gamer humour
An Elf, an orc, and a dwarf walk into a bar. Each orders a pint of beer.
Three flies buzzing around the bar choose to land in each pint of beer.
The elf sees the fly in his beer and exclaims "I cannot drink this filth! Bring me a fresh brew in a new glass!"
The Orc picks the fly out of his beer, tosses it over his shoulder, and starts drinking.
The Dwarf picks out the fly and begins squeezing it, yelling "SPIT IT OUT YEH WEE BASTARD! SPIT IT OUT!"
Two dwarves were hunting in the woods with their crossbows.
Suddenly a beautiful, naked female elf leaps from the bushes and eyes them seductively.
"Whatcha doin? she says.
"We're hunting game." says one dwarf.
"Well I'm game." she replies.
So they shot her.
An Orcish knock-knock joke.
Knock-knock
Who's there?
Knock-Knock!
Whose there?
KNOCK-KNOCK THUD CRASH {screams of horror} GROWL SLICE THUD ROAR {death-rattle}
You're going through a dungeon. It's big enough that you're down to your last 2 crossbow bolts.
you enter a room with a Type VII demon, a purple dragon, the evil warlord that's enslaving your people, and a kender.
What do you do?
Answer:
Shoot the kender twice before he swipes your crossbow!
Then kick your GM in the nuts and switch to SotC.
How many Orcs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer: You'll have to wait for the WotC "Orcish Electrician" Sourcebook (tm) $49.95 to come this fall!
Cthulhu, Azathoth, abd Nyarlathotep walk into a bar. They see a human bartender, and all go permanently insane.
Q: How many faeries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: You could probably pack six or seven in there, then let nature take her course.
Three flies buzzing around the bar choose to land in each pint of beer.
The elf sees the fly in his beer and exclaims "I cannot drink this filth! Bring me a fresh brew in a new glass!"
The Orc picks the fly out of his beer, tosses it over his shoulder, and starts drinking.
The Dwarf picks out the fly and begins squeezing it, yelling "SPIT IT OUT YEH WEE BASTARD! SPIT IT OUT!"
Two dwarves were hunting in the woods with their crossbows.
Suddenly a beautiful, naked female elf leaps from the bushes and eyes them seductively.
"Whatcha doin? she says.
"We're hunting game." says one dwarf.
"Well I'm game." she replies.
So they shot her.
An Orcish knock-knock joke.
Knock-knock
Who's there?
Knock-Knock!
Whose there?
KNOCK-KNOCK THUD CRASH {screams of horror} GROWL SLICE THUD ROAR {death-rattle}
You're going through a dungeon. It's big enough that you're down to your last 2 crossbow bolts.
you enter a room with a Type VII demon, a purple dragon, the evil warlord that's enslaving your people, and a kender.
What do you do?
Answer:
Shoot the kender twice before he swipes your crossbow!
Then kick your GM in the nuts and switch to SotC.
How many Orcs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer: You'll have to wait for the WotC "Orcish Electrician" Sourcebook (tm) $49.95 to come this fall!
Cthulhu, Azathoth, abd Nyarlathotep walk into a bar. They see a human bartender, and all go permanently insane.
Q: How many faeries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: You could probably pack six or seven in there, then let nature take her course.