You're all that I've got left
☂EXO
You're all that I've got left
Kai/Sehun; pg; auA/N: I really dont know how it turned out to be like this, I've tried though, lengthening it and trying to make it more emotional, but it just wont go that way. This was not beta-ed so I hope its still okay, on a standardized level. I don't usually write angst, so its a bit foreign to me for now. I'll improve in the future, I promise!
Comments are ♥
Kai watched as Sehun packed his luggage, he wasn't sure what it was inside of him that gave his heart a little squeeze. Sehun whipped his head around to look at Kai who's standing in the doorway. Sehun could no longer see the spark in his eyes that used to glow so brightly every time he smiled, it was like the fire had died. He knew how Kai felt about him, and he felt sorry, really sorry that he could no longer pretend to give back the mutual feeling.
Sehun stood up, hands pressed against the floor to get a better balance. He wanted to chant a thousand sorries to Kai, but nothing came out. He wanted to throw a big hug around Kai, but his hands froze. Maybe it wasn't love after all, maybe it was just a habit. A habit he's been having ever since he could remember, spending all these times with Kai, like brothers. You just grow so fond of each other that you own it to yourself to work things out and see if you can really be more than just friends.
Sehun let out a loud laugh throwing his head backwards. Kai continued to tickle him merciless, letting his hand wander all over Sehun's thin body.
"Stop!" Sehun said between breaths as he tried to squirm out of Sehun's grasp.
Just then the door clicked open, a small boy making his way inside. It took him three, just three steps closer to Sehun at that moment to make his heart flutter. The feeling was foreign, Sehun didn't know what it was and that was why it was so easy to disregard the feeling.
Kai saw the way Sehun's eyes lit up when he saw Luhan walk into that door, and he still recalled the look in Sehun's eyes. It was a look that he's never seen before when he's around Sehun, never before, not once.
"So you're really leaving" Kai uttered, hands crossed against his chest. He scoffed a little, suppressing his tears. Now that he said it out loud, it just makes it realer than ever.
Sehun didn't answer, but nodded his head. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out, so he closed it again. "He'll be here soon"
Kai nodded, not wanting to show his weakness. His eyes stung with tears and his nose soured, his knees were barely keeping him up straight. The dim orange light that was illuminating from the small bulb made the mood sulk.
"Do you know why I love you?" Kai barely whispered. Shutting both his eyes tightly, he inhaled a deep breath and tilted his head backwards, back leaned up against the still of the door, and just praying to god he doesn't break down right there and then.
Sehun stood still, but shook his head gently. He took a note of how Kai had emphasize on "LOVE" in present tense, he could tell Kai was about to break, that he was about to lose it. But he didn't have the courage to move, speak, or even reach out and hold him, not anymore.
"There are no reasons, there never was" Kai inhaled again, slowly opening his eyes as he stared deep into the ceiling. Silence painted over them, as both of them stayed completely motionless listening to one another's heaving breaths. Millions of thoughts trained into Kai's head, like a series of chains, one thought linking to another.
"Do you remember when we first met?" Kai asked again, a smile forming on his full lips. Sehun smiled at the thought too.
Kai walked down the empty corridor that reeked of pine scent mixed with wax. He had a red bagpack swung over his left shoulder as he began digging through his bag searching for his vibrating cell phone. He swears to god if this was another drunk text he's been getting in the middle of the day from his ex again, he's going to stab someone. Finding his cell he stared at the flashing screen, he scoffed and shook his head.
"Aren't you going to get that?" A voice muffled from behind. As Kai whirled around he stood face to face with another boy, taller, slimmer, paler.
Kai shook his head and he examined the boy from head to toe, his thin lips, tousled black hair, heavy leather jacket, soft dark black boots. "Who are you again?" Kai questioned.
"Sehun, Oh Sehun" He replied as he turned sideways and made his way through the door. "Your new roommate?" Kai had curiosity plastered all over his face. Throwing his bags onto the empty bed across from Kai's very own, he looked around.
The phone rang again, as Kai let out a grunt of annoyance before rolling her eyes. Before he could pull out his phone, he could feel a hand inside his back pocket, and before he knew it, his phone was in the hands of his so-called "new roommate".
"Hello, whoever you are, he's with me now so can you just stop calling or else I'd report to the police that you're verbally harassing him."
And that was when Kai realized, he could always count on Sehun. It was weird, really weird, how he could just feel, he knew in his guts, but it was just like how his guts had told him that he wanted to walk down the path of being an aspiring dancer. Same thing, just... different situation.
Kai scoffed to himself a bit before shaking his head. "You know, I've never really told you this.. But I've always knew-" But he was cut short by the sudden chime of the doorbell. Sehun looked down at the ground, unable to move. There it was again, the door bell buzzed for the second time.
"I-"
"You-" Both of them spoke up at the same time, both unable to look at each other in the eye.
"I should get that" Sehun offered, before making his way to the door. Kai could see from where he was standing, Luhan standing across Sehun, a huge smile plastered on his face. Kai could hear something along the lines of "come on lets go, the car's waiting" across the hallway, and that was the last straw.
Sehun had told Luhan to wait at the door, and that he was going to return and get his belongings in the room, Luhan nodded. Seeing Kai at the doorway, Luhan gave him a small friendly nod, and Kai did the same. Except, he felt as if he was breaking, every single bone of his body was about to break and there was nothing he could do about it.
Sehun returned to the door, Kai flashing him one last smile before watching Sehun's familiar back walk away from him, and the door swung shut.
Kai was finally able to fall, his weak knees no longer supported his body. As he slumped onto the floor, tears starts falling like pouring rain, his heart hurt, his body hurt, and he had this vigorous chest pain, like someone had punctured a knife right into his chest, twisted it, plunged it even deeper, and finally pulling it out. He had a hole in his heart, a hole that can never be replaced, not anymore.
("You know, I've never really told you this.. But I've always knew, from the start, that I like you and that I might actually love you. And no matter how many times you rip my heart open, no matter how many times you replace me with someone else, I will always love you. But please, dont leave me, because you're the only one I have left.")