Oh god
So, I read this article:
http://finance.yahoo.com/college-education/article/108846/the-555000-student-loan-burden?mod=edu-continuing_education
And now, after having written out a budget for my upcoming summer of studies, hopefully some bit of travel, and general life-living (rent, food, etc) and my final semester of college, I realize that once I graduate, I will have zero money. Far, far less than zero money, in fact. I will have -$73,000, give or take a few thousand.
...strike that, I forgot about my government loans due to me. I'll graduate with $3,000 left unspent, methinks, which will help pay rent beyond January while I look for a full-time job. Or, will be set aside and spent on travel if I have an okay-paying job already.
But the point is that I'm terrified. I'm not despairing. I knew what I was getting myself in to, and frankly, that's not a bad debt amount for two degrees and four years spent living on my own. I've been paying off my interest regularly while in school, a few thousand dollars over these past years, most of it money I earned from working. I've had scholarships and an amazing $8,000 grant. It just feels like nothing makes a dent. I'm trying to walk the fine line between living a life I want, and working myself into depression just to pay everything on time. And I don't know what I can do now to soften the blow when I'm out of MassArt a mere 10.5 months from now.
*shivers* I feel quite alone.