"don't give up on me...
...I'm about to come alive."
I'm dissatisfied. Don't worry, it has nothing to do with you, or maybe everything. I feel out of place, and rather singular. I'm not going anywhere, I'm not accomplishing anything. Everyone I know is headed somewhere, towards a degree they believe in, a job they know they want... or getting married. I feel like I have no contribution to make to the world except converting CO2 into Oxygen and Carbon monoxide... or however it works. There are things I want to do, things I want, but none of them are happening, nothing is manifesting itself as possible. Money is an issue, I don't have a job, and it seems nearly impossible to find one. The closest I get to feeling useful is walking around in the sunshine, staying out of people's way. What /am/ I living for? I can't make friends, I can't get a job, I can't seem to /learn/ anything, or even stay healthy. I WANT to make friends! I Want to work! I Want to love what I learn. I can love it, but I seem to shut it off out side of the classroom. Where has my dedication gone? I don't want to be depressed over anything, I won't use it as a handicap. I just... don't know how to get what I want out of life, or even how to figure out what it is I want life to be. I want the things I once had. I miss being in Highschool! I miss my friends, the whole lifestyle of living in Paris; the places, the bars, the gatherings in parks, the public transportation, the drunk boys pissing in building corners at 3am. I knew my way around in life there, I knew people, places, and things to do! So I suppose I just miss being acclimated to a certain area. If I make myself be here another year, maybe things will work out. "If I just_____, maybe things will _____."
What about you? fill in the blanks: "If I ______, maybe things would ______."
I'm dissatisfied. Don't worry, it has nothing to do with you, or maybe everything. I feel out of place, and rather singular. I'm not going anywhere, I'm not accomplishing anything. Everyone I know is headed somewhere, towards a degree they believe in, a job they know they want... or getting married. I feel like I have no contribution to make to the world except converting CO2 into Oxygen and Carbon monoxide... or however it works. There are things I want to do, things I want, but none of them are happening, nothing is manifesting itself as possible. Money is an issue, I don't have a job, and it seems nearly impossible to find one. The closest I get to feeling useful is walking around in the sunshine, staying out of people's way. What /am/ I living for? I can't make friends, I can't get a job, I can't seem to /learn/ anything, or even stay healthy. I WANT to make friends! I Want to work! I Want to love what I learn. I can love it, but I seem to shut it off out side of the classroom. Where has my dedication gone? I don't want to be depressed over anything, I won't use it as a handicap. I just... don't know how to get what I want out of life, or even how to figure out what it is I want life to be. I want the things I once had. I miss being in Highschool! I miss my friends, the whole lifestyle of living in Paris; the places, the bars, the gatherings in parks, the public transportation, the drunk boys pissing in building corners at 3am. I knew my way around in life there, I knew people, places, and things to do! So I suppose I just miss being acclimated to a certain area. If I make myself be here another year, maybe things will work out. "If I just_____, maybe things will _____."
What about you? fill in the blanks: "If I ______, maybe things would ______."