continued
“This time you brought a good student Axel, took him half the time it took that fag. He would spend half the day fantasizing about guys and the other half talking about clouds and jellybeans” Neriad chuckled.
“Everyones a critic, in any case off we go” Axel concluded and they vanished.
“Crash down on them Potter, tear their beaches to shreds” Neriad said grimly as he ordered the damage repaired.
Harry appeared on a familiar beach along with Axel. And he saw the familiar sight of a group of people near death training their heads off.
“Magots!!! Front and center” he shouted.
The group of half dead Aurors gathered around as best they could.
“You are to be privileged in seeing me and Harry Potter, my apprentice do battle to see how his training is going. Let me reiterate something, you are not worthy to even see this performance as you are so far beneath us on the evolutionary scale that we are rather unaware of your existence” Axel said grimly.
The blonde girl with grey eyes that had spoken up at the pub was the only one that didn’t look demoralized. Her name was MaryAnn Roony, the top Auror of the group.
In a flash Harry and Axel vanished and waves began to collide with each other in the middle of the water. Thunderous clashes rang through the air. It was like being in the middle of a hurricane. People were flying left and right, blasted by the force that was being generated by the clashes. The speed of the fight was incredible, they could not be seen at all. And then it all calmed down and Harry fell from the sky and landed on his feet on the beach.
“One of these days ill beat you” he chuckled as he dusted himself off.
Axel appeared next to him, “Keep dreaming Potter”
MaryAnn came dashing forward. “That was amazing, when do I learn that?”
“When you get older” they both said laughing at the joke.
“MarryAnn, Harry you will be I each others care for the next 8 months” Axel said as reality faded and they were on a beach Harry recognized.
“Kewl, so when does the drinking start?” she replied looking around, not phased anymore.
Harry lifted an eyebrow, “This could be challenging” he concluded out loud.
Axel rolled his eyes, “Roony, pay attention woman or ill have him make you run drills without sleep for the next month” he threatened.
That got her at attention, but also caused a look of questioning cross her face.
Axel saw it and proceeded to correct it. “Roony, your job for these 8 months are to teach Harry two things. One all the laws and regulations of Oceania, the second is to teach him how to power spell” he summarized.
“Oh, so my learning thing is done” she said with a smile. “No worries Harry, I will have you ready for battle in no time, the first thing we will need is beer” she told Axel.
“What do you mean by power spelling?” Harry asked.
“Watch and learn” MaryAnn said and then cast a stuning spell. But the spell was huge, and the effect rippled as it hit the water.
Harry understood, if he had that ability, added to his power….
Axel lifted his hand and 5 huge spells cast out and blasted the water up into giant columns.
“Wow, wicked” Both Harry and MaryAnn commented.
“Roony, you will be learning more on fighting from Harry, the goal of this is for each of you to learn what needs to be learned” Axel summarized and then vanished.
“I hate it when he does that” both of them said and then looked at each other and laughed.
“Well pleased to meetcha Harry” she started.
“A pleasure, MaryAnn” he replied.
“Speeking of pleasure, I feel like a good fuck. You game?” she said non-challantly.
Harry just smirked, “Maybe later girl. Work now, beer and sex later” he said nonplussed as he walked to the cave knowing the books would be there, taking off his shirt as he walked.
She stared at him open mouthed. She wanted to shock him, but she was cowed by his quick reaction and the reality of what he had just said and admiring the flawless back of the hero that had just hinted they might shag in the near future.
“Oh this will be fun” she smirked as she followed him.
It took only a couple of days for Harry to learn all the rules and regulations of the area.
“Blimey, you must have been a book worm back at school” MaryAnn teased when she finished quizzing him in the cave. He had mastered all the theory at last.
Harry just laughed, “Not really, I was like you, more into pranks and having fun than anything else. But just like you I had to deal with Axel as a teacher” he replied
They both shuddered at the thought. Over the days that had come to know each other. She had gotten to learn a bit about the backround of the hero everyone was talking about. But he had learned a lot more about her. She was the youngest of her family with 5 older and very mischievous brothers. She had been a bit of a tomboy in school because of it. Tough, wicked, and fun loving, she had been just another one of the boys. Still Harry saw the true sadness deep withing her, and at times she would see her smiling sadly at him and then have the look be replaced by a sad smile.
“In any case, its about time we started with your training. While we do that you can teach me how to shoot stronger spells like you do” Harry explained.
“Sounds like a plan, so how do we start?” she said excitedly.
“By getting naked” Harry said evily as he turned and walked out of the cave stripping down as he walked.
MaryAnn just stood there dumbfounded till she ran to the entrance to finish watching the show. Harry was naked now as he reached the water and started to bathe. She stood and gawked at him.
“Fly’s will get in if you don’t close that and you best get naked and come and get cleaned up” he teased.
“Budah, ehm ell ah” she stuttered.
Harry just laughed and dipped his head under the water.
“Come on MaryAnn, didn’t figure you for the shy type. We are going to see each other naked eventually. The training we are going to do tends to destroy clothes in the process” he explained, this time leaving no room for misinterpreations.
The sad look returned to her face, and Harry knew why. She would have preferred to misinterpret for a while, to believe. Seing that sadness, a sadness and loneliness that reminded him so much of….Rose. He quickly shook his head to vanish the thought. He didn’t want to start pitiying himself again, he needed to focus and so did MaryAnn, neither of them had the time to mope.
“Well, I guess you are the boss, if you say so I guess its best if we get the formalities out of the way” she said trying to joke around as she clumsily started to remove her clothes.
Harry made up his mind, part of him felt sorry for her, part of him wanted to help her, part of him wanted to forget for a bit, another part just wanted to let go of the sadness that both of them had so they could work. And for those and a thousand other reasons Harry began to slowly emerge out of the water a seductive grin on his face.
MaryAnn stopped undressing and just stared, stared at the pefection, the perfection asentuated by scars and muscle, his complete nude form, and once again she was gawking.
Harry laughed and walked up to her. He kissed her, he kissed her like no bloke had ever kissed her because none ever had, not really. He tore off her clothes as she desolved into her first true kiss. And after a quick couple of spells she fell onto a blanket and Harry took her and proceeded to shag her rotten for a few hours, each loosing themselves, each healing the sadness. He of all the pain and heartbreak, she of a life of being one of the boys, never truly desired, never truly loved, never truly seen as the beautiful woman she was. Never seen.
“I see you” Harry said before he took her again. She smiled the truest smile she ever had and tears fell from her eyes as she abandoned herself to the pleasure.
The next morning, she awoke refreshed, a bit sore, but happier than she ever had been. She reluctantly got dressed and went looking for Harry who was sitting on the beach meditating.
When she saw him again, she was filled with joy, but also regret, fear, and depression.
Harry sensed her, without opening his eyes he said, “MaryAnn, sit, we have to talk”
Her heart now weighed a ton and she fell onto the sand. She prepared herself to be broken and rejected again. To be just another shag.
Harry opened his eyes and stared into her sad ones, before she looked away.
“Come on, just lay it on me” she said bitterly.
Harry smiled sadly and moved to her and cradled her face, staring deep into her sad eyes.
She was surprised by the gentle gesture and just let his hand guide her.
Harry sighed, “Yesterday was great, and you have nothing to feel bad about. You are a beautiful girl MaryAnn. Honestly I think a lot of blokes would love to take you out, but I also know you have probably been going about it all the wrong ways” he said.
“Huh?” she said confused.
“Look for starters we have to clear the waters. We both know that this isn’t going anywhere” Harry said bluntly.
She smiled, “Of course, I know that you still love her. Besides you and I have different battles to fight” MaryAnn said trying to make it easier on Harry. He had seen her, and for that she would be greatfull, though part of her felt sad that it couldn’t go anywhere.
Harry read her like a book, “I wish I could give you more luv, but I cant. But if I could, you would be so worth it” he said as he stroked her cheak and kissed her.
She melted into the gesture, she had had many one night stands and open relationships, but they were always just sex, there was no tenderness, no admiration, Harry treated her as more than that.
“I know, so now tell me what you mean by going about it all the wrong ways” she said finally loosing herself to her curiosity.
Harry smirked, “You have been selling yourself cheap, and you have been doing it wrong” he surmised.
“Huh?” she replied
“You deserve more than one night stands, but the problem is you don’t know how to go about getting something more. The problem is that you never learned how to be seductive, how to be girly. You always just come off as this tomboy that has a good body and is open to having a good shag, BUT you have not used any seductive powers and you don’t know how to present the assets that you have” he explained.
She lifted her eyebrow, a bit of annoyance taking up her face, “And you do? Oh please to explain oh great and wise Potter, how I have been screwing it up” MarryAnn said annoyed.
Harry smirked, and in a flash he was in front of her, he bent and whispered in her ear, “Don’t move” sending a chill down her spine.
She then felt magic moving all around her, she closed her eyes and waited, hoped.
“Done, you can open them now” she heard him say.
She opened them and was now staring into a mirror that had been conjured.
Her hair that was normally tightly bound into a blonde pony tail, now hung loose and curly down to her back, magicked longer than the bob she was used to. Hey face, used to never wearing make up, was now clean and covered in light make up and eye shadow that made her eyes shine. Her body that was tone, fit, and voluptuous was now in a tight black dress that hugged her every curve. She would never have been caught dead in something like that, she would settle for trousers and a blouse or shirt most of the time. She was also on heals, something she never wore. She felt like she was staring at a familiar stranger, a gorgeous one.
Harry appeared behind her. “Walk into a bar like that, and the blokes will come to YOU, not the other way around. Then all you need to do is play a little hard to get and make them earn it. Get to know them, see if you click or not. Don’t sleep with them on the first night, do it when you know they are worth your time and that they want more than just your body” he explained.
“Is this really me?” she asked shocked at the beauty she had buried underneath.
“Yep, the only thing different is the longer hair and the rest is just accessorizing which another witch would be able to do far better than me” he said simply.
She turned and kissed him. “Thank you” she whispered.
“You are welcome, now then, let me vanish this so we can start training” Harry said taking a step back.
A wild look went into MaryAnn’s eyes, “I was thinking we could vanish it and do something else” she said with a seductive smile.
Harry laughed, “Do that in a club and the guys will fight it out just to buy you a drink” he said smirking.
She bit her lip, “So, you game?” she added sultrily.
Harry kissed her and sighed, “Fine, but after that we start training”
“Deal” she replied and then pulled him into her.
Ron was ecstatic, he was sitting in his Marauder office just basking in the glory of the moment. It had been a hard run. He had had to work his ass off, look at countless videos, helped coach countless practices, missed talking to Hermione on countless nights, but it was done, and it was worth it. He had won…..every league he had teams in. Now all that was left was the World Cup. The parties he had experience had been legendary. The best one though had been the Black Marauder party. They had all sat in the conference room, every single member except for Harry, just drinking, hearing Ron tell stories of all the season highlights and congratulating him. It felt amazing to be seen and complemented for his work, he finally felt like he had amounted to something, like he did something. He was finally the center of the positive attention, and he loved it.
It was in this moment of bliss that a very angry Hermione Granger came storming into the office waving the Daily Prophet in her hand.
“You bloody two timing sodding bastard!!!” she screamed as she dumped the paper into his lap.
Ron was in shock, and scared shitless. He slowly looked down and beheld something that made the color drain from his face. On the front page of The Prophet was a picture of him celebrating the League win with the Cannons, he was lip locked with a girl and had another two girls on each arm. He didn’t bother to read the headline, the picture spoke a thousand words.
“Her..He…Hermione, luv, please let me explain” he said an then ran after her.
Ginny was back at school and bored out of her mind. As she lay on the couch lounging, all her homework done, even ahead of schedule. It is amazing what one can do when one is single and wanting to forget. Finally, after counting the ceiling stones didn’t work, she got up and sighed. She only had one recourse, she needed to prank the existence out of the school. Out of thin air a phonenix appeared dropped a package and left.
Ginny smiled evilly, Harry had heard her prayers. Not that she considered him a god or anything….well almost. But in any case she quickly read the instructions, her smile growing by the minute and then she was off to prepare it.
Later than night, as dinner was being served and the Great hall was bustling with people. And then boom a purple gas filled the entire castle. Every window and door magicked to not let it out. As the mist faded everyone looked around expecting the worst…they weren’t disappointed. Every person was now a different color, shade or pattern. Instead of their regular skin color they now all looked like a super creative painting. Then laughing erupted, and didn’t stop.
Minerva approached Ginny, trying to contain the unnatural laughter.
“Miss Weasley, do you know anything about this?” she asked in between the roaring laughter that wanted to escape.
Ginny looked at her laughing from the bottom of her soul at the teacher with purple skin with pink cats over it.
“I am afraid not Headmistress, this prank is way above my lowly skill” she pleaded innocently.
“Your brothers?” she asked hopefully.
“I believe it is also above theirs” Ginny replied.
Minerva sighed bitterly, if it was Harry then this was not going to be an easy fix and would likely last a good long while. “I sometimes hate my life” she mumbled and walked away laughing and brooding.
Fred and George had been extremely responsible, to the point that Sirius had come to visit and congratulate them on getting their act together in such a short while. They were just entering the store when Pixy ran and hugged Fred and started snogging him senselss.
Fred smilled like a fool, George gagged, and Sirus chuckled.
“Wha…who…whe” Fred managed.
“Fred you wouldn’t believe it, this lady came over and offered money and we are going international” she replied all in one breath.
George lifted an eyebrow and immediately came to attention. “What did you say? What do you mean you are going international?” he asked angrly.
“She means what she said. We have been bought out and put in charge of making our shop an international franchise you dumbass” Anastasia said as she came up behind her sister.
“Who the hell would do that?” George said disgruntled.
“That would be me” said a voice that made the hairs on the back of Sirius’s neck stand up and he let out a growl.
“Down boy, down, bad dog” the voice added.
“Dogg-erry to what do I owe the displeasure of hearing you again” Sirius growled as he walked up to face her.
George for his part faced off against Anastasia.
Fred and Pixy were lost in their own little world.
“So you want to face off then?” Sirius said grimly.
“Hell yea, we will be the pranking champions of the world” Catherine said uncharacteristically.
“So this means war then?” Sirius barked back.
“You bet your Black mutt ass it means war” Catherine growled back.
“You dare to try and declare war on me” he goaded her on.
“I declare war on all of you” she screamed back.
Sirius smiled evilly, profoundly evilly and mirth came into his eyes. Magic vibrated in the very air, and there was a flash of light and the sign of the Marauders appeared above Sirius. A call to arms
It was then it hit her, she remembered an oath that was taken decades ago and was sealed by one Lilly Potter. She made all the Marauders swear to never prank Lilly, Catherine, or any of their friends ever. In return, Lilly agreed to go out with James and Cat agreed to go out with Sirius. They even agreed to try and hook up Remus and Peter. But Sirius really enjoyed pranking Cat, and enjoyed her trying to prank him back, failing more often then not unless Lilly secretly helped her. So he added in a clause, that if them or any of their friends ever pranked them, or in fact declared open war in any other way, then the Marauders could unleash their worst.
“Thank you Dogg girl, this is going to be fun” Sirius said darkly.
“Merlin save us all” Catherine mumbled in shock, a shock of having the past come back to haunt her. Not only the oath, but all the good times she had with Sirius came rushing back.
Back in England Remus saw the flash and looked up at the Maruder crest. He sighed, “Poor Catherine, she unleashed him again, and he will drag us all into it” he said smiling grimly.
Immediately, Sirius mumbled something, dragged the Twins inside and the sky started rumbling. Then its started to rain on top of Cathering and the twins. They ran into the store only to notice that they were now covered in several colors of paint. They rushed outside with umbrellas and saw that it was in fact raining paint, and it was only raining on top of them and the shop.
“He is good” Anastasia said in awe.
“Too good, oh too very good” Catherine said grimly as all three walked into the shop to plan their revenge while laughs were heard from across the street.
Charlie had been thoroughly chewed out by the females in the family. Thankfully he finished planning the expansions on the Preserve that were taking up all his time. So now he had more time to dedicate to his budding relationship. He had invited Sandra over to the Preserve. She had gladly accepted and they spent a lovely time having a picnic outside under the stars with candlelight.
Afterward Charlie took her on a broom ride. She held on tight to him as they flied over the dragons and she marveled a the sight of them. They were doing maneuvers and laughing when Charlie just went with his gut and said “Sandra I love you, you know” gruffly.
She hung tight to him stunned, for a while she had wondered how things stood with them, those words, well they gave her the boost she needed. She now knew things were moving forward.
“I love you too” she replied and hung on tighter as they continued to fly, talk, and laugh.
Februray came and the prank war was in full swing, the girls had taken it upon themselves to flood the Weasleys shop with a swamp. They were only mildly impressed and proceeded to remove it in less than an hour. But they didn’t let the girls know that. Instead they plotted… and plotted….and plotted till the light shown on them.
“George, no, we will not do that” Fred pleaded.
“We are too, they tried to flood our shop” George supplied
“Still this is too extreme, im going to catch hell for this” Fred insisted.
“Blame it on me, you know you want to do it, if only for the visuals” George said with a wicked smile. He wanted to see it to for some reason that escaped him.
That got Fred thinking, in the end he let his libido rule him more than his reason and agreed.
The next morning Pixy and Anastacia rose from their sleep, they stretched, yawned, got out of their beds and felt the cold stones under their feet….the only problem was their floor was made of wood. They immediately looked around and saw they were outside. They looked back and the beds they were on had now vanished. They looked down and found they were now if what could best be described as Brazilian thong mini bikinis. They barely covered their privates and nipples.
“What the fuck!!?!??!?!” screamed Pixy.
“Run” Anastacia replied as she begun to see the street stir with people.
They turned to run to their shop, only to realize, well….their shop was no longer there.
They looked to either side and saw their neighbors, but between them, where their shop was supposed to be there was nothing, not even the space, their neighbors where now side by side as if their shop and the space it was in had never existed.
Fred and George were ducked watching all this with magical periscopes as to not be seen, though it was inevitable that they would figure it was them. Both were rather engrossed in trying to record the mental image of the girls in the skimpy swimsuits….if you could even call them that.
The girls look desperately around, their wands were nowhere to be seen. Their only hope, their only escape, was the Weasleys shop. They ran to the door, it was open, climbed the stairs and locked themselves in the bathroom.
“Well brother, me thinks its about time I saved your ass” George said as he raised his wand and bound Fred in ropes and then gagged and blindfolded him as well.
He stood up just in time as two very pissed of witches had just had time to put two and two together and burst through the door with murder in their eyes.
“You sick fucking piece of shit bastards” growled Anastacia
“Fred Weasley I am going to fucking kill you AND tell your mom” Pixy shouted as they crossed the door.
But they minute they saw George standing above his bound brother they stopped and tried to rationalize the situation.
“George what did you do to Fred?” shouted Pixy as she rushed down to his side.
“He didn’t like my plan, tried to stop me. He still hasn’t comprehended that war is war, there is no mercy” he replied with a wicked look on his face.
“You unparalleled bloody bastard” Anastasia said shocked.
Pixy only hugged Fred’s head between her rather exposed breasts tighter.
Fred was enjoying this more by the minute and thanking his brother immensely in his head.
“Where is our shop?” Anastasia snapped at George.
“My my my, no manners at all. On top of breaking in to our shop, now you are being rude. Maybe I should call Aurors to sort this mess out” George mussed.
The last thing either of the girls wanted was a larger audience.
Anastacia was already absorbed in the impossible task of coverning herself up as she yelled at George.
She swallowed her rage and closed her eyes. “Could you please tell us where our shop is?” she asked through gritted teeth.
“My brother was worried for your safety so it was placed under the Fidelius charm” George replied as if explaining it to a mental retard.
“You son of a fuckin piece of crap asshole” Anastasia yelled. “Who did it?”
“I did” George said simply.
“Tell me where it is so we can get into our shop!!!” she demanded.
“You didn’t say please” George taunted in a sing song voice.
“Please” Anastasia growled.
“Sorry, I cant” George replied.
“You son of a bitch, tell me where our shop is” she shouted.
“He actually can’t, he isn’t the secret keeper” Fred supplied now that Pixy had ungagged him.
The girls stared Fred down, “Then who is?” Anastasia growled.
“Don’t talk to him like that” Pixy said squeezing him between her breasts again to his delight.
Anastasia rolled her eyes.
“Love, please tell me” Pixy said in a sweet voice.
“Well beloved, my genius brother transfigured a pigmy puff into a flying talking monkey and made it the secret keeper” Fred replied trying to keep his eyes on Pixy’s face but failing for the most part. She didn’t seem to mind, though she did notice and blushed furiously.
The girls stared at George like if he were a mad man, the thing was, that he was.
“Unfuckingbelivable” Anastasia gasped. She didn’t know if she should be more impressed at the genius of the prank or pissed at how screwed they were.
“He is up and about somewhere around here” George supplied with a grin.
“How did you get our beds out and these clothes on?” Anastasia growled.
“Magic, duh” George said rolling his eyes.
Anastasia lunged at him but George used his Quidditch reflexes to dodge and watched as she flew past and bounced off the ground.
“In any case here have some robes on us” George said magiking some robes around them with the sign “Courtesy of WWW” on the back.
“Thanks” Anastasia growled as she got dressed
“Unbind him” Pixy growled at George.
“No, cause then he would be obligated to help you now wouldn’t he?” George replied.
Pixy controlled herself, “What if he promised to not help?” she supplied.
“Then id gladly unbind him” he countered.
Pixy looked down at Fred, “Promise him love” she pleaded.
“But Pixy, I want to help you” Fred lied.
“I know love, and I love you for it, but I don’t want you bound all day long while we search, so please promise” she pleaded.
Fred fake sighed, “Fine, love I promise not to help you”
George unbound him.
Pixy kissed him, closed her robe and got up.
“Well then, I guess we must be off to find a flying monkey” Anastasia said angrily.
“Bye bye luv” Pixy cooed to Fred and then followed her sister out.
“I wonder if they will figure out eventually that those robes are transparent to any person that finds females attractive wether they are female or male” Fred pondered.
“Not unless someone tells them. One way or another that will be great publicity for us” George chuckled as they both stared out the window at the girls retreating asses and wondering if a Pensive would be a good investment.
In London, Catherine was fairing even worst. So far she had “misplaced” her office building, had her house turned into a zoo, had her car transfigure into a donkey, had her credit cards and bank accounts closed because she was declared officially dead, woke up naked covered in tattoos the likes of fluffy black dogs and “Sirius is the sexxxiest beast on the planet” and other such statements, and had food vanish whenever she touched it and replaced by notes denoting that she could loose a few pounds. Finally she was left with little choice but to seek help… professional help.
Remus calmly sipped his tea as a very nervous looking Catherine did the same while her hand shook.
“Remus you have to help me. Please help me get him back!!!” she exclaimed
Moony raised an eyebrow, “Cat, there are a few things wrong with what you just asked. First off I couldn’t help you even if I wanted to. I am a Marauder, you declared war on a Marauder, it would be terrible form for me to help you. Secondly, you really brought this on yourself, Lilly did her best to protect you, you screwed that up. I really don’t understand why the hell you are so intent on going after Sirius and the rest of us Black Marauders” he began and was about to be interrupted when he raised his hand. “I know what you think of the name, lets not waste time going down that road. Finally, the worst mistake you are making is that you think you have a chance in hell against him in a prank war. You do realize that he had nothing but time and boredom behind the vail right? He was a great prankster before but now he has had too much time to think of the worst possible aplications of his skill” he explained.
“Hey, I have been giving as good as I have taken” she defended.
Remus rolled his eyes, “Name your top three pranks on him so far” he sighed.
“Eh, well I sent him several hundred pizzas to his home. I turned his front lawn into a swamp, and I had a raincloud chase him all day” she said proudly.
Remus put his head in his hands and tried to contain the laughter. “Cat, you are out of your league, and let me tell you something, and listen very well, HE…. IS…. GOING…. EASY ….ON …YOU!!!! He hasn’t even dug into Harry’s big bad bag of badass tricks” he concluded.
“Huh?” she asked confused.
Once again he rolled his eyes, “Sirius is bad, but the only one that is as bad or possibly worst than he is, is possibly Harry, your godson. He has created pranks of such horrible and devastating proportions that I shudder to think what Sirius could do to you if he were to start using any of them. Remember you are not battling one Marauder, but all of them. Our leader has assembled some of the brightest and best in our ranks. You really are outgunned here” he concluded.
“I don’t care what Sirus did, this organization is going down” she said getting up and apparating.
Remus looked puzzled, the realization hit him. “Good lord Cat, Sirius isn’t our leader. What are you doing? This will bite you in the ass” he sighed as he shook his head and wondered where their real leader was, where Harry was.
Harry was in New Zealand having the beach party to end all beach parties. MaryAnn was in a cute bikini with he hair loose and some light make up on, something totally new to her, and surrounded by guys trying to vie for her attention. Harry just looked on and smiled, she deserved every bit of it. The troops were relaxing, having a grand time, getting wasted on beer. Axel was in the thick of things DJing the event. Harry was internalizing what had happened so far. The stones gained, the battles fought, the training done. He was also practicing his Divination of his different friends in England and abroad. He was relatively sure that the Twins would require another scolding soon, but was enjoying the mayhem that Ginny, Sirius, and they were cooking up. All of it worked perfectly for his plans.
“Plotting to take over the world Snuffles?” Axel said coming up behind him.
“Something like that” Harry chuckled, then grew serious. “So whats our next stop?”
“Japan” Axel replied.
“Whats element I mean?” Harry said anxiously.
“Life” Axel sighed.
Harry cringed, Life had been one of the hard ones the last time around. “How bad is it going to be?” he asked.
“Bout as bad as last time, bout as good as Water just was” Axel replied simply.
Harry chose to not think about it, instead he focused on Sirius.
Sirius was with Seamus, he would be having a party to celebrate Sirius Radio going to number one in the UK and 10 across Europe. It was picking speed. But he wanted the bash to be a cross promotional event with as many different Black Marauder products involved. Seamus had been busy, the mega-brewery was now in full swing and was pumping out enough alcohol to drown an ocean.
“So how many different concoctions have you come up with so far Pooka?” Sirius enquired.
“Well Padfoot, officially we are up to 20 different magical spirits, unofficially we have about 200 on the drawing board” he replied. “Want to head to R&D?”
Sirius stood shocked at the number of spirits they were talking about, “By all means good man, lead the way” he replied with a smile.
Seamus lead the way to a door that slid open automatically like something out of a space movie. But what really shocked Sirius is what was inside.
A beautiful pair of girls came up to them and hugged them loosely.
“Captain my captain, how goes it? You are looking dashing. Want a drink?” one said to Seamus and offered him a glass filled with a purple drink.
“Arent you the sexiest thing on two legs ive seen all day besides me” said the other to Sirius and offered him a glass with a pink concoction in it.
Sirus tried it and it tasted like lemonade and then he felt like mule kick in his mouth.
“Pink Punch Potion, still trying to tone down the punch part” Seamus replied as Sirius stared him down.
“That’s only one reason im staring” Sirius said as he looked around at the dozens upon dozens of hot females all in a state of inebriation around the room.
“Oh well, you got to consider that they are trying products all day long. Some of them get them plastered rather quickly. We are working on reducing the alchohol in some of those and raising it in others. We cant have clients drinking too little to get a buzz or too much. It has to be just right, ergo a lot of trial and error” Seamus explained.
“And why are you using hot girls as guinie pigs?” Sirius countered with a smirk.
“Guinnea pigs? Ill have you know these women are trained professionalas, everyone of them holds degrees in botany, distilling, production, marketing, biology or something of the like” Seamus said in indignation.
“Yea, you meany, we are all like… really, really smart and stuff” said the one haning off Sirius.
“What she said” said another one that came over with a green drink and spilled some on herself as she raised the glass and poked Sirius in the chest.
Sirius turned to Seamus, “I don’t see any guys or non attractive females in here. You sure they are all professionals?” he asked trying to hold back a laugh.
Just then a buzzer went off, everyone inside cringed. And then every female ran to a big cauldron filled with a bubbling white potion. “White drink time!!!” they all exclaimed in joy and ran to get a shot of it.
They each drank and all of a sudden they were no longer bumbling or wasted. They straightened out their clothes, and in some cases glasses. Then each proceeded back to their work stations and continued to work as if nothing was wrong. Soon they were all sampling the things they were making again.
Sirius looked expectantly at Seamus.
“Well…” Seamus began.
“Sir, maybe I should explain” said the girl that had been hanging off Seamus a minute ago. Now that she was sober and had her clothes straight she looked rather prim and proper. Though she was gorgeous. Blonde, blue eyed, with a body that seemed almost sculpted.
“Ah Monika go right ahead. Sirius let me introduce the head of R&D, Monika Stranhaut. Master brewer from Germany” he explained.
“I don’t think I have ever met a master brewer that looked like you love” Sirius said winking
Monika blushed, “Thank you Mr. Black, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you” she replied.
“Sirius love, its Sirius” He interjected with a suaveness that could never be imitated.
Monika tried to compose herself and failed, “Sirius. Well our staff goes through several hourly shifts where we try to modify the batch for an hour, then at the end of that hour we drink a shot of sobriety potion so that we may work for another hour” she explained.
“That still doesn’t answer the question as to why there are only very attractive females here” Sirius said slyly and winked at Monika who was hyperventilating and now drinking down a glass of her purple potion very quickly.
“Well Padfoot, its not my fault that no qualified men or unattractive females showed up to the interviews” Seamus replied slyly.
“RIiight, suuuuure” Sirius said rolling his eyes. “In any case, as I was telling you earlier, I need you to supply your best to the Sirius Radio fest we will be having next month. So get going on it man” Sirius concluded.
“Righto my captain, will do” Seamus said smiling.
“Now then, introduce me to the rest of your staff, and lets get to….sampling the new products” Sirius said with a very wolfish grin.
“Right behind you Padfoot, right behind you” Seamus said with an equal smile.
Valentines day hit, and it was a massively depressing day for Hermione and Ron. Each were now wallowing in their respective beds wishing the day would just go away and end the horror of having to exist without their other half. Hermione was going over every word that could be spoken and every potential action taken to regain what was lost. And Ron was eating some nachos and trying to figure out how he could explain himself to Hermione and not sound like a complete wanker.
“I am a moron, I should go talk to her” Ron sighed.
“He is a moron, all he needs to do is come talk to me” Hermione groaned.
But not everyone had a bad Valentines. Neville and Luna had apperated to Paris and were enjoying a stroll in the moonlight after a lovely dinner.
Neville was nervously walking next to her trying to figure what to say.
Luna sighed and grabbed his hand, “You are trying to hard Neville, just relax and be yourself” she insisted.
Neville blushed, and held on tighter, “So ehm, how bout those Cannons? Ron did a great job with them” he tried.
Luna just shook her head, “Try again Neville” she said smirking
“Eh, so how have you been?” he supplied.
Luna laughed, “We went over that during dinner. You know perfectly well how I am doing” she giggled
Neville tried to take a page out of Sirius’s book, he put his arm ackwardly around her and slowly slid it down to her back. “So, you are looking….eh pretty tonight….eh the moonlight suits you. I guess that is why you are Luna, cause of the moon and that” he tried to say in a suave manner.
Luna just burst out laughing. “Neville, you are trying way to hard. It’s a given we are going to shag each other rotten tonight, so don’t be nervous” she said in a matter-of-fact tone and then kissed him. Grabbed his hand and dragged him along as she began to lead the conversation while a dazed Neville was trying to keep up mentally with what was going on.
“Everyones a critic, in any case off we go” Axel concluded and they vanished.
“Crash down on them Potter, tear their beaches to shreds” Neriad said grimly as he ordered the damage repaired.
Harry appeared on a familiar beach along with Axel. And he saw the familiar sight of a group of people near death training their heads off.
“Magots!!! Front and center” he shouted.
The group of half dead Aurors gathered around as best they could.
“You are to be privileged in seeing me and Harry Potter, my apprentice do battle to see how his training is going. Let me reiterate something, you are not worthy to even see this performance as you are so far beneath us on the evolutionary scale that we are rather unaware of your existence” Axel said grimly.
The blonde girl with grey eyes that had spoken up at the pub was the only one that didn’t look demoralized. Her name was MaryAnn Roony, the top Auror of the group.
In a flash Harry and Axel vanished and waves began to collide with each other in the middle of the water. Thunderous clashes rang through the air. It was like being in the middle of a hurricane. People were flying left and right, blasted by the force that was being generated by the clashes. The speed of the fight was incredible, they could not be seen at all. And then it all calmed down and Harry fell from the sky and landed on his feet on the beach.
“One of these days ill beat you” he chuckled as he dusted himself off.
Axel appeared next to him, “Keep dreaming Potter”
MaryAnn came dashing forward. “That was amazing, when do I learn that?”
“When you get older” they both said laughing at the joke.
“MarryAnn, Harry you will be I each others care for the next 8 months” Axel said as reality faded and they were on a beach Harry recognized.
“Kewl, so when does the drinking start?” she replied looking around, not phased anymore.
Harry lifted an eyebrow, “This could be challenging” he concluded out loud.
Axel rolled his eyes, “Roony, pay attention woman or ill have him make you run drills without sleep for the next month” he threatened.
That got her at attention, but also caused a look of questioning cross her face.
Axel saw it and proceeded to correct it. “Roony, your job for these 8 months are to teach Harry two things. One all the laws and regulations of Oceania, the second is to teach him how to power spell” he summarized.
“Oh, so my learning thing is done” she said with a smile. “No worries Harry, I will have you ready for battle in no time, the first thing we will need is beer” she told Axel.
“What do you mean by power spelling?” Harry asked.
“Watch and learn” MaryAnn said and then cast a stuning spell. But the spell was huge, and the effect rippled as it hit the water.
Harry understood, if he had that ability, added to his power….
Axel lifted his hand and 5 huge spells cast out and blasted the water up into giant columns.
“Wow, wicked” Both Harry and MaryAnn commented.
“Roony, you will be learning more on fighting from Harry, the goal of this is for each of you to learn what needs to be learned” Axel summarized and then vanished.
“I hate it when he does that” both of them said and then looked at each other and laughed.
“Well pleased to meetcha Harry” she started.
“A pleasure, MaryAnn” he replied.
“Speeking of pleasure, I feel like a good fuck. You game?” she said non-challantly.
Harry just smirked, “Maybe later girl. Work now, beer and sex later” he said nonplussed as he walked to the cave knowing the books would be there, taking off his shirt as he walked.
She stared at him open mouthed. She wanted to shock him, but she was cowed by his quick reaction and the reality of what he had just said and admiring the flawless back of the hero that had just hinted they might shag in the near future.
“Oh this will be fun” she smirked as she followed him.
It took only a couple of days for Harry to learn all the rules and regulations of the area.
“Blimey, you must have been a book worm back at school” MaryAnn teased when she finished quizzing him in the cave. He had mastered all the theory at last.
Harry just laughed, “Not really, I was like you, more into pranks and having fun than anything else. But just like you I had to deal with Axel as a teacher” he replied
They both shuddered at the thought. Over the days that had come to know each other. She had gotten to learn a bit about the backround of the hero everyone was talking about. But he had learned a lot more about her. She was the youngest of her family with 5 older and very mischievous brothers. She had been a bit of a tomboy in school because of it. Tough, wicked, and fun loving, she had been just another one of the boys. Still Harry saw the true sadness deep withing her, and at times she would see her smiling sadly at him and then have the look be replaced by a sad smile.
“In any case, its about time we started with your training. While we do that you can teach me how to shoot stronger spells like you do” Harry explained.
“Sounds like a plan, so how do we start?” she said excitedly.
“By getting naked” Harry said evily as he turned and walked out of the cave stripping down as he walked.
MaryAnn just stood there dumbfounded till she ran to the entrance to finish watching the show. Harry was naked now as he reached the water and started to bathe. She stood and gawked at him.
“Fly’s will get in if you don’t close that and you best get naked and come and get cleaned up” he teased.
“Budah, ehm ell ah” she stuttered.
Harry just laughed and dipped his head under the water.
“Come on MaryAnn, didn’t figure you for the shy type. We are going to see each other naked eventually. The training we are going to do tends to destroy clothes in the process” he explained, this time leaving no room for misinterpreations.
The sad look returned to her face, and Harry knew why. She would have preferred to misinterpret for a while, to believe. Seing that sadness, a sadness and loneliness that reminded him so much of….Rose. He quickly shook his head to vanish the thought. He didn’t want to start pitiying himself again, he needed to focus and so did MaryAnn, neither of them had the time to mope.
“Well, I guess you are the boss, if you say so I guess its best if we get the formalities out of the way” she said trying to joke around as she clumsily started to remove her clothes.
Harry made up his mind, part of him felt sorry for her, part of him wanted to help her, part of him wanted to forget for a bit, another part just wanted to let go of the sadness that both of them had so they could work. And for those and a thousand other reasons Harry began to slowly emerge out of the water a seductive grin on his face.
MaryAnn stopped undressing and just stared, stared at the pefection, the perfection asentuated by scars and muscle, his complete nude form, and once again she was gawking.
Harry laughed and walked up to her. He kissed her, he kissed her like no bloke had ever kissed her because none ever had, not really. He tore off her clothes as she desolved into her first true kiss. And after a quick couple of spells she fell onto a blanket and Harry took her and proceeded to shag her rotten for a few hours, each loosing themselves, each healing the sadness. He of all the pain and heartbreak, she of a life of being one of the boys, never truly desired, never truly loved, never truly seen as the beautiful woman she was. Never seen.
“I see you” Harry said before he took her again. She smiled the truest smile she ever had and tears fell from her eyes as she abandoned herself to the pleasure.
The next morning, she awoke refreshed, a bit sore, but happier than she ever had been. She reluctantly got dressed and went looking for Harry who was sitting on the beach meditating.
When she saw him again, she was filled with joy, but also regret, fear, and depression.
Harry sensed her, without opening his eyes he said, “MaryAnn, sit, we have to talk”
Her heart now weighed a ton and she fell onto the sand. She prepared herself to be broken and rejected again. To be just another shag.
Harry opened his eyes and stared into her sad ones, before she looked away.
“Come on, just lay it on me” she said bitterly.
Harry smiled sadly and moved to her and cradled her face, staring deep into her sad eyes.
She was surprised by the gentle gesture and just let his hand guide her.
Harry sighed, “Yesterday was great, and you have nothing to feel bad about. You are a beautiful girl MaryAnn. Honestly I think a lot of blokes would love to take you out, but I also know you have probably been going about it all the wrong ways” he said.
“Huh?” she said confused.
“Look for starters we have to clear the waters. We both know that this isn’t going anywhere” Harry said bluntly.
She smiled, “Of course, I know that you still love her. Besides you and I have different battles to fight” MaryAnn said trying to make it easier on Harry. He had seen her, and for that she would be greatfull, though part of her felt sad that it couldn’t go anywhere.
Harry read her like a book, “I wish I could give you more luv, but I cant. But if I could, you would be so worth it” he said as he stroked her cheak and kissed her.
She melted into the gesture, she had had many one night stands and open relationships, but they were always just sex, there was no tenderness, no admiration, Harry treated her as more than that.
“I know, so now tell me what you mean by going about it all the wrong ways” she said finally loosing herself to her curiosity.
Harry smirked, “You have been selling yourself cheap, and you have been doing it wrong” he surmised.
“Huh?” she replied
“You deserve more than one night stands, but the problem is you don’t know how to go about getting something more. The problem is that you never learned how to be seductive, how to be girly. You always just come off as this tomboy that has a good body and is open to having a good shag, BUT you have not used any seductive powers and you don’t know how to present the assets that you have” he explained.
She lifted her eyebrow, a bit of annoyance taking up her face, “And you do? Oh please to explain oh great and wise Potter, how I have been screwing it up” MarryAnn said annoyed.
Harry smirked, and in a flash he was in front of her, he bent and whispered in her ear, “Don’t move” sending a chill down her spine.
She then felt magic moving all around her, she closed her eyes and waited, hoped.
“Done, you can open them now” she heard him say.
She opened them and was now staring into a mirror that had been conjured.
Her hair that was normally tightly bound into a blonde pony tail, now hung loose and curly down to her back, magicked longer than the bob she was used to. Hey face, used to never wearing make up, was now clean and covered in light make up and eye shadow that made her eyes shine. Her body that was tone, fit, and voluptuous was now in a tight black dress that hugged her every curve. She would never have been caught dead in something like that, she would settle for trousers and a blouse or shirt most of the time. She was also on heals, something she never wore. She felt like she was staring at a familiar stranger, a gorgeous one.
Harry appeared behind her. “Walk into a bar like that, and the blokes will come to YOU, not the other way around. Then all you need to do is play a little hard to get and make them earn it. Get to know them, see if you click or not. Don’t sleep with them on the first night, do it when you know they are worth your time and that they want more than just your body” he explained.
“Is this really me?” she asked shocked at the beauty she had buried underneath.
“Yep, the only thing different is the longer hair and the rest is just accessorizing which another witch would be able to do far better than me” he said simply.
She turned and kissed him. “Thank you” she whispered.
“You are welcome, now then, let me vanish this so we can start training” Harry said taking a step back.
A wild look went into MaryAnn’s eyes, “I was thinking we could vanish it and do something else” she said with a seductive smile.
Harry laughed, “Do that in a club and the guys will fight it out just to buy you a drink” he said smirking.
She bit her lip, “So, you game?” she added sultrily.
Harry kissed her and sighed, “Fine, but after that we start training”
“Deal” she replied and then pulled him into her.
Ron was ecstatic, he was sitting in his Marauder office just basking in the glory of the moment. It had been a hard run. He had had to work his ass off, look at countless videos, helped coach countless practices, missed talking to Hermione on countless nights, but it was done, and it was worth it. He had won…..every league he had teams in. Now all that was left was the World Cup. The parties he had experience had been legendary. The best one though had been the Black Marauder party. They had all sat in the conference room, every single member except for Harry, just drinking, hearing Ron tell stories of all the season highlights and congratulating him. It felt amazing to be seen and complemented for his work, he finally felt like he had amounted to something, like he did something. He was finally the center of the positive attention, and he loved it.
It was in this moment of bliss that a very angry Hermione Granger came storming into the office waving the Daily Prophet in her hand.
“You bloody two timing sodding bastard!!!” she screamed as she dumped the paper into his lap.
Ron was in shock, and scared shitless. He slowly looked down and beheld something that made the color drain from his face. On the front page of The Prophet was a picture of him celebrating the League win with the Cannons, he was lip locked with a girl and had another two girls on each arm. He didn’t bother to read the headline, the picture spoke a thousand words.
“Her..He…Hermione, luv, please let me explain” he said an then ran after her.
Ginny was back at school and bored out of her mind. As she lay on the couch lounging, all her homework done, even ahead of schedule. It is amazing what one can do when one is single and wanting to forget. Finally, after counting the ceiling stones didn’t work, she got up and sighed. She only had one recourse, she needed to prank the existence out of the school. Out of thin air a phonenix appeared dropped a package and left.
Ginny smiled evilly, Harry had heard her prayers. Not that she considered him a god or anything….well almost. But in any case she quickly read the instructions, her smile growing by the minute and then she was off to prepare it.
Later than night, as dinner was being served and the Great hall was bustling with people. And then boom a purple gas filled the entire castle. Every window and door magicked to not let it out. As the mist faded everyone looked around expecting the worst…they weren’t disappointed. Every person was now a different color, shade or pattern. Instead of their regular skin color they now all looked like a super creative painting. Then laughing erupted, and didn’t stop.
Minerva approached Ginny, trying to contain the unnatural laughter.
“Miss Weasley, do you know anything about this?” she asked in between the roaring laughter that wanted to escape.
Ginny looked at her laughing from the bottom of her soul at the teacher with purple skin with pink cats over it.
“I am afraid not Headmistress, this prank is way above my lowly skill” she pleaded innocently.
“Your brothers?” she asked hopefully.
“I believe it is also above theirs” Ginny replied.
Minerva sighed bitterly, if it was Harry then this was not going to be an easy fix and would likely last a good long while. “I sometimes hate my life” she mumbled and walked away laughing and brooding.
Fred and George had been extremely responsible, to the point that Sirius had come to visit and congratulate them on getting their act together in such a short while. They were just entering the store when Pixy ran and hugged Fred and started snogging him senselss.
Fred smilled like a fool, George gagged, and Sirus chuckled.
“Wha…who…whe” Fred managed.
“Fred you wouldn’t believe it, this lady came over and offered money and we are going international” she replied all in one breath.
George lifted an eyebrow and immediately came to attention. “What did you say? What do you mean you are going international?” he asked angrly.
“She means what she said. We have been bought out and put in charge of making our shop an international franchise you dumbass” Anastasia said as she came up behind her sister.
“Who the hell would do that?” George said disgruntled.
“That would be me” said a voice that made the hairs on the back of Sirius’s neck stand up and he let out a growl.
“Down boy, down, bad dog” the voice added.
“Dogg-erry to what do I owe the displeasure of hearing you again” Sirius growled as he walked up to face her.
George for his part faced off against Anastasia.
Fred and Pixy were lost in their own little world.
“So you want to face off then?” Sirius said grimly.
“Hell yea, we will be the pranking champions of the world” Catherine said uncharacteristically.
“So this means war then?” Sirius barked back.
“You bet your Black mutt ass it means war” Catherine growled back.
“You dare to try and declare war on me” he goaded her on.
“I declare war on all of you” she screamed back.
Sirius smiled evilly, profoundly evilly and mirth came into his eyes. Magic vibrated in the very air, and there was a flash of light and the sign of the Marauders appeared above Sirius. A call to arms
It was then it hit her, she remembered an oath that was taken decades ago and was sealed by one Lilly Potter. She made all the Marauders swear to never prank Lilly, Catherine, or any of their friends ever. In return, Lilly agreed to go out with James and Cat agreed to go out with Sirius. They even agreed to try and hook up Remus and Peter. But Sirius really enjoyed pranking Cat, and enjoyed her trying to prank him back, failing more often then not unless Lilly secretly helped her. So he added in a clause, that if them or any of their friends ever pranked them, or in fact declared open war in any other way, then the Marauders could unleash their worst.
“Thank you Dogg girl, this is going to be fun” Sirius said darkly.
“Merlin save us all” Catherine mumbled in shock, a shock of having the past come back to haunt her. Not only the oath, but all the good times she had with Sirius came rushing back.
Back in England Remus saw the flash and looked up at the Maruder crest. He sighed, “Poor Catherine, she unleashed him again, and he will drag us all into it” he said smiling grimly.
Immediately, Sirius mumbled something, dragged the Twins inside and the sky started rumbling. Then its started to rain on top of Cathering and the twins. They ran into the store only to notice that they were now covered in several colors of paint. They rushed outside with umbrellas and saw that it was in fact raining paint, and it was only raining on top of them and the shop.
“He is good” Anastasia said in awe.
“Too good, oh too very good” Catherine said grimly as all three walked into the shop to plan their revenge while laughs were heard from across the street.
Charlie had been thoroughly chewed out by the females in the family. Thankfully he finished planning the expansions on the Preserve that were taking up all his time. So now he had more time to dedicate to his budding relationship. He had invited Sandra over to the Preserve. She had gladly accepted and they spent a lovely time having a picnic outside under the stars with candlelight.
Afterward Charlie took her on a broom ride. She held on tight to him as they flied over the dragons and she marveled a the sight of them. They were doing maneuvers and laughing when Charlie just went with his gut and said “Sandra I love you, you know” gruffly.
She hung tight to him stunned, for a while she had wondered how things stood with them, those words, well they gave her the boost she needed. She now knew things were moving forward.
“I love you too” she replied and hung on tighter as they continued to fly, talk, and laugh.
Februray came and the prank war was in full swing, the girls had taken it upon themselves to flood the Weasleys shop with a swamp. They were only mildly impressed and proceeded to remove it in less than an hour. But they didn’t let the girls know that. Instead they plotted… and plotted….and plotted till the light shown on them.
“George, no, we will not do that” Fred pleaded.
“We are too, they tried to flood our shop” George supplied
“Still this is too extreme, im going to catch hell for this” Fred insisted.
“Blame it on me, you know you want to do it, if only for the visuals” George said with a wicked smile. He wanted to see it to for some reason that escaped him.
That got Fred thinking, in the end he let his libido rule him more than his reason and agreed.
The next morning Pixy and Anastacia rose from their sleep, they stretched, yawned, got out of their beds and felt the cold stones under their feet….the only problem was their floor was made of wood. They immediately looked around and saw they were outside. They looked back and the beds they were on had now vanished. They looked down and found they were now if what could best be described as Brazilian thong mini bikinis. They barely covered their privates and nipples.
“What the fuck!!?!??!?!” screamed Pixy.
“Run” Anastacia replied as she begun to see the street stir with people.
They turned to run to their shop, only to realize, well….their shop was no longer there.
They looked to either side and saw their neighbors, but between them, where their shop was supposed to be there was nothing, not even the space, their neighbors where now side by side as if their shop and the space it was in had never existed.
Fred and George were ducked watching all this with magical periscopes as to not be seen, though it was inevitable that they would figure it was them. Both were rather engrossed in trying to record the mental image of the girls in the skimpy swimsuits….if you could even call them that.
The girls look desperately around, their wands were nowhere to be seen. Their only hope, their only escape, was the Weasleys shop. They ran to the door, it was open, climbed the stairs and locked themselves in the bathroom.
“Well brother, me thinks its about time I saved your ass” George said as he raised his wand and bound Fred in ropes and then gagged and blindfolded him as well.
He stood up just in time as two very pissed of witches had just had time to put two and two together and burst through the door with murder in their eyes.
“You sick fucking piece of shit bastards” growled Anastacia
“Fred Weasley I am going to fucking kill you AND tell your mom” Pixy shouted as they crossed the door.
But they minute they saw George standing above his bound brother they stopped and tried to rationalize the situation.
“George what did you do to Fred?” shouted Pixy as she rushed down to his side.
“He didn’t like my plan, tried to stop me. He still hasn’t comprehended that war is war, there is no mercy” he replied with a wicked look on his face.
“You unparalleled bloody bastard” Anastasia said shocked.
Pixy only hugged Fred’s head between her rather exposed breasts tighter.
Fred was enjoying this more by the minute and thanking his brother immensely in his head.
“Where is our shop?” Anastasia snapped at George.
“My my my, no manners at all. On top of breaking in to our shop, now you are being rude. Maybe I should call Aurors to sort this mess out” George mussed.
The last thing either of the girls wanted was a larger audience.
Anastacia was already absorbed in the impossible task of coverning herself up as she yelled at George.
She swallowed her rage and closed her eyes. “Could you please tell us where our shop is?” she asked through gritted teeth.
“My brother was worried for your safety so it was placed under the Fidelius charm” George replied as if explaining it to a mental retard.
“You son of a fuckin piece of crap asshole” Anastasia yelled. “Who did it?”
“I did” George said simply.
“Tell me where it is so we can get into our shop!!!” she demanded.
“You didn’t say please” George taunted in a sing song voice.
“Please” Anastasia growled.
“Sorry, I cant” George replied.
“You son of a bitch, tell me where our shop is” she shouted.
“He actually can’t, he isn’t the secret keeper” Fred supplied now that Pixy had ungagged him.
The girls stared Fred down, “Then who is?” Anastasia growled.
“Don’t talk to him like that” Pixy said squeezing him between her breasts again to his delight.
Anastasia rolled her eyes.
“Love, please tell me” Pixy said in a sweet voice.
“Well beloved, my genius brother transfigured a pigmy puff into a flying talking monkey and made it the secret keeper” Fred replied trying to keep his eyes on Pixy’s face but failing for the most part. She didn’t seem to mind, though she did notice and blushed furiously.
The girls stared at George like if he were a mad man, the thing was, that he was.
“Unfuckingbelivable” Anastasia gasped. She didn’t know if she should be more impressed at the genius of the prank or pissed at how screwed they were.
“He is up and about somewhere around here” George supplied with a grin.
“How did you get our beds out and these clothes on?” Anastasia growled.
“Magic, duh” George said rolling his eyes.
Anastasia lunged at him but George used his Quidditch reflexes to dodge and watched as she flew past and bounced off the ground.
“In any case here have some robes on us” George said magiking some robes around them with the sign “Courtesy of WWW” on the back.
“Thanks” Anastasia growled as she got dressed
“Unbind him” Pixy growled at George.
“No, cause then he would be obligated to help you now wouldn’t he?” George replied.
Pixy controlled herself, “What if he promised to not help?” she supplied.
“Then id gladly unbind him” he countered.
Pixy looked down at Fred, “Promise him love” she pleaded.
“But Pixy, I want to help you” Fred lied.
“I know love, and I love you for it, but I don’t want you bound all day long while we search, so please promise” she pleaded.
Fred fake sighed, “Fine, love I promise not to help you”
George unbound him.
Pixy kissed him, closed her robe and got up.
“Well then, I guess we must be off to find a flying monkey” Anastasia said angrily.
“Bye bye luv” Pixy cooed to Fred and then followed her sister out.
“I wonder if they will figure out eventually that those robes are transparent to any person that finds females attractive wether they are female or male” Fred pondered.
“Not unless someone tells them. One way or another that will be great publicity for us” George chuckled as they both stared out the window at the girls retreating asses and wondering if a Pensive would be a good investment.
In London, Catherine was fairing even worst. So far she had “misplaced” her office building, had her house turned into a zoo, had her car transfigure into a donkey, had her credit cards and bank accounts closed because she was declared officially dead, woke up naked covered in tattoos the likes of fluffy black dogs and “Sirius is the sexxxiest beast on the planet” and other such statements, and had food vanish whenever she touched it and replaced by notes denoting that she could loose a few pounds. Finally she was left with little choice but to seek help… professional help.
Remus calmly sipped his tea as a very nervous looking Catherine did the same while her hand shook.
“Remus you have to help me. Please help me get him back!!!” she exclaimed
Moony raised an eyebrow, “Cat, there are a few things wrong with what you just asked. First off I couldn’t help you even if I wanted to. I am a Marauder, you declared war on a Marauder, it would be terrible form for me to help you. Secondly, you really brought this on yourself, Lilly did her best to protect you, you screwed that up. I really don’t understand why the hell you are so intent on going after Sirius and the rest of us Black Marauders” he began and was about to be interrupted when he raised his hand. “I know what you think of the name, lets not waste time going down that road. Finally, the worst mistake you are making is that you think you have a chance in hell against him in a prank war. You do realize that he had nothing but time and boredom behind the vail right? He was a great prankster before but now he has had too much time to think of the worst possible aplications of his skill” he explained.
“Hey, I have been giving as good as I have taken” she defended.
Remus rolled his eyes, “Name your top three pranks on him so far” he sighed.
“Eh, well I sent him several hundred pizzas to his home. I turned his front lawn into a swamp, and I had a raincloud chase him all day” she said proudly.
Remus put his head in his hands and tried to contain the laughter. “Cat, you are out of your league, and let me tell you something, and listen very well, HE…. IS…. GOING…. EASY ….ON …YOU!!!! He hasn’t even dug into Harry’s big bad bag of badass tricks” he concluded.
“Huh?” she asked confused.
Once again he rolled his eyes, “Sirius is bad, but the only one that is as bad or possibly worst than he is, is possibly Harry, your godson. He has created pranks of such horrible and devastating proportions that I shudder to think what Sirius could do to you if he were to start using any of them. Remember you are not battling one Marauder, but all of them. Our leader has assembled some of the brightest and best in our ranks. You really are outgunned here” he concluded.
“I don’t care what Sirus did, this organization is going down” she said getting up and apparating.
Remus looked puzzled, the realization hit him. “Good lord Cat, Sirius isn’t our leader. What are you doing? This will bite you in the ass” he sighed as he shook his head and wondered where their real leader was, where Harry was.
Harry was in New Zealand having the beach party to end all beach parties. MaryAnn was in a cute bikini with he hair loose and some light make up on, something totally new to her, and surrounded by guys trying to vie for her attention. Harry just looked on and smiled, she deserved every bit of it. The troops were relaxing, having a grand time, getting wasted on beer. Axel was in the thick of things DJing the event. Harry was internalizing what had happened so far. The stones gained, the battles fought, the training done. He was also practicing his Divination of his different friends in England and abroad. He was relatively sure that the Twins would require another scolding soon, but was enjoying the mayhem that Ginny, Sirius, and they were cooking up. All of it worked perfectly for his plans.
“Plotting to take over the world Snuffles?” Axel said coming up behind him.
“Something like that” Harry chuckled, then grew serious. “So whats our next stop?”
“Japan” Axel replied.
“Whats element I mean?” Harry said anxiously.
“Life” Axel sighed.
Harry cringed, Life had been one of the hard ones the last time around. “How bad is it going to be?” he asked.
“Bout as bad as last time, bout as good as Water just was” Axel replied simply.
Harry chose to not think about it, instead he focused on Sirius.
Sirius was with Seamus, he would be having a party to celebrate Sirius Radio going to number one in the UK and 10 across Europe. It was picking speed. But he wanted the bash to be a cross promotional event with as many different Black Marauder products involved. Seamus had been busy, the mega-brewery was now in full swing and was pumping out enough alcohol to drown an ocean.
“So how many different concoctions have you come up with so far Pooka?” Sirius enquired.
“Well Padfoot, officially we are up to 20 different magical spirits, unofficially we have about 200 on the drawing board” he replied. “Want to head to R&D?”
Sirius stood shocked at the number of spirits they were talking about, “By all means good man, lead the way” he replied with a smile.
Seamus lead the way to a door that slid open automatically like something out of a space movie. But what really shocked Sirius is what was inside.
A beautiful pair of girls came up to them and hugged them loosely.
“Captain my captain, how goes it? You are looking dashing. Want a drink?” one said to Seamus and offered him a glass filled with a purple drink.
“Arent you the sexiest thing on two legs ive seen all day besides me” said the other to Sirius and offered him a glass with a pink concoction in it.
Sirus tried it and it tasted like lemonade and then he felt like mule kick in his mouth.
“Pink Punch Potion, still trying to tone down the punch part” Seamus replied as Sirius stared him down.
“That’s only one reason im staring” Sirius said as he looked around at the dozens upon dozens of hot females all in a state of inebriation around the room.
“Oh well, you got to consider that they are trying products all day long. Some of them get them plastered rather quickly. We are working on reducing the alchohol in some of those and raising it in others. We cant have clients drinking too little to get a buzz or too much. It has to be just right, ergo a lot of trial and error” Seamus explained.
“And why are you using hot girls as guinie pigs?” Sirius countered with a smirk.
“Guinnea pigs? Ill have you know these women are trained professionalas, everyone of them holds degrees in botany, distilling, production, marketing, biology or something of the like” Seamus said in indignation.
“Yea, you meany, we are all like… really, really smart and stuff” said the one haning off Sirius.
“What she said” said another one that came over with a green drink and spilled some on herself as she raised the glass and poked Sirius in the chest.
Sirius turned to Seamus, “I don’t see any guys or non attractive females in here. You sure they are all professionals?” he asked trying to hold back a laugh.
Just then a buzzer went off, everyone inside cringed. And then every female ran to a big cauldron filled with a bubbling white potion. “White drink time!!!” they all exclaimed in joy and ran to get a shot of it.
They each drank and all of a sudden they were no longer bumbling or wasted. They straightened out their clothes, and in some cases glasses. Then each proceeded back to their work stations and continued to work as if nothing was wrong. Soon they were all sampling the things they were making again.
Sirius looked expectantly at Seamus.
“Well…” Seamus began.
“Sir, maybe I should explain” said the girl that had been hanging off Seamus a minute ago. Now that she was sober and had her clothes straight she looked rather prim and proper. Though she was gorgeous. Blonde, blue eyed, with a body that seemed almost sculpted.
“Ah Monika go right ahead. Sirius let me introduce the head of R&D, Monika Stranhaut. Master brewer from Germany” he explained.
“I don’t think I have ever met a master brewer that looked like you love” Sirius said winking
Monika blushed, “Thank you Mr. Black, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you” she replied.
“Sirius love, its Sirius” He interjected with a suaveness that could never be imitated.
Monika tried to compose herself and failed, “Sirius. Well our staff goes through several hourly shifts where we try to modify the batch for an hour, then at the end of that hour we drink a shot of sobriety potion so that we may work for another hour” she explained.
“That still doesn’t answer the question as to why there are only very attractive females here” Sirius said slyly and winked at Monika who was hyperventilating and now drinking down a glass of her purple potion very quickly.
“Well Padfoot, its not my fault that no qualified men or unattractive females showed up to the interviews” Seamus replied slyly.
“RIiight, suuuuure” Sirius said rolling his eyes. “In any case, as I was telling you earlier, I need you to supply your best to the Sirius Radio fest we will be having next month. So get going on it man” Sirius concluded.
“Righto my captain, will do” Seamus said smiling.
“Now then, introduce me to the rest of your staff, and lets get to….sampling the new products” Sirius said with a very wolfish grin.
“Right behind you Padfoot, right behind you” Seamus said with an equal smile.
Valentines day hit, and it was a massively depressing day for Hermione and Ron. Each were now wallowing in their respective beds wishing the day would just go away and end the horror of having to exist without their other half. Hermione was going over every word that could be spoken and every potential action taken to regain what was lost. And Ron was eating some nachos and trying to figure out how he could explain himself to Hermione and not sound like a complete wanker.
“I am a moron, I should go talk to her” Ron sighed.
“He is a moron, all he needs to do is come talk to me” Hermione groaned.
But not everyone had a bad Valentines. Neville and Luna had apperated to Paris and were enjoying a stroll in the moonlight after a lovely dinner.
Neville was nervously walking next to her trying to figure what to say.
Luna sighed and grabbed his hand, “You are trying to hard Neville, just relax and be yourself” she insisted.
Neville blushed, and held on tighter, “So ehm, how bout those Cannons? Ron did a great job with them” he tried.
Luna just shook her head, “Try again Neville” she said smirking
“Eh, so how have you been?” he supplied.
Luna laughed, “We went over that during dinner. You know perfectly well how I am doing” she giggled
Neville tried to take a page out of Sirius’s book, he put his arm ackwardly around her and slowly slid it down to her back. “So, you are looking….eh pretty tonight….eh the moonlight suits you. I guess that is why you are Luna, cause of the moon and that” he tried to say in a suave manner.
Luna just burst out laughing. “Neville, you are trying way to hard. It’s a given we are going to shag each other rotten tonight, so don’t be nervous” she said in a matter-of-fact tone and then kissed him. Grabbed his hand and dragged him along as she began to lead the conversation while a dazed Neville was trying to keep up mentally with what was going on.