I am weary...
I am not doing well. I have to go in it looks like again on the heart thing. There is a branching artery off the anterior descending which is blocked. I go into the renal doctor to see if they will give the ok...since I have kidney dysfunction.
I just brought mom home friday from the hospital. She went in for testing but they found a cornary artery with 95% blockage. She was at death's door and the cardiologist had not picked up on in it in a previous test. She is still with us but has many other problems
Dad is only so-so. They removed a three inch by one inch section of his left arm due to melanoma. He had open heart in december.
I just got back home from the grocery store and my brother decided to tell me how useless I am at the top of lungs. I know he is financially strapped so am I. I think something happened with his son so he is taking it out on me.
I don't know how long I can hold on to my sanity. I pray to God...but sometimes I do think death would be a release. My health is failing, my job is failing, my personal life is failing. I needed something postive to happen this week. My enroller on an insurance case did nothing in premium after I went to the trouble to set this all up. So there is no income next week. I have been slighted yet again. I am going to look for another job...the economy is shutting out my accounts. Business owners are in a horrible state. There is too much negativity in the markets.
My brother hit a nerver last night...I didn't know weather to deck him or not. I had just brought mom home the day before...she was listening to all this. I do believe Satan is in my brother's heart and is trying to get into mine. I had horrible thoughts. I am not a small guy. If I hurt him he would not be able to work which would only hurt his kids.
We are older men but still there is all this sibling stuff. If he does not like it here he can move.
The house would be sold if it was not for the real estate market in the dumper. I know there is not enough funds to run a house this size. I have played nanny for his kids for nine years without any thank you. The parents need to be in hospice. I need to just get in the car and go. He can deal with his kids...they are teenagers and this should not be the responsiblity of sick people.
God, please hear my prayers. This servant is about to go under. Everyone else I know has gone on with their lives and I am still at home taking care of parents. It has been since 1998 all this started with dad's stroke. I gave up the hope of ever marrying and having a normal life. My time has ran out in many ways. Please GOD ...I need something positive this week...your son...was beaten down...I feel beaten down...abandoned by friends and family. I did the right thing...I did the right thing...lift my eyes up......
I just brought mom home friday from the hospital. She went in for testing but they found a cornary artery with 95% blockage. She was at death's door and the cardiologist had not picked up on in it in a previous test. She is still with us but has many other problems
Dad is only so-so. They removed a three inch by one inch section of his left arm due to melanoma. He had open heart in december.
I just got back home from the grocery store and my brother decided to tell me how useless I am at the top of lungs. I know he is financially strapped so am I. I think something happened with his son so he is taking it out on me.
I don't know how long I can hold on to my sanity. I pray to God...but sometimes I do think death would be a release. My health is failing, my job is failing, my personal life is failing. I needed something postive to happen this week. My enroller on an insurance case did nothing in premium after I went to the trouble to set this all up. So there is no income next week. I have been slighted yet again. I am going to look for another job...the economy is shutting out my accounts. Business owners are in a horrible state. There is too much negativity in the markets.
My brother hit a nerver last night...I didn't know weather to deck him or not. I had just brought mom home the day before...she was listening to all this. I do believe Satan is in my brother's heart and is trying to get into mine. I had horrible thoughts. I am not a small guy. If I hurt him he would not be able to work which would only hurt his kids.
We are older men but still there is all this sibling stuff. If he does not like it here he can move.
The house would be sold if it was not for the real estate market in the dumper. I know there is not enough funds to run a house this size. I have played nanny for his kids for nine years without any thank you. The parents need to be in hospice. I need to just get in the car and go. He can deal with his kids...they are teenagers and this should not be the responsiblity of sick people.
God, please hear my prayers. This servant is about to go under. Everyone else I know has gone on with their lives and I am still at home taking care of parents. It has been since 1998 all this started with dad's stroke. I gave up the hope of ever marrying and having a normal life. My time has ran out in many ways. Please GOD ...I need something positive this week...your son...was beaten down...I feel beaten down...abandoned by friends and family. I did the right thing...I did the right thing...lift my eyes up......