Granite State of Mind
Click to view*sigh* Yup, that's my state.
To be fair, a lot of this cracked me up, and a lot of it was true. And a lot of it made me *facepalm* and think "Oh Gods, I can't believe this is where I'm from"/"Oh Gods, I'm embarrassed I understand that joke".
For those of you who couldn't quite catch everything...
Yeah. Yeah, I'm up at Conway
Now I'm down in Manchester
Next to Adam Sandler
But I'll be woods forever
I'm the new Salinger
Cuz I could live anywhere
But I choose to live here
The middle of nowhere
I used to shop in Salem
Next to Rockingham Park
Right there up on 28
You'll find Canobie Lake Park
Bring me up to Portsmouth
The saloon at State Street
Catch me up at Gilley's after hours for some late eats
It's not the kangamangus
It's the Kancamagus
It's a scenic byway
That I like to drive in August
Now I'm down at Bedford
Home of Seth Meyers, yeah
Also Sarah Silverman
We're funny motherfuckas here
We like to say "whatsup guy?", it's the way we say hi
In February it is good to know a plow guy
It is shaped like a key, also where I like to ski
Tell by my belt buckle that I most definitely from...
NEW HAMPSHIRE
LAND WHERE THERE'S NO INCOME OR SALES TAX
THERE'S NOTHING MUCH TO DO
HERE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
THESE TREES WHERE LEAF PEEPERS DRIVE TO
MAPLE SYRUP IS PRO-DUCED
THIS IS NEW HAMPSHIRE, HAMPSHIRE, HAMPSHIRE
Catch me up at Loudin, at the Speedway for the race yo
I made the flannel shirt more famous than a scarecrow
Don't drink and drive here, listen to what I say
Even though we put our liquor stores right on the highway
You can drive Mount Washington
Hike up Mount Monadnock
In 1787 we invented the alarm clock
Concord Coach, Dartmouth Coach, the DowneasterAmtrak
On Squam Lake, Henry Fonda taught y'all how to act
Derry's Alan Shepard, first guy in a spaceship
It's a pity Christa McCaulliffe didn't make it
Didja hear about the ice storm in December of '08
I went without power for eleven straight days!
You can buy a handgun
You can buy some fireworks
Sandwich Fair, rest in peace Daniel Webster
America's Stonehenge, long live the dairy trade
Long live the Old Man
I'm from the Granite State that's
NEW HAMPSHIRE
PLACE WHERE STONYFIELD YOGURT IS MADE IN
AND COW TIPPING'S SO COOL
HERE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
DSL SERVICE IS BRAND NEW
YOU MIGHT EVEN SEE A MOOSE
HERE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE, HAMPSHIRE, HAMPSHIRE
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep
That's some Robert Frost, he's our most famous poet
It was actually written up in Vermont but it's associated with
The 603, where it's a fact I
Don't know any Hispanics and just one black guy
You can go to Bike Week, that's up in Laconia
In the winter months hit the notch in Franconia, home of
B-O-D-E our Olympic Ski Champion
He faced high pressure like my man Al Kaprielian
NEW HAMPSHIRE
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO WEAR A HELMET
THERE'S NOTHING THEY CAN DO
HERE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
MARKEY'S VERSE BROWN'S ON THE SEAFOOD
TELL ME WHICH ONE WILL YOU CHOOSE
WHEN YOU'RE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE, HAMPSHIRE, HAMPSHIRE
NINTH STATE RATIFIED OUT OF ALL FIFTY
IT CAN GET COLD
BUT STILL THE AUTUMN'S VERY PRETTY
WHEN THIS SONG MAKES ME RICH,
I'M A MOVE TO RYE
EVERYBODY PUMP YOUR FISTS AND YELL
LIVE FREE OR DIE! LIVE FREE OR DIE!
IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
STATE WHERE TRIPLE-H THE WRESTLER HAILS FROM
THAT GUY WOULD DESTROY YOU
IF YOU KNOCK NEW HAMPSHIRE
IT'S JUST LIKE OLD HAMPSHIRE BUT NEW
WE'RE OUT OF JOKES TO DO
ABOUT NEW HAMPSHIRE, HAMPSHIRE, HAMPSHIRE