"e
Welcome to the conundrum that is my life.
I'd rather fall tragically short
while chasing impossible dreams,
than do anything else in this world.
Destination: Big lights, big life.
If you are a pretentious idiot that uses immaturity to solve things, kindly fuck off. I don't need your surreality or your drama.
I'm not very aggressive, but if anyone thinks they're better than me, they will often face their doom with an abundance of harsh realities in the form of insults.
Eclectic and eccentric, undeniable self-proclaimed dork. A realistic idealist. Witty and sharp, I carefully make impressions and judgements through observation.
I have a tendency to think before I speak, and an affinity to hiding who I truly am until I know I can trust someone.
Emotional, tempermental and highly unpredictable. I'm a moody one, I wear my heart on my sleeve like a bruise or black eye. I'm a walking contradiction at times. Feisty to the core, I'll tear you a new asshole if you get on my nerves.
My quirky and childish antics include [but not limited to]: inevitably attempting to use my fist as my microphone, while serenading you via passenger seat, amusing you with the soundtrack of my life and of course biting your arm when I don't get my way.
To sum me up is a task deemed impossible. An unequal porportional ball full of sass, romantic tendencies, sarcasm, intelligence,and a bit of bitterness held against this world that I was born to lose in, but a hint of stubborness that I refuse to be held down, and live to win from.
With that being said let's delve a little deeper into the mind of Erin.
This is where the alter ego steps in
I'm sorry: I don't like you.
And I'm GLAD I'm nothing like you
My own entourage, I take care of myself.
If you want to get to know me, ask everybody that's never SPOKEN to me.
I ALWAYS pay attention. I'm truly listening and loving every second of conversation when I'm staring at my nails wondering what went wrong.
If you want to say I'm beautiful don't be upset when I smile politely. It's only because I want to die inside, it'll pass so we can get RIGHT BACK onto the topic of which celebrity made a faux-pas yesterday.
Where was I? Sorry...I've forgotten your name already. But it doesn't matter anyway; you're all the same.
All else is smoketone opaque to my crystal.
You must be the only fool here.
It must be comforting to consider it fucked up, it must be less awkward to consider anything as such abnormal. Your morals are abstract, no one bears the same consideration to what is right that you do. the word "harm" is not relative, because we all are harmful to someone somehow. You're breaking the heart of your first lover can cause the same damage as the rape of a child, depending on the person's temperment and how true the words are [andhowwilling].
I am what you need. AKA The Impossible Dose.
They choose you because you're easy to come by and a quick high. They choose you in larger masses because you're safer and relenting and can be taken in larger doses. They choose you because you're easy on the mind and none too thick in solution. They choose you because you're closer to home and not much different than all the rest of them. They choose you because you're cheap.
For all those reasons, they [don't] choose me. For all those reasons, they hear my goddamn name and they turn tail. Talk in whispers. Mention it muffled because their cupped hands and warn one another "No seriously don't fuck with that".
They [don't] choose me because I am without restraint and I break sound barriers. They [don't] choose me because i'm easy to find but hard to obtain. They [don't] choose me because i'm more than a minor addiction and have a tenyearshelflife of an aftertaste. They [don't] choose me because i'm incurable once inflicted. They [don't] choose me because i'm impossible to turn your back on, they [don't] choose me because everything else is a fivecent high afterwards. filler. echo. copy. lifted. dilluted.
A waste.
They [don't] choose me because even when you've got me under thumb i'm willing to bring the hammer down on your hand and my head just to get free. They [don't] choose me because rumor has it i've driven men mad, and rumor is everything. They [don't] choose me because my circles of speech are logical in how they skip and jump, They [don't] choose me because like a bad trip i'm pathless even when you saw it coming. They [don't] choose me because they're afraid, and when they do they're never the same.
They [don't] choose me, and when they do they don't talk about it. Can't talk about it. They [don't] choose me, but when they do it's the nervosa of shakes that whisper out their mouths on the subject. They [don't] choose me, but when they do they know how special and few they are.
So let them come and let them choose you, because they can't handle me.
When they sent me my knight in shining armor, Iburied him so deep to the ground that they'll bury him under skyscraper foundations before ever finding him. call it envy, but I am my own white fucking horse and the first man to lend hand was better off taking to a brick fucking wall. So boys please check yourself at the door, because unless you're homosexual or lacking your pieces, you're a threat here. [mindyou] not to me, but to yourself.
because nothing threatens me. [reallypleaselet'slaughaboutthat.]
So do as you fucking like, I bear no right to demand any silence from any of you. You will of your own choice, and I have no bearings to otherwise. However;
don't try for me. I'll warn the fucking world and now i'll warn you. Don't. You'll be wasting your time on something you will be completely dissapointed in, and if I don't dissapoint, i'll be dissapointed in you. All the children that ever tried left me sighing. Left me bored. Left me wondering where the distinction of awe dissapeared to that EVERYONE else saw.
My mouth is random and my words are hard to follow. I do not slow down for much of anything, and I only speak for and to myself unless I point directly at you.
I am the kid on your block that never lied to you. I am the one that does not stand out nor will ever choose to. L am the one who is not out to make friends. i'm screaming to myself, and save for any warnings I give to chase you away, I could care so little if anyone listened.
people will tell you i'm a saint
[they lie]
people will tell you i'm brilliant
[they over exaggerate]
people will tell you i'm possesed
[they don't understand]
people will tell you i'm full of shit
[they're jealous]
people will tell you i broke their heart
[they wanted it]
people will tell you i changed their life
[they need to stop fucking my sevenfootstrapon]
people will tell you alot of things
[but i'll tell you first]
i'm loud and obnoxious, and i don't wait my turn. i can't mind my own buisness, and i only stick up for someone when i want to, and attack instead when asked. i'm hot and cold on a good day, and lukewarm on the bads. i'm obssesive and possesive and repressive, and it makes me repeat until you wish i were mute. i'm two sided, but the sides are the same images in the mirror. i never change my mind correctly, and they all wonder if it's even a change with how i flow it. i pick up kids that let me and throw them away to rot when i'm done, peaking in at times to remind you that i'm no longer in your life. i don't mind loosing friends as much as i don't mind loss of lives because i understand this is a natural stage of growth development. i stick to evolution. i'm sarcastic when i love you, kind when i don't. i can't comfort for anyone, and i make you laugh because you're happy i'm not saying that shit about you. i'm a bitch. i'm a one way train to self destruction, and you're my strapped and sedated crew. i don't brainwash, you do it for me. i'm stupid. i'm an idiot. i'm an immature cunt who can't keep it to himse. i need to open up and share. i need to not be so touchy and alittle more social. i couldn't spell if a truck of alphabet blocks hit me at speedofsound miles per hour and the plate read "FONIX".
this is me. the mask you encounter is not this, but the similar girl on the streets that will be completely unabrasive to appease you.
no.
i'm not going to bloom like a fucking flower for you and drop all.
no.
i don't expect you to understand a word or see me as anything typical.
no.
i'm not naive enough to think the words "goth" or "attention whore" are below your state of mind for me.
no.
i don't expect you to leave me the fuck alone, to erase the word enima from your minds and thinks me unimportant. i can hope, but we all hope for silly things, don't we?
I'd rather fall tragically short
while chasing impossible dreams,
than do anything else in this world.
Destination: Big lights, big life.
If you are a pretentious idiot that uses immaturity to solve things, kindly fuck off. I don't need your surreality or your drama.
I'm not very aggressive, but if anyone thinks they're better than me, they will often face their doom with an abundance of harsh realities in the form of insults.
Eclectic and eccentric, undeniable self-proclaimed dork. A realistic idealist. Witty and sharp, I carefully make impressions and judgements through observation.
I have a tendency to think before I speak, and an affinity to hiding who I truly am until I know I can trust someone.
Emotional, tempermental and highly unpredictable. I'm a moody one, I wear my heart on my sleeve like a bruise or black eye. I'm a walking contradiction at times. Feisty to the core, I'll tear you a new asshole if you get on my nerves.
My quirky and childish antics include [but not limited to]: inevitably attempting to use my fist as my microphone, while serenading you via passenger seat, amusing you with the soundtrack of my life and of course biting your arm when I don't get my way.
To sum me up is a task deemed impossible. An unequal porportional ball full of sass, romantic tendencies, sarcasm, intelligence,and a bit of bitterness held against this world that I was born to lose in, but a hint of stubborness that I refuse to be held down, and live to win from.
With that being said let's delve a little deeper into the mind of Erin.
This is where the alter ego steps in
I'm sorry: I don't like you.
And I'm GLAD I'm nothing like you
My own entourage, I take care of myself.
If you want to get to know me, ask everybody that's never SPOKEN to me.
I ALWAYS pay attention. I'm truly listening and loving every second of conversation when I'm staring at my nails wondering what went wrong.
If you want to say I'm beautiful don't be upset when I smile politely. It's only because I want to die inside, it'll pass so we can get RIGHT BACK onto the topic of which celebrity made a faux-pas yesterday.
Where was I? Sorry...I've forgotten your name already. But it doesn't matter anyway; you're all the same.
All else is smoketone opaque to my crystal.
You must be the only fool here.
It must be comforting to consider it fucked up, it must be less awkward to consider anything as such abnormal. Your morals are abstract, no one bears the same consideration to what is right that you do. the word "harm" is not relative, because we all are harmful to someone somehow. You're breaking the heart of your first lover can cause the same damage as the rape of a child, depending on the person's temperment and how true the words are [andhowwilling].
I am what you need. AKA The Impossible Dose.
They choose you because you're easy to come by and a quick high. They choose you in larger masses because you're safer and relenting and can be taken in larger doses. They choose you because you're easy on the mind and none too thick in solution. They choose you because you're closer to home and not much different than all the rest of them. They choose you because you're cheap.
For all those reasons, they [don't] choose me. For all those reasons, they hear my goddamn name and they turn tail. Talk in whispers. Mention it muffled because their cupped hands and warn one another "No seriously don't fuck with that".
They [don't] choose me because I am without restraint and I break sound barriers. They [don't] choose me because i'm easy to find but hard to obtain. They [don't] choose me because i'm more than a minor addiction and have a tenyearshelflife of an aftertaste. They [don't] choose me because i'm incurable once inflicted. They [don't] choose me because i'm impossible to turn your back on, they [don't] choose me because everything else is a fivecent high afterwards. filler. echo. copy. lifted. dilluted.
A waste.
They [don't] choose me because even when you've got me under thumb i'm willing to bring the hammer down on your hand and my head just to get free. They [don't] choose me because rumor has it i've driven men mad, and rumor is everything. They [don't] choose me because my circles of speech are logical in how they skip and jump, They [don't] choose me because like a bad trip i'm pathless even when you saw it coming. They [don't] choose me because they're afraid, and when they do they're never the same.
They [don't] choose me, and when they do they don't talk about it. Can't talk about it. They [don't] choose me, but when they do it's the nervosa of shakes that whisper out their mouths on the subject. They [don't] choose me, but when they do they know how special and few they are.
So let them come and let them choose you, because they can't handle me.
When they sent me my knight in shining armor, Iburied him so deep to the ground that they'll bury him under skyscraper foundations before ever finding him. call it envy, but I am my own white fucking horse and the first man to lend hand was better off taking to a brick fucking wall. So boys please check yourself at the door, because unless you're homosexual or lacking your pieces, you're a threat here. [mindyou] not to me, but to yourself.
because nothing threatens me. [reallypleaselet'slaughaboutthat.]
So do as you fucking like, I bear no right to demand any silence from any of you. You will of your own choice, and I have no bearings to otherwise. However;
don't try for me. I'll warn the fucking world and now i'll warn you. Don't. You'll be wasting your time on something you will be completely dissapointed in, and if I don't dissapoint, i'll be dissapointed in you. All the children that ever tried left me sighing. Left me bored. Left me wondering where the distinction of awe dissapeared to that EVERYONE else saw.
My mouth is random and my words are hard to follow. I do not slow down for much of anything, and I only speak for and to myself unless I point directly at you.
I am the kid on your block that never lied to you. I am the one that does not stand out nor will ever choose to. L am the one who is not out to make friends. i'm screaming to myself, and save for any warnings I give to chase you away, I could care so little if anyone listened.
people will tell you i'm a saint
[they lie]
people will tell you i'm brilliant
[they over exaggerate]
people will tell you i'm possesed
[they don't understand]
people will tell you i'm full of shit
[they're jealous]
people will tell you i broke their heart
[they wanted it]
people will tell you i changed their life
[they need to stop fucking my sevenfootstrapon]
people will tell you alot of things
[but i'll tell you first]
i'm loud and obnoxious, and i don't wait my turn. i can't mind my own buisness, and i only stick up for someone when i want to, and attack instead when asked. i'm hot and cold on a good day, and lukewarm on the bads. i'm obssesive and possesive and repressive, and it makes me repeat until you wish i were mute. i'm two sided, but the sides are the same images in the mirror. i never change my mind correctly, and they all wonder if it's even a change with how i flow it. i pick up kids that let me and throw them away to rot when i'm done, peaking in at times to remind you that i'm no longer in your life. i don't mind loosing friends as much as i don't mind loss of lives because i understand this is a natural stage of growth development. i stick to evolution. i'm sarcastic when i love you, kind when i don't. i can't comfort for anyone, and i make you laugh because you're happy i'm not saying that shit about you. i'm a bitch. i'm a one way train to self destruction, and you're my strapped and sedated crew. i don't brainwash, you do it for me. i'm stupid. i'm an idiot. i'm an immature cunt who can't keep it to himse. i need to open up and share. i need to not be so touchy and alittle more social. i couldn't spell if a truck of alphabet blocks hit me at speedofsound miles per hour and the plate read "FONIX".
this is me. the mask you encounter is not this, but the similar girl on the streets that will be completely unabrasive to appease you.
no.
i'm not going to bloom like a fucking flower for you and drop all.
no.
i don't expect you to understand a word or see me as anything typical.
no.
i'm not naive enough to think the words "goth" or "attention whore" are below your state of mind for me.
no.
i don't expect you to leave me the fuck alone, to erase the word enima from your minds and thinks me unimportant. i can hope, but we all hope for silly things, don't we?