Old Ghosts of former lovers easily visited on Youtube!

Jan 20, 2009 22:28

Just got home from my first day of class of this semester( Women's role in Early American history, so far seems to be a kick-ass class with a wonderful feminist prof who is THRILLED by my reenacting and wants me to dress in garb for a project grade), but a long day nevertheless( I also just started teaching kindergarden in a new private learning center( 7:30 am-4:30, then class 3 nights a week).. At least we got  to watch parts of the inaugaration on Tv today!

*sigh* I'm one of those I guess you'd call them sadio maschiostic people who just keeps metaphorically opening up old wounds, not being able to leave well enough alone...looking at old pics of the ex's, dragging out all the old tapes and CD's that had "our songs".. but now I've done one better.

My most recent serious ex bf( we dated from Dec 07-May 08 and had a very nasty breakup) was a freelance musician. He had a LOT of talent( singing and playing guitar) but sadly was too undiciplined and undirected to do much with it. He was trying to market some of his songs( mostly covers ) on Youtube and he and I often made vids with my digital cam of him. I posted a number of them up on youtube.

In May we had a very vitriolic breakup( he publically humiliated me via his myspace blog when we did so) and no longer even speak anymore and after a time of anger and hurting, I was able to erace all  the vids of him in my hard drive and delete all the pics.. Now what am I doing?? I find myself  going onto his Youtube channel and listening anew to his music, remembering.....It's like I have a "beat me hard emotionally" sign on my mind and soul....

old boyfriends, youtube

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