper, slipping it into my notebook. Al's words had touched something inside of me. Was I really that lonely here? Is that why I went back to see everyone on Lincoln so much? I didn't look at Al until the end of class. He gave a me a small smile before getting up and heading to our next class. And for some unknown reason, I felt myself smile back.
---------
I was supposed to be breaking him, but I think he's breaking me instead. And yet, I don't feel the urge to flee. I don't know what this feeling is, but I'll find out before you know it. It's just so strange. I don't want to push him away and I don't want to run. I can't make any sense of this, none at all.
But what does make sense is this, I am the flame in this and he is my moth. I can only pray that he doesn't get burnt.
Author: Reyane Hokkain (Nekoi Hiokans)
Rating, M for sex, violence, alcohol use, and drugs
Chapter 3 - Cover Up the Wounds
November, 2010
It's been two weeks since my "faithful" introduction to Alfred F. Jones. You know, you think the kid would want to stay away from the self-claimed devil, but no. He's been stalking me around the school, jilting whatever female flavor of the week that is following him around, just to get a look inside my head. It's annoying, but at the same time amusing. He keeps asking a million questions, sometimes is the same question in a different format. But he's persistent.
And maybe that's what it's going to take. His persistence. Anyone from Lincoln can tell you that my walls don't come down easily, but when they do, I am the greatest friend one could ask for. I'll admit that I'm testing him. Seeing if he has any value beyond his pretty face. And to my pleasant surprise, he does. He's a great listener, his attention never shifting to someone else during our conversations. There are other little things, but they fade against the fact that he actually listens.
Also, he isn't trying to get into my pants. For once in my life, minus my three gay best friends, there is a guy who isn't trying to hop into bed with me. It's different. If I were more of an old-fashioned type, I would say that he could be almost courting me. Except he's not. He's just trying to poke his way into my head and figure out what makes me tick. But I have moments when I'm just chilling in my room wondering what it would be like if Alfred actually did like me. Call me strange, but I'm just a girl with a crazy imagination.
------
"Reyane! Wait for MEEEE!!!" Day number fifteen of Alfred's attempt to peer inside my head. Our mornings always start like this. I don't how he manages to miss me walking from the lot every morning, but he does, and he always reacts the same way.
"Well, pay a bit more attention and you won't have to play catch-up." Alfred glares at me in a non-threatening way and I only laugh. I can't take him being angry seriously. He's too jolly for that. But the moment I start laughing, his glare drops and he smiles.
"You should do that more." I give him a questioning look through my laughter. "Laughing you dork. It looks good on you." My laughter dies down as a slight blush begins to take its place. "You're blushing." And of course he would have to point it out. I turn away from him and head towards the building, him following and laughing in my wake.
-----
The day goes by like normal, a few weird looks from some people who have nothing better to do, some whispers that I'm turning Al into a devil worshiper, just stuff like that. But for some odd reason, it's weighing a lot more on me today. And Al, having one of his strange moments of perceptions, notices.
"Hey, what's on your mind?" I give a sort of half-glance at him from where I'm knelt down in front of my locker, digging out the books I'll need for my homework. "Yoohoo, Earth to Reya? What's eating ya?" I slip the lighter books into my bag before standing up and looking at the blond, a weary expression across my face.
"Been a long day." I bend over to pick up the Brit. Lit and French books before shutting my locker and heading for the doors. Al doesn't accept my half-assed answer and follows me to the door.
"Seriously, what's bugging you? You've been sort of blah since Calc." I stop before the door and feel myself tremble slightly. "Reya?" I can feel him behind me. He's close enough to touch. But I keep face toward the outside.
"Why are you following me?" He steps back. I can almost imagine the quizzical look on his face as he tries to think of an answer. "Why Jones? Are you just trying to poke around in my head and figure out how I work? What reason do you have for following me like I'm the flavor of the week?" I spun around to face him, anger laced through my features. He took another step back before answering.
"Maybe I just want to be your friend? Maybe I saw how lonely you were. I don't know what it's like to be wrenched away from my friends, but if I ever had to be, I would like it if one person would try to be my friend wherever I had to go!" I took a step back myself, toward the outside, my head shaking slightly as I went.
"I don't need your pity! I never asked for you to be friends with me! I never asked you to follow me around!" Without giving a him a chance to
retort, I spun back on my heel and stormed away, leaving a stunned Alfred in my wake.
---------
I didn't see Al until school started back up after Thanksgiving. I tried avoiding him, but that managed to fail in first hour when he strode over to my desk and sat on it, demanding my full attention.
"I heard you went back to Lincoln for break." I glared at him, who gave him the right to comment on what I did in my free time? I looked back down at the open book in my lap, hoping that the oaf on my desk would get the hint and leave me alone. As such, he seemed to not notice. "Reyane...are we going to play the silent treatment game?" I looked up at him from under the hood of my lashes.
"No, we're going to play the leave me the hell alone game, which means you are going to sit your ass in your seat and not talk to me." He seemed to get the hint finally and he got off my desk and sat in his own. Class started a few minutes later. I tried my hardest to not look at Al, but halfway through Mr. K's lecture my head turned of its own accord and I caught the sad look on Al's face. I struggled to keep my face blank, even as he threw a paper ball on my desk. He made a motion for me to read it. I rolled my eyes as I picked it up and scanned through it.
~Reya,
Sorry that I made feel as if I was pitying you. I really just wanted to be your friend. This whole town talks about you as if you are the devil or something, but I don't see it. I know that I'm kinda stupid and I don't catch always catch the hint, but I think that you're lonely. You built a different sort of life for yourself in Lincoln and you were forced to leave it behind. I can't imagine that, I don't want to imagine that. But it happened to you. I just want you to know that you don't have to be alone here. I know I can replace the people you go back to see so much, but I still want to try to be a friend for you here.
I'm really, really sorry about the fight.
Sincerely,
Alfred Franklin Jones~
I felt my mask break as I read the note. I turned away from Al and folded the piece of paper, slipping it into my notebook. Al's words had touched something inside of me. Was I really that lonely here? Is that why I went back to see everyone on Lincoln so much? I didn't look at Al until the end of class. He gave a me a small smile before getting up and heading to our next class. And for some unknown reason, I felt myself smile back.
---------
I was supposed to be breaking him, but I think he's breaking me instead. And yet, I don't feel the urge to flee. I don't know what this feeling is, but I'll find out before you know it. It's just so strange. I don't want to push him away and I don't want to run. I can't make any sense of this, none at all.
But what does make sense is this, I am the flame in this and he is my moth. I can only pray that he doesn't get burnt.