(no subject)
I'm caught up on
The Black Donnellys
Heroes
Lost
The Office
and after the gym in a few moments, I'll be caught up on Scrubs as well.
I will literally have nothing to watch until wed.
oh well.
its spring break.
and I'm home.
Sick.
instead of someplace fantastic and warm.
definately a bummer.
I'm not really sure what my big plans are anymore.
I mean. move west.
finish school.
thats it.
travel. see things.
those are my only goals.
finding someone used to be on that list. its always been on that list.
finding that someone.
or even just a someone to pass the time with.
but I don't think thats on the list anymore.
not because i've found someone. because I don't want to look anymore.
I don't want the disappointment anymore.
its an odd feeling loosing that.
i mean. it throws a hole in some things.
like. why finish school and get a good job? to impress who?
i mean i suppose to make my parents proud, but they just want me to be happy.
why work out to have a good body? to seduce who?
i dunno, maybe for myself? just to feel good and confident?
im not sure.
why go out to bars and pretend im going to hit on girls?
why go to the beach to look at girls?
its all sort of a waste.
when it comes down to it
i should focus on:
school
working to save money
spending time with family and friends
being healthy.
i guess thats what im going to try to do.
no more obsessing.
no more wondering what if...
for now thats what the plan is.
i need to find a summer job that pays well. is flexible (because i like beach time anyway, for me, not to look at girls.). and doesn't suck. because i hate working when it sucks.
we'll see how it goes.
The Black Donnellys
Heroes
Lost
The Office
and after the gym in a few moments, I'll be caught up on Scrubs as well.
I will literally have nothing to watch until wed.
oh well.
its spring break.
and I'm home.
Sick.
instead of someplace fantastic and warm.
definately a bummer.
I'm not really sure what my big plans are anymore.
I mean. move west.
finish school.
thats it.
travel. see things.
those are my only goals.
finding someone used to be on that list. its always been on that list.
finding that someone.
or even just a someone to pass the time with.
but I don't think thats on the list anymore.
not because i've found someone. because I don't want to look anymore.
I don't want the disappointment anymore.
its an odd feeling loosing that.
i mean. it throws a hole in some things.
like. why finish school and get a good job? to impress who?
i mean i suppose to make my parents proud, but they just want me to be happy.
why work out to have a good body? to seduce who?
i dunno, maybe for myself? just to feel good and confident?
im not sure.
why go out to bars and pretend im going to hit on girls?
why go to the beach to look at girls?
its all sort of a waste.
when it comes down to it
i should focus on:
school
working to save money
spending time with family and friends
being healthy.
i guess thats what im going to try to do.
no more obsessing.
no more wondering what if...
for now thats what the plan is.
i need to find a summer job that pays well. is flexible (because i like beach time anyway, for me, not to look at girls.). and doesn't suck. because i hate working when it sucks.
we'll see how it goes.