Whatever happened to focusing on the positive
It's such a bummer when you try so hard for someone and the world's negativities pOwn you. It took me a lot of effort to buy all these birthday gifts for him on time, pre order his bday cake , rush to the grocery store during lunch hour, come home and set up his gifts, cook and prepare dinner for 3 hours. Unfortunately the carbon monoxide goes off during cake and the whole dinner is apparently spoiled. "This is a birthday I'll definitely remember..." [wait for it] "i have to work late and then I come home to have to have my evening interrupted for an hour because of the carbon monoxide". I don't blame him for feeling shitty because I've been feeling shitty too, but I've put in soo much effort into doing something nice and really taking care of him so that he has less to worry about. Listening to him talk to his sister was such a bummer. "So how was your birthday" "It was pretty awful actually. That week was just so bad and something unlucky would happen like every day. The carbon monoxide went off and the apartment is noisy and I had to work late..." etc . I feel sad. Why did I bother? I had shit too. I really thought I wasn't able to pull it off, that it would have been a year we didn't do much to celebrate. But I did pull it off. I made his birthday special. I delivered everything ON TIME. Because I created time. And I had our anniversary gifts on time. And he didn't get me anything. Which is not a big deal but it just makes me sad that out of all the things that he remembered about his birthday was the bad things. The unfortunate things. The nice things that I did that I thought was worth remembering weren't even worth mentioning. I don't really know how to feel about it but it's just a little heartbreaking.