Giving things too much thought makes me think I'm so pathetic...
I'm not a fan of strangers in my home. But hey, this isn't my home, is it?!? Here you go sir, here are my keys, to everything I own.
There are about 70 different emotions floating around in me just for this fact alone. None of them are good... and none of which I really want to add thought to right now....
12 hours at work today. Looking at my calender makes me happy for the most part. But all the sudden the two jobs and other events on every day for two weeks doesn't seem so nice. Not going to complain though, this was the easiest and most productive 12 hours I've had in a long time, and after all, I did sign myself up for it.
Plus it does feel amazing at the end of the day to realize I didn't spend money I would have probably wasted on useless things -like food, because I was too busy making a lot more money that I wouldn't have made otherwise.
I don't know what level this is that I'm operating at right now, but it's definitely not normal, probably not even natural. Maybe it's the tired that's preventing me from stressing out too much -or thinking straight, maybe it's that I've already exhausted myself from stress over the past few months that there just isn't any left, or maybe I've just become immune to it finally.
Clinging to all the positive thoughts is currently working well enough to keep this little ship afloat. May seem slightly unrealistic, but I am very aware of the situation as I have giving lots of thought into using this as my survival plan.
All I feel capable of is closing my eyes, clearing my mind, and not thinking about anything too much. All that matters is that in a while it will all be over with.
Two weeks... it will all be worth it. Then I can figure out the next step is. And honestly I'm going to be okay with whatever it is, as long as it's not this, or here anymore. Even if it's just a baby step out of Gilbert I would be happy.
Tonight's happy sleepy bringing me into dream thoughts: What, oh what, should I pack... and why can't I just pack it all up already?
I always thought the whole idea of it seemed so creepy. But not with you. You can definitely keep me.
There are about 70 different emotions floating around in me just for this fact alone. None of them are good... and none of which I really want to add thought to right now....
12 hours at work today. Looking at my calender makes me happy for the most part. But all the sudden the two jobs and other events on every day for two weeks doesn't seem so nice. Not going to complain though, this was the easiest and most productive 12 hours I've had in a long time, and after all, I did sign myself up for it.
Plus it does feel amazing at the end of the day to realize I didn't spend money I would have probably wasted on useless things -like food, because I was too busy making a lot more money that I wouldn't have made otherwise.
I don't know what level this is that I'm operating at right now, but it's definitely not normal, probably not even natural. Maybe it's the tired that's preventing me from stressing out too much -or thinking straight, maybe it's that I've already exhausted myself from stress over the past few months that there just isn't any left, or maybe I've just become immune to it finally.
Clinging to all the positive thoughts is currently working well enough to keep this little ship afloat. May seem slightly unrealistic, but I am very aware of the situation as I have giving lots of thought into using this as my survival plan.
All I feel capable of is closing my eyes, clearing my mind, and not thinking about anything too much. All that matters is that in a while it will all be over with.
Two weeks... it will all be worth it. Then I can figure out the next step is. And honestly I'm going to be okay with whatever it is, as long as it's not this, or here anymore. Even if it's just a baby step out of Gilbert I would be happy.
Tonight's happy sleepy bringing me into dream thoughts: What, oh what, should I pack... and why can't I just pack it all up already?
I always thought the whole idea of it seemed so creepy. But not with you. You can definitely keep me.