(no subject)
I love how when everything seems to get better a bunch of little things happen to piss you off and it just completely ruins everything you've tried to get back in order. Don't you? I mean... last week, after that bad couple of weeks, I was finally starting to hang out with my friends and feel normal again. This week it's like everything is slowly going back downhill. It's like I'm on a roller coaster that has no end. In a way, I guess that's all life really is.
My best friend is still hanging out with someone I don't particularly like. I have issues, I'll admit that. I'm a very shy person, but when it comes to my friends I want their complete and total attention and devotion. Same way with family, I suppose. If I don't have someone's attention, I grow depressed. And I don't just mean "Oh man they aren't talking to me." I mean, I start fully doubting them and wonder if they ever REALLY liked me or if it was all just one sick joke that I keep falling deeper and deeper into. This week, I feel like no one has really given me that attention I crave. There is one person who has tried, but there have been some distractions on her side. I love so much that she's trying though. I feel really bad because even though I know she tries, a part of me still doubts no matter how hard I try not to because I KNOW she's a great friend. Things come up and I know that, so I'm sorry for doubting your friendship, though I've tried not to let you know how much it bothers me. Love you, Kiwi. <3
On top of feeling like all my friends don't actually like me, one of my old friends (whom I can't stand anymore) has been at my house the last two days. Let me tell you why I don't like her. For one, she's one big sack of drama. I swear to God her life is a soap opera and nothing you say to her helps. No matter how much help you give her there's always something else that she wants or think she needs. The second reason I no longer call her my friend goes back to my clingy ways. I have had several friends in the past call my mom their mom. It was always just teasing, like "Hey mom," anytime they came over. Or even she would say, "They're like my kids." I've NEVER had a problem with it until her. She comes along and instead of joking around with it, she calls her Mama or Mama Brenda. *eyeroll* No matter how much she hates her own mom, she's not taking mine from me. And for the last two days, she's been over at my house CONSTANTLY, fighting with her boyfriend who she's supposed to be living with. Both nights we've started to watch a show together and in comes little miss drama, tears in her eyes. "I'm done," she'll say, and two and a half hours later, everything's fine and dandy, but my mom and dad were stolen away from me. I know I'm a selfish bitch, but I at least admit it, right?
And if that wasn't enough, my cat that I've had for twelve long years is on his death bed... I haven't seen him since last night, so by now he may even be long gone. I have no idea whatsoever. I'll miss him like crazy. I knew it was coming, but because it's one thing added to so many other things that seem big but really aren't, my week is completely going down hill.
Someone rescue me before I fall deeper into this black hole. <3
My best friend is still hanging out with someone I don't particularly like. I have issues, I'll admit that. I'm a very shy person, but when it comes to my friends I want their complete and total attention and devotion. Same way with family, I suppose. If I don't have someone's attention, I grow depressed. And I don't just mean "Oh man they aren't talking to me." I mean, I start fully doubting them and wonder if they ever REALLY liked me or if it was all just one sick joke that I keep falling deeper and deeper into. This week, I feel like no one has really given me that attention I crave. There is one person who has tried, but there have been some distractions on her side. I love so much that she's trying though. I feel really bad because even though I know she tries, a part of me still doubts no matter how hard I try not to because I KNOW she's a great friend. Things come up and I know that, so I'm sorry for doubting your friendship, though I've tried not to let you know how much it bothers me. Love you, Kiwi. <3
On top of feeling like all my friends don't actually like me, one of my old friends (whom I can't stand anymore) has been at my house the last two days. Let me tell you why I don't like her. For one, she's one big sack of drama. I swear to God her life is a soap opera and nothing you say to her helps. No matter how much help you give her there's always something else that she wants or think she needs. The second reason I no longer call her my friend goes back to my clingy ways. I have had several friends in the past call my mom their mom. It was always just teasing, like "Hey mom," anytime they came over. Or even she would say, "They're like my kids." I've NEVER had a problem with it until her. She comes along and instead of joking around with it, she calls her Mama or Mama Brenda. *eyeroll* No matter how much she hates her own mom, she's not taking mine from me. And for the last two days, she's been over at my house CONSTANTLY, fighting with her boyfriend who she's supposed to be living with. Both nights we've started to watch a show together and in comes little miss drama, tears in her eyes. "I'm done," she'll say, and two and a half hours later, everything's fine and dandy, but my mom and dad were stolen away from me. I know I'm a selfish bitch, but I at least admit it, right?
And if that wasn't enough, my cat that I've had for twelve long years is on his death bed... I haven't seen him since last night, so by now he may even be long gone. I have no idea whatsoever. I'll miss him like crazy. I knew it was coming, but because it's one thing added to so many other things that seem big but really aren't, my week is completely going down hill.
Someone rescue me before I fall deeper into this black hole. <3