Congratulations. Even though many people have made me angry, sad, a combination of the two, no one has made me so mad, sad, overcome with emotion, to scream at him or her in front of a class. (Even in the Darkest Days of the STR Research saga, no, I never screamed at one of my groupmates in front of the class and our teacher - who would be horrified, probably.)
Let me correct that: no one has made me so overcome with emotion to scream at him or her in front of a class during an oral report. (I am just thankful that my teacher said kind words to me afterwards, telling me that what I reported on was right anyhow.)
Such a dubious honor, and I award it to people (if only it had only been one, but no, it's almost the whole enchilada - block) I thought would never make me feel this way.
Key word here? Thought.
I should be embarrassed, and I am (but not because I shouted in front of the class). I should be angry now, but I'm not.
I'm just sad.
Maybe that's worse.
Hey, limbic system? Could you stop cranking out this sad feeling I'm experiencing? Yeah, like that will work.
Anger, I'm an Aries. I don't put stock much in Astrology anymore (although I have many books attesting to a long-ago belief in it) but Aries people are said to be quick to anger, yet their anger burns out quickly. I don't easily get angry, but the latter bit's true.
Sadness... that takes a while longer to disappear.
I just know, though, that what happened today would never happen to any other person here, so I wonder what my classmates thought of me that made it ok for this to happen.
Maybe I'm too much of a doormat. Maybe.
Maybe I'm just not right for this.