unconditional love
∞
Unconditional Love
Hoya/Dongwoo ; Angst ; PG-13
Saying their last farewells for the night (but what if he never woke up again?).
"Goodnight," Hoya spoke up in the midst of the dark room, knowing that this was his last words.
Shifting his body so that he was lying on his side, Dongwoo placed a kiss on Hoya's lips. "Goodnight baby, sweet dreams."
"In the morning, when you wake up, make sure to read the letter," Hoya whispered softly. Staring each other in the eye, Dongwoo nodded. Hoya closed his eyes, sighed once, and gave a small faltering tired smile.
Dongwoo intertwined his fingers with Hoya's, and they fell asleep like that.
∞
to meet someone at first sight, how much can ones heart tremble before falling in love?
การพบเจอครั่งแรก, อาจทำให้ใจเราสั่นไหวมากขนาดไหน?
Towering over his own body, Hoya looked at the alarm clock beside his beside. He knew exactly when this was. It was his first day of work, the first day of everything in his life that he was living for.
Hoya was running late for his first day of work. So much for the alarm clock, it didn’t wake him up. Fixing his tie into the right position combing and his fingers through his hair, he hastily pushed the elegant glass door.
He remembered how his heart was racing at the speed of light as his emotions overflowed with a mixture of excitement, guilt, and anxiety. Excited because he finally got his first job, guilty because he's late for work, and anxious wondering how his boss and colleagues will treat him.
As he stood in a crowd of people, he saw himself, the past him, tapping his foot impatiently against the marble floor as he stared at the digital
number written on top of the elevator as the number decreased one by one. Surrounding him were businessmen and women who looked like they knew exactly what they were doing, security guards in blue uniforms with a walkie-talkie attached to their belt on one side and a holster on the other, and then there were janitors in their yellow vests mopping and cleaning.
With a ding, the elevator door opened. People were swarming in and out of the elevator, nobody actually giving a shit about another. Squeezing the best he could, he made his way into the elevator.
It was stuffy and suffocating, breathing one's oxygen as well as another's carbon dioxide. He could have sworn he would die of suffocation if he stayed in there any longer.
As the elevator door opened for the nth time, he finally got out on his floor. Forgetting that he was extremely late for his first day of work, he made his way into the office.
He was led into his cubicle by a fellow colleague, which he then settled down and started looking through the enormous pile of paperwork right in front of him.
A figure appeared standing next to entry to his cubicle, smiling down upon him. He was not exactly the best looking person Hoya had seen but he was gorgeous, especially when he smiled.
Hoya remembered exactly what happened at this moment, it was the first time and ironically the last time, he had fallen in love. He stood there, invisible to others as he saw himself talking to this gorgeous man.
"New here, huh?" He spoke up and smiled again. Hoya laughed and nodded as a reply, and he wasn't sure how he managed to smile to a stranger. He was extremely awkward towards people he had no relationship with whatsoever.
"Well, I'm Dongwoo, and I'm your neighbor!" He introduced himself as he turned around and pointed towards his own cubicle. Hoya nodded
again and smiled slightly.
"Well, you're awkward," Dongwoo chuckled bitterly. Hoya laughed and then looked at him.
"…Yeah, I'm kinda’ awkward i guess with... people I'm new to?" Hoya replied.
And this was how the friendship of the two began, eventually growing into something deeper, with more meaning, and dates of course.
∞
was it wrong to love someone so unconditionally?
มันผิดมากมั้ย ถ้าเราจะรักใครคนหนึ่งโดยไม่หวังผลตอบแทน?
Hoya felt as if something had electrocuted his whole body as he was transported into a new scenario.
Standing behind the shelf, he oversaw Dongwoo and his past self, sitting, laughing, and smiling occasionally and actually enjoying themselves. He remembered that this was the first time, when Dongwoo had finally gathered up the courage to ask him out.
"Hey, are you still with me?" Dongwoo asked, a concerned look plastered all over his face.
Hoya nodded and smiled.
"So as I was saying, maybe we can go out for dinner tonight? Or would you want to stay at home and cook?" Dongwoo asked as he seemed lost in thoughts.
"I'm alright with anything," Hoya replied and looked out the window.
Hoya stared down at his old self, how he used to sit there, and fall for the beautiful, awkward boy. He then found out later that Dongwoo wasn't as stingy as he thought after all. The older of the two had taken him to nice restaurants, took him to Starbucks for coffee, and even suggested going to the amusement park. Two guys, going to the amusement park was weird enough… but them being legal and going to the amusement park was even weirder…
Following his old self back home, he stood there wondering if his old self could see him now, standing and gazing back at him.
Once home from a long day at work, he sighed when he finally stabbed the key into the keyhole and it turned with a click. Plopping down on the sofa, remote control in hand, he started flipping through the different channels.
Shrugging off his tuxedo and throwing it onto the side, he sunk back into the couch, embracing its warmth.
Ever since he started his first job, his life has been great... more than great actually. He had to say that it had been almost perfect. He was getting a good pay, he was getting along great with his colleagues, and the most perfect part was he was actually getting to experience something he had never felt before with this guy called Dongwoo.
Hoya knew what was to come, a doorbell was going to ring. And he wasn't wrong.
A few seconds later, the doorbell rang as the past Hoya stood up from the couch, as if he was expecting a guest. The latter pulled off his
tie and hung it on the usual hanger beside the door as he clicked to unlock the lock, twisted the door knob and pulled the door open.
Standing in front of him was Dongwoo, grinning like a mad man, with brown grocery bags in both hands. Greeting Hoya with a dumb smile, he made his way into the kitchen.
They were cooking pasta for dinner as Dongwoo had made Hoya agree that that’s what they will be having for dinner tonight.
As Hoya went to set up the table, Dongwoo fiddled with pots and pans and oils inside the kitchen. The smell of cooked pasta and tomato sauce filled the kitchen as Hoya sniffed the air, exhaling sofly.
Returning to the dining room from behind the kitchen bar, holding up a large pot of what seems to be pasta sauce, he slowly placed it on the
table. Walking back into the kitchen he re-entered the dining room a few moments later with a big bowl of pasta.
The current Hoya sniffed the familiar air, the scent that had always reminded him of Dongwoo as he witnessed the scene right in front of him. It was like he was scavenging through his own memories, visually, that is.
Moments later, Dongwoo had his lips pressed up against Hoya's. And that night, was the first night that Hoya had ever felt like he was born to live for something. And Dongwoo was his something.
∞
everybody is born in this world to live for someone, but with life comes time.
ทุกคนเกิดมาในโลกๆนี้ เพราะเราเป็นเหตุผลของคนบางคน. แต่เราก็มีเวลาจำกัดมาก.
It didn't take long before Hoya heard a buzz in his ears as he let out a loud ah as the pitch stung his ears. Both hands on his ears, he sunk down onto the floor and everything went pitch black.
"Hello?" he yelled.
"So you're on time," a voice spoke up. Hoya couldn't see who it was, but the voice was familiar enough for him to guess.
"I've said my farewells. Now leave him alone," Hoya yelled; he wasn't sure in which direction to look at. A horrifying laugh rose out of the pitch black as suddenly a bright light shone right into his face.
Hoya squinted, letting his pupils adjust to the sudden exposure of light as he stood up slowly.
"As long as I have your soul, I wouldn't need his. I can be reborn again. I can have everything I ever want as a mortal." The voice spoke up again, this time filled with victory.
"You know, everybody is born for a reason, but if you lack a reason, there’s no value left in your life," Hoya said for the last time, before walking down the aisle that led him to the light. "And I'm sure you don't have one. And your life?" He paused for a moment before smirking, "It'll suck more than hell."
∞
don't cry because its over, smile because it happened.
อย่าร้องไห้เพราะมันจบลงแล้ว, แต่ยิ้มเพราะกาลครั้งหนึ่งมันเคยเกิดขึ้น.
Like every other morning, Dongwoo turned onto his side and looked at the sleeping Hoya. He was beautiful; flawless to be exact.
Dongwoo smiled, tracing a finger lightly down the dancer's jawline and back up again. He then traced his hands down Hoya's perfectly sculpted nose, and he stopped at the tip, lifted his body and placed a soft tender kiss onto hisnose. He immediately knew something was wrong, it was as if Hoya wasn't breathing.
Hovering a finger over the nostrils to find no sign of inhalation or exhalation. Wondering if this was just a joke, he lifted his body once again, to place a soft kiss onto the lips. His lips were cold and pale. Alarmed, Dongwoo placed his hands on Hoya's forehead, only to feel the cold skin brush against his own.
Eyes widening in concern and shock, Dongwoo did what most people would have done. He placed his right ear against Hoya's chest, trying to find a heartbeat. And there was none. There... was none.
Suddenly remembering what Hoya had told him earlier that night, he reached over to the bedside table to see a white envelope with his name written on it in the familiar penmanship.
"First off I'd like to say, thank you for everything. I know it hasn't been long since we've met, but it felt as if I've known you since forever. Ever since the first day we met, do you still remember how we met? You came up to me, introduced yourself, and we were just awkward colleagues.
But then a lot of things had changed since you've mustered the courage to ask me out. And remember how you'd laugh whenever things got awkward? Yeah, that’s what I like about you."
Dongwoo sniffed, tears starting to form at the corner of his eyes, nose souring.
"To be quite honest, for now, you're the reason I’m living. Yes, I know it's cheesy and lame, but it’s the truth. Before this, I've thought about giving up everything in life, but after that first day at work, after that day I've met you, I've had a big change of heart. Someone once told me
that, you shouldn't live with the person you can live with, rather the person you couldn't live without. And that’s why i chose you."
He chuckled a little; Hoya had always been the cheesy one and that was what he liked about him.
"I'm pretty sure that once you're reading this letter, I'd be long gone. I'm not sure how I'm going to go, but I hope you know that I love you. I always have, and I always will. I'm hoping you'd smile more often like you used to, I hope you'd be strong like you always have been, and I hope you live your life to the fullest, and live your life for me. I'm sorry I can’t be here for you like how I once promised you that I will be. But I can promise you this once again that I will be there in your heart with you, always.
But for now, I'm hoping you'll be able to find someone you can spend the rest of your life happily with, and find someone else to replace me. Live with the person you want to live with happily, someone who's like me, or not like me it really depends on you. I'm just saying that I am willing to sacrifice everything for you, and I'm sure you knew that. And so right now, I’m sacrificing myself, for you to be happy for the rest of your life. And I hope we can meet again, up here. I'll be sure to save you a spot, after around 80 more years?
I've had the best time of my life, spending each and every minute of my life with you. And I wish I‘d met you earlier, this way I'd be able to spend even more time with you. But life was never fair, they give you something, just to take it back from you at the moment you least expect it to. And that’s what life is doing to us.
And finally, I hope when you look back at our memories, I hope you'd smile at them and think of me. I'll always be here waiting for you, up here waiting for you. I love you. Forever."
Clutching that piece of paper to his chest, he started sobbing as hot tears ran down his cheeks. His visions staring blearily at the figure lying there coldand paralyzed, the person he'd love the most.
And that was how this love story ended.